I've noticed that you have been posting a lot about how you're drinking. I was actually still in the same boat just over a week ago, had been drinking about every evening in the range of 2-3 litres of beer. Was thinking the same, that "goddamn I'm drinking again" and it seemed like I didn't have the power/tools to take it under control. Of course it was by no means heavy drinking, but still I guess the idea of me being a slave of beer AGAIN was just nagging me. So then I decided to go back to my good old friend codeine, which I have to CWE, meaning that there's still a considerable amount of APAP left in the final solution - can't drink with that. First few days that was all I relied upon not to drink any beer, but now I, strangely enough, don't even feel like drinking. Alcohol high in retrospect seems so dirty and useless compared to a good opioid high - I don't do/say stupid shit, I don't fiend for more beer which usually results in me drinking overboard and messing up my next day with a hangover, I actually remember the whole evening, I wake up fresh and actually feeling like being productive. Now I know substituting one addiction for another is never a good idea, but I've been a codeine user for a while and it has never been problematic for me. Hope it stays that way. Guess what I tried to say is, maybe try to find a substitute that is less destructive mentally/physically, which will also make you forget beer? Not the best harm reduction advice, but just throwing it out there since it seems other approaches don't work for you.
On topic, a nice codeine dose last evening. Ended up chilling, listening to music and playing some video games.
