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How do you STOP using?

bdomihizayka

bdomihizayka

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 30, 2012
Messages
582
Location
Down the rabbit hole
How do you get off heroin? When money is no problem, and you live 10 minutes from the best dope in the country?

I cannot stand withdrawal. And I cannot even make it 24 hours without scoring dope. They say location isn't important but i beg to differ. The only times I've been able to quit were places I weren't familiar with in the middle of nowhere whereas if I even knew I found dope, it would have been stomped to shit since it's so far from the main source.

And then I always end up back here and on the shit and cannot tolerate withdrawal at all. I have nothing to lose. Nothing to gain. How do YOU stop when you know you can keep on using without consequence? Suicide is the last stop for me it seems.
 
Can I ask you a serious question without sounding facetious? If money is no problem, you live 10 minutes from the best dope in the country, and you can keep on using without consequences, why stop at all? I ask that because I sometimes ask myself if I were in a situation similar to yours would I have ever got clean in the first place.
 
It's guilty conscience. Nobody in my life would approve of it as they haven't in the past. I don't want to ever get busted by the police which is an ongoing issue if you use daily copping and all. It just feels wrong to me. I don't know. I know- sure- addicts dream.... but I'm just scared of getting caught most I guess by loved ones and even worse the police.
 
I haven't posted on here in a long time I'm up late and bored so....
Without hearing more of your story I'll just post my thoughts on the thread and replies. Running out of money isn't really the only consequence to doing dope. There are so many other things that you encounter on that road that make enough becoming enough. Hell my worst periods of addiction were the result of being too paid and too close to it. Honestly if money isn't an option you shouldn't be copping daily anyways but you can either learn the hard way and go to jail, overdose, or I dunno.
I had to get arrested, a few times.
You have to be fairly young because eventually it all catches up with you. If you don't want your family and friends hearing about you getting nailed, losing all your close friends, having the rest of them who get high too end up in the same boat and just due to the law of averages 3/4ths going to jail and dying then maybe think about cutting the cord. Fuck money and proximity to dope... Look at what means the most to you. Cash and your connections or your dignity and life.

I speak very matter of factly because most of my friends are dead.
 
If you have money and it's only 10 minutes away, why bother? If you can't think of a good reason to quit, it will be hard to do it on your own. You said you use withotu consequences but then mention suicide. So it sounds like it is affecting you negatively.

Is it affecting your health or your quality of life? That would be a good reason to quit. Make up your mind to quit and quit. One way to quit is to taper. Tapering can be painless and free of withdrawal symptoms. You don't need to be strong willed to taper. If you can't taper on your own, I would do something like going camping in the wilderness for a couple of weeks with a strict schedule to taper and a limited supply.




bdomihizayka said:
How do you get off heroin? When money is no problem, and you live 10 minutes from the best dope in the country?

I cannot stand withdrawal. And I cannot even make it 24 hours without scoring dope. They say location isn't important but i beg to differ. The only times I've been able to quit were places I weren't familiar with in the middle of nowhere whereas if I even knew I found dope, it would have been stomped to shit since it's so far from the main source.

And then I always end up back here and on the shit and cannot tolerate withdrawal at all. I have nothing to lose. Nothing to gain. How do YOU stop when you know you can keep on using without consequence? Suicide is the last stop for me it seems.
Click to expand...
 
Is dope the only thing in your life? The consequences might not be obvious right now but I guess that you already know (hence already trying to quit) that this shouldn't fool you... Money will get shorter and shit only gets worse, it is an ultimately unsustainable habit...

I guess you have to make your own reasons not to use. Things outside the dope lifestyle, like new friends, passions... This kind of stuff you don't build in a night. Part of you already knows the dope life isn't the best choice it seems, you have to convince the rest of you, with things to wake up for other than getting high. Tough work...

Idk, just my 2 cents
 
The other thing is, opiates make my anxiety WORSE. They increase negative intrusive thoughts (OCD) so I had to start seeing a psychiatrist to get RX'd benzos JUST so I could tolerate dope. That's fucked up. I'm scared I made my baseline anxiety worse, I need off the benzos ASAP (2mg klonopin 2 months) and dope. I am attempting to cold turkey the dope tomorrow and turn myself in to my family as I just cannot do it anymore. Can anyone suggest a benzo taper? I am highly sensitive to benzos, as I have been on them in the past and was physically dependant in 3 weeks with bad depersonalization coming off (prescribed dose, never abused a benzo in my life).

Any suggestions?

Sorry for being such a fuckup. I'm scared for my sanity. I guess I should have stated that sooner as well.

And yea, I need a drug counselor and support. I go to the gym and all but am a recluse most of the time. Out of school this semester because of my drug problems.
 
I know this is going to sound too simple, but imagine your life without drugs, maybe in a different time and place. Imagine your living 500 years in the past, living as a farmer in some village in Europe. How would your life be different? Could you be happy and sober? Of course they had drugs and alchol back in those days, but it was a much different situation. Like what happens sometimes on LSD, you need to release your ego and hit the reset button on life.
 
Tanner Blaze said:
I know this is going to sound too simple, but imagine your life without drugs, maybe in a different time and place. Imagine your living 500 years in the past, living as a farmer in some village in Europe. How would your life be different? Could you be happy and sober? Of course they had drugs and alchol back in those days, but it was a much different situation. Like what happens sometimes on LSD, you need to release your ego and hit the reset button on life.
Click to expand...

I dislike all drugs besides opiates. I don't drink- don't like nicotine or pot. I could totally see myself drug free without heroin. I just have problems going through the withdrawal.

People say withdrawal is easy, staying clean is harder, and I couldn't disagree anymore! I cannot stand or tolerate withdrawal. When I'm clean, it's relatively easy for me to not use. I have huge chucks of clean time before all this.



