xammy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
- Messages
- 2,225
It feels nostalgic to look back at those times when I was first using methoxetamine.. I remember doing my first dose at a friends place, coming home hours later still wonky. I remember being little worried if the effects wouldn't go away. I remember ordering my first 500mg bag which lasted for a long time. Starting with low doses, every time being different adventure into your mind. Vivid recall of past memories. The first HOLE. The concept of dying, letting go and accepting to die. This was before I had tried any other dissociative.. MXE was my first disso and thereby my first love. It was just weird at first. Robotic. Music didn't sound too good, not enhanced, just weird and distant, off-sync. Every time it was better than before. There was no hangover, just a great afterglow every time. Life was good, I had found this magical place I could go whenever I wanted. Still many years later I find myself reading about methoxetamine and writing this stuff. I don't know, somehow I think the most magical M-holes blew LSD or any other psychedelic out of the window by how introspective and significant they were. I doubt I would've ever posted so much on bluelight if it wasn't for MXE. Hell, check out my avatar.
However, MXE was the first drug to ever teach me that there was a thing called addiction. That thing every one of us are so naive to think they would be immune against at first. I never went hardcore though, maybe sometimes 4-5 days in a row and only at nights. But that was too much and I had to let it go, but what a ride it was. MXE showed me how good things are in my life, how I shouldn't take anything for granted. After a few grams, the magic was gone and it became just a hedonistic habit.
One day we'll meet again, my friend.
However, MXE was the first drug to ever teach me that there was a thing called addiction. That thing every one of us are so naive to think they would be immune against at first. I never went hardcore though, maybe sometimes 4-5 days in a row and only at nights. But that was too much and I had to let it go, but what a ride it was. MXE showed me how good things are in my life, how I shouldn't take anything for granted. After a few grams, the magic was gone and it became just a hedonistic habit.
One day we'll meet again, my friend.