I think I have to check myself into a mental institution or commit suicide...

[deadendgame]

So after many months of thinking, I finally realized that these are the only choices I got. I can't work for reasons that are described in my posts, so I need advice and feedback on what I am going to do. First, I will check myself to the hospital. Then I will pack all my shit and put it in my car. This includes my laptop, desktop, iphones, XBOX 360's, iPods, iPads, clothes, other electronics, family jewels and treasure, nonperishable food, and as much shit as I can fit into my vehicle. Then burn everything else and drive to the hospital. In the hospital, I will stay as long as possible until they transfer me to another hospital. When I have been hospitalized x number of times, they will transfer me to an institution. In that situation, I need to ask someone to move my car to the institution. I need to ask my mom for the title to the car to ensure ownership. I also need to open up a savings account and ask my parents to deposit as much money as they can give me so that I may survive more years. They can give me $10000 dollars, they can give me $1, they can give me 0 dollars. Start a fundraiser to raise as much money as possible. It don't matter, it only helps. Once I am stable and am able to work, I will work to support a living. If I cannot afford rent I will drive back to the institution and check myself in again. My family can decide not to have anything to do with me. It's fair. I have been an asshole and I accept that. There are steps I must take in preparation: 1) Apply for medicaid. 2) Apply for disability. 3) Apply for food stamps. 4) Apply for any other shit that can help my ass. 5) Wipe out all data on my electronics and burn all papers. Get rid of the "evidence" that I even existed so I can start over. It ain't hard for me to be accepted. I mean I really am crazy. Any helpful advice/tips on what to do before I get started? Thanks everyone!

 

[Mysterie]

what has been going on in your life recently for you to want to institutionalise yourself?

in my experience mental hospitals are not really the best place for rehabilitation, i just got fed enough drugs to zombie out and it sucked.

is it possible you are in an especially bad frame of mind at the moment and you would reconsider such a move in a few days/weeks?

 

[deadendgame]

Do you have a better plan? I can't make rent. That's the problem.

 

[Erikmen]

what has been going on in your life recently for you to want to institutionalise yourself?

in my experience mental hospitals are not really the best place for rehabilitation, i just got fed enough drugs to zombie out and it sucked.

is it possible you are in an especially bad frame of mind at the moment and you would reconsider such a move in a few days/weeks?

I agree with you completely. Unfortunately some of these places are not somewhere you would like to be left IMO.

 

[Mysterie]

Do you have a better plan? I can't make rent. That's the problem.

my first thought is to make a post in 'second opinion', outlining your situation in terms of not being able to work, what state you live in, what rent costs, how much money you get from benefits you are currently on.

someone might know of some kind of service like a halfway house or some kind of government assistance that could be of use to you.

or in real life, ask people that you know what ideas they have that they would do in your position.

my first instinct is that there must be a better option for yourself rather than mental hospital or death at this point. and a solution could arise through asking for help.

even if you go into some more detail here about why you are unable to make rent/unable to work, someone might have some more info. i couldn't find in your previous posts where you mentioned it.

 

[Tanner Blaze]

I lived in a van by the beach for 5 months when I lost my job. Of course this was ten years ago and in So Cal where the weather is nice. As far as $, "If you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life." Find your passion.

 

[The Shadow Self]

Reach out to some family and/or friends and let them help you. You sound like you are really gripping, and trust me...many of us have been there. Things can get better, but your plan isn't one that's amenable to the kind of help you might need, how to get it, and get yourself out of this hole you're in. Being someone that's worked in psychiatric hospitals for 20+ years, I can tell you that while you can receive help should you require that level of care, but they are not places designed for long-term care. However...inpatient units are often a place to start when you are struggling with decisions like "should I end my life". That's really serious and you need some help and need to go about getting it appropriately. Any questions, just ask. I know it's short but I'm at work now...at a psychiatric facility, ironically.

 

[closeau]

I would say if you're contemplating suicide, def check yourself in. Like has been mentioned, there really not places for inspiration and such. When I was in one it was like zombies everywhere. If you feel you've exhausted every other resource then do what you gotta do. Seems from your post you've put a lot of thought into it. Have you been to a dr yet? You could possibly have a serious mental illness that can be treated with meds and skip the kinda hell of an institution. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best

 

[deadendgame]

Can I stay in a mental hospital for the rest of my life? The thing is, I sort of want