How should I get off the klonopin guys? Can I do a quick one week taper since I was only on about two months?
 
You're probably in denial about the lack of consequence. At the very least you will progress pretty quickly from where you are to negative consequences if you continue with an addiction to illicit hard drugs, it's pretty much unavoidable.

Think about it a bit harder and ask yourself if there are really no consequences. If you still think there aren't then I will give a few suggestions.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
You're probably in denial about the lack of consequence. At the very least you will progress pretty quickly from where you are to negative consequences if you continue with an addiction to illicit hard drugs, it's pretty much unavoidable.

Think about it a bit harder and ask yourself if there are really no consequences. If you still think there aren't then I will give a few suggestions.
Click to expand...

The more I am digging in this thread, I am seeing more and more consequences. The number one is the benzo script I had to get to even tolerate the opiate use. I am not abusing theh benzos and never have, but I know how dangerous and sucky they are. I need OFF opiates and benzos. I started the benzos to tolerate the opiates.

How should I taper the klonopin. I' stable on 1mg/ day. Fast taper, short? Pleast any advice!
 
im guessing your from detroit or jersey or possibly your in the middle east as a soldier?

regardless,

stopping can be done by a variety of means... tapering would be the easiest

NA/AA/programs work for some people.

I went to a nice rehab facility that I was forced to go to whcih in turn made me quit.

You could try maintanence programs suboxone/methadone?

Really the ball is in your court with this one


this is my favorite sobriety speech..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAZ9aL30qOI
 
DETROIT*edm*JUNKIE said:
im guessing your from detroit or jersey or possibly your in the middle east as a soldier?

regardless,

stopping can be done by a variety of means... tapering would be the easiest

NA/AA/programs work for some people.

I went to a nice rehab facility that I was forced to go to whcih in turn made me quit.

You could try maintanence programs suboxone/methadone?

Really the ball is in your court with this one


this is my favorite sobriety speech..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAZ9aL30qOI
Click to expand...


Jersey boy- guilty as charged. Problem is, all opiates make my anxiety worse, even subs and meth. One day they just turned their face on me and now increase my intrusive thoughts and give me panic attacks which I have to mitigate with klonopin.

I am definitely NOT going to rehab UNTIL I can get off these damn benzos. I want a chance at a slow, humane taper.

I'm stable on 1mg/day..... so where should I start? 2 months use?


I'll help anyone out who can help me out....that's a promise.
 
It sounds like you have stress and anxiety under all this. Opiates make it worse because they relax your waking mind enough that this subconscious stuff gets through. You need to confront that. It will help if you do things that calm you and keep you busy enough that you can cope with the stress as it comes through;
 
I have OCD as well. Get a therapist that specializes in people on the OCD spectrum. Mine has helped me learn to mitigate my anxiety through a variety of breathing exercises, hobbies, and talk therapy. I do take meds, but only because my case is pretty severe....intense agoraphobia, paranoia...etc.
 
bdomihizayka said:
The more I am digging in this thread, I am seeing more and more consequences. The number one is the benzo script I had to get to even tolerate the opiate use. I am not abusing theh benzos and never have, but I know how dangerous and sucky they are. I need OFF opiates and benzos. I started the benzos to tolerate the opiates.

How should I taper the klonopin. I' stable on 1mg/ day. Fast taper, short? Pleast any advice!
Click to expand...

There's no right answer as to how you should taper, there's pros and cons of different methods. Do you just want to be clean quick and are confident you can deal it being quite difficult or are you happy to go slower and take your time to reduce any extreme withdrawl (but you will have to face up to it being more drawn out)? Do you have a job you need to hold down? What sort of environment are you going to do the taper/detox in? There are lots of things to consider.

With regards to consequences, here are some things to think about....

1. Think about how much time is devoted to getting and using gear, and then think about the other things you could be doing in this time.
2. Think about whether the use of hard drugs is impairing your ability to be properly mentally and emotionally present in all areas of your life.
3. Think about whether your using is alienating from people you care about, either through their not wanting to associate with a hard drug user or through your declining interest in other people (see point 1).
4. Think about whether you are as motivated in other areas of your life as you would be sober when you are in the bubble of opiates.
5. Think about the potential being a slave to a drug has to damage your self-respect/dignity/self-esteem in the long run.
6. Think about how much being reliant on the supply of drugs restricts you in your geographical movements.


Just a few to start off there, be honest with yourself. You are doing the right thing to be questioning your actions and motives in this way.:)
 
Some of these responses blow me away.

Money has nothing to do with happiness....Staying high forever on endless amounts of dope will not keep you happy.

Sooner or later you will be miserable, even when you are high.

I think every addict that gets in too deep, actually wants to get clean deep down in their heart...I know I sure hit a point where I was desperate to get clean even with endless supply. After a while it looses it's magic...and you just want the true magic of living a sober life back.
 
Well said. You don't have to be broke,
Homeless and near death to come to the realization that life on dope is no longer fun
 
bdomihizayka said:
How do you get off heroin? When money is no problem, and you live 10 minutes from the best dope in the country?
Click to expand...

Donegal said:
Honestly, if I were in your situation, and could use without consequences, and wasn't broke as fuck all the time, I wouldn't stop using. To be honest, you're in many addicts DREAM situation. Your life is about as good as it gets for an addict.
Click to expand...

Chasing the high is half the fun, is it not? You suffer for a bit, the not knowing whether you'll score, then you get it and it's good again. Highs and lows. But if you're high all the time eventually a part of you is going to get fucking bored of it no matter how good the constant high is.

Find a reason to stop and something else to live for, which is the soft answer. Admitting that actually it's all a bit shit really and you could be doing more, having more variety in life is the more honest answers.. admit that it's shit, develop an opposite conviction, and go do something else.
 
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