So I'm a paranoid schizophrenic mentally retarded drug addict living in my parents' basement with no job, no money, no cars and no bitch. You probably heard it a million times. It is quite a predicament I am in as I'm about to lose my health insurance soon and lose my home. So what can I do? I can check myself into a mental hospital for the rest of my life. Whenever they try to kick me out, I can always make it seem more serious. If the government wants to fuck me over and kick me out of my home, I'll just turn that shit around and check myself into the ER. It may not be the best situation, but I will not die there at least. I learned to adapt to this type of environment so I know what I am getting myself into. I know how it works around here. Will I get free shit? Like free shelter, food, etc. And how long can I keep it up? I'm thinking smart. Can't kill me. Another option is jail, but I don't want to get fucked in the ass <snip>

 

[GolemGolem]

Sorry, but if you're in the US, prison is the biggest mental hospital we got, and the care is shit. It's real easy to get into though..if that's what you wanna do. I hate having to fight over trifling bullshit for "honor" though and prison seems to be that and boredom.
The hobo life sounds a hell of a lot better to me, if you are as you say you should get SSI and can end up in some SRO roach motel and better food. . ..
Sorry but no well funded asylum on beautiful grounds exist for folks in your tax bracket.

 

[T. Calderone]

OP, I merged your two threads as you may get some better insight as to how the mental health system operates in the United States. We don't have nearly as many state run facilities as we did years ago. So it would be very hard to "check in for life." It just doesn't work that way.

I was sectioned a couple times and it's no fun. Speaking from personal experience, they keep you locked in a ward. Anytime you go for meals or need to have a smoke, a staff member accompanies the group and you all go together. They're not going to allow you to have a cell phone, let alone laptop or x-box. If you need to make a phone call, you use their phones in the hallway when allowed. You have no expectation of privacy.

If you seriously think that this is something you really need, speak with your psychiatrist and get input also from your therapist. What about your parents? Are they concerned about your mental state? Like Golem said, you could apply for SSI though it could take some time to get a decision. Food stamps you could get fairly quickly if you qualify.

You didn't say your age so I'm not sure if you could get Medicaid right now. But if you get approved for disability benefits, you would get Medicaid as well. My best advice for you is to stay off all illegal drugs as they tend to exacerbate psychiatric conditions. Do not go off your psych meds unless you talk with your doctor first. Let us know how you're doing and don't be afraid to ask for help!

 

[GolemGolem]

I was sectioned a couple times and it's no fun. Speaking from personal experience, they keep you locked in a ward. Anytime you go for meals or need to have a smoke, a staff member accompanies the group and you all go together. They're not going to allow you to have a cell phone, let alone laptop or x-box. If you need to make a phone call, you use their phones in the hallway when allowed. You have no expectation of privacy.

Yeah, I spent a couple weeks in a psych hospital and I didn't even get to keep my shoelaces, let alone communication with the outside world and games. It was not fun, I was suicidal and surrounded by people with worse problems than me which only made me feel guiltier and guiltier until they let me out after I used up my insurance. Treatment consisted of 15min talk with a disinterested psych, and 8-10 hours of group (think) therapy. Entertainment consisted of one TV in the day room controlled by middle aged ladies and old readers digests, and then after lights out listening to people having psychotic breaks.

Getting on disability and medicaid and maybe some section 8 housing is a better and realistic goal, in the meantime, hopping trains, loitering at libaries and dumpster diving is always there and not all bad either.

 

[d3athadone]

That sounds like a terrible idea to me. You open yourself up to the abuse of the system by doing that. They don't give a fuck about you and will gladly order you some electroshock or god only knows what els. Those places just make you more crazy bro. Trust me I been there. You seem like your good at making plans, why not draw up another plan that involves just doing good shit for yourself daily. In a while you'll feel better. Go to school or some shit. Thats what I'm doing.

I've learned that half of the fact were so messed is because were isolated. Get out there. GL bro

 

[closeau]

Man, i agree with everybody but ive kinda been where you are and there was acpoint in my life i actually considered doing that very thing. Just check myself in and never come out. I spent 2 months in a ward about 5 yrs ago and i didnt want to leave but they made me. I finally got on the right meds and got disability but itvtook 2 yrs but you can still apply. Just your mental illness alone will get you it. Food stamps and housing sound better than the ward man. I have phycosis with my bipolar but i am not paranoid schizophrenic so i dont know how youvfeel but thats like the worst man. Please stay on your meds if youre on any and like has been said, dont do any shit thats gonnavmake your illness worse. If you PM me maybe we can go into depth and i can try to help you man. You can live out here with us bro. Dont go into the system and be just another lost soul. I had a girlfriend once who had same mental illness and she was the most creative, beautiful person on the inside and im sure you are too man you just need some help. Let me know if i can do anything man and keep checking in with us cause we all care for ya man. Thats how this thing works. May God be with you and may you find peace!