• H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Methadone withdrawal day 23...

HAHA my clinic didn't even believe in physical withdrawals so they definitely weren't going to offer any help with it.

I've never heard of a sliding scale therapist but I'll look into it. Withdrawals have amped up today screaming 'you fucked up!!!' So im just trying to embrace the discomfort. Nothing really else I can do. Benzos make me feel drunk and anxious at the same time so that's even worse. I wanted to try Kratom for a few days but my husband doesn't agree with me. He's probably right but I still want to lol
 
For many stress and anxiety can be such a large part of the acute withdrawal process and the body then attempting to further achieve a more lasting state of homeostasis that I'd be tempted to believe, at least to a significant degree, many of your current problems have stress at their root. Try as many things as much as possible to lower your stress levels. The literally killer thing about stress is that much of the time when we're super stressed out we don't even realize it. Whether it's because that has become our normal or we're preoccupied with thinking about what could be wrong with us or dealing with life without our DOC, who knows.

BTW Epson Salts rock! I don't think I've ever had the chance to really benefit medically from them, but just getting in a warm/hot bath or making myself foot bath is just so soothing. That kinda thing is one of those little easy to do every day things we can do to lower stress btw ;)
 
Just because you took a few oxy's doesn't mean you're back to day 1, as I'm sure you can feel for yourself...But, in my experience, whenever I took a couple opies to just get a little relief from the relentless full-body agony, I found the next week or so my w/d symptoms seemed to come on stronger. Really, just a reminder of how far you've come- you are slaying that beast.

So, hubby locked those up. Good. Maybe you should have him lock up the xtra 'done too..?
These w/d's last so fucking long Lynn. And they're such a mindfuck. You're soooo fortunate to have a man helping you, understanding, loving you through this. Let him know how much that means, apologize in advance for being a bitch, and for past transgressions- if that applies to ya'll.

The kratom...
It's expensive, rough on the tumtum, addictive, and really not in line w/ your true goal- opiate free, addiction free.
That said, it is a great tool. Try small amounts, 3~5g's and see how you feel.
If it meshes w/ your bod, then I say proceed w/ caution. Use it only once every 3-4 days, or when you need to be "on" for an event. It can be really helpful- so you can make it through a dinner party, or to some event for your kid, or if you just need to get shit done, like all the bills/mail that have piled up over the last month while you been a zombie.

Ask me anything you need to about kratom, I been fuckin w/ that for at least 10yrs.
 
Gabapentin, immodium, and exercise! I can't say that enough. Gabapentin and immodium are lifesavers for me. I'd say 300mg 3x a day gabapentin and immodium 8-20mg 2-4x a day. Seriously, it will make a world of difference. And unlike benzos (which is, believe it or not, a harder habit to kick than methadone) they aren't as addictive. I wouldn't ever ever ever take benzos for more than two weeks daily. Immodium is non prescription and legal, and incredibly cheap. Gabapentin is usually cheap too, and usually free with insurance, though it is prescription only, it is very easy to get as it isnt really recreational.

Exercise (weight training and cardio) and take multivitamins and omega supplements. Force yourself to eat, and eat healthy. No matter how hard it is, you need to do it.

I promise if you stick to this post like the bible you will feel way, way better within a couple days, and will feel like a new person within a week or two. This is a tried and true method that has saved me many hardcore withdrawals, I have been doing heroin and methadone for 6 years now, and every friend I taught this method thanked me for it endlessly.

Stay strong. Stay away from benzos and any opiates. Taper off the immodium when you feel able, same with thr gabapentin. Stay away from all stimulants, caffeine nicotine etc.
 
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I tried the Kratom two nights ago and it helped me sleep but it just didn't really last long enough to be worth it in the end. Plus it tasted like shit and made everything smell funny.

I feel rough, but it's mainly just sweats and chills with extreme fatigue. My husband leaves for for at 5am and doesn't get home until 8pm so my house is a disgusting disaster and I can't even load the dishwasher without feeling like I'm going to fall over. I don't want methadone ever again in my entire life. Ever. No matter how I feel it'll never be worth doing this again. I really thought this would be over by now- for some reason I just thought I'd be mostly done after 30 days. Now, who the hell even knows anymore.
 
RedRum I just saw your post. Unfortunately when I take gabapentin I get really depressed. I'll try Imodium though.. It comes in waves but there's usually only 2 days or less between the sickness so I'm not sure if it's paws. If it is, I can't tell the difference.
 
RedRum I just saw your post. Unfortunately when I take gabapentin I get really depressed. I'll try Imodium though.. It comes in waves but there's usually only 2 days or less between the sickness so I'm not sure if it's paws. If it is, I can't tell the difference.

I would say its PAWS but your right there isn't a difference really. What will happen over time is that 2 days of feeling normal than awful will turn into 3 days of feeling normal before having an awful day ect. At the same time the severity of the awful days will lessen as well. Then one day your brain will find permanent homeostasis. How long it takes is extremely individual but I know you will feel like a new person in 6 months.
 
I'm trying as hard as I can to not be negative but I won't make it 6 months. It's unbelievable how many things I've broken today by just throwing shit across the room. This is seriously turning me into a psychotic lunatic.
 
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I slept two nights ago. I went to the doctor and got clonidine and Ativan but it's not helping me. I think my brain is just messed up. This isn't the only thing in going through though so just not happy. I'm trying to be though. So hard.
 
I know. This is really hard and it will take few days until you get better. You've gone further than most people I know.
I've gone though this and the first 30 days are the worst. But you are tough!! No doubt about it.
Just try to hang in there a little bit longer and you'll feel better. Everyday is important and the subsequent one not as harsh.
Keep trying to go to sleep.
Wish you all the luck and success!
Erik
 
Thank you Erik.. that gives me hope. I appreciate everyone's kindness even when I'm acting horrible. I apologize, I just don't know anyone in my life that has succeeded but it has to be possible. I don't want to be like this the rest of my life. I just can't. I want to be free.
 
So it's been a few days since I've been on here I think. While most of the wd symptoms are gone for now, I think I have an actual problem.

In December 2013, I got into a pretty bad wreck and totaled the truck into a bridge. I have no memory of it and only spotty memories of a few months before the wreck and no memory at all of the month or so after. My family told me I left the ER against medical advice and even ripped out all my IVs. They said I had a bad concussion and wanted to do more tests but I hate hospitals and apparently just left.

I've been on some form of pain medication since then & now that I'm not, my neck is driving me crazy. It's not agonizing pain, but it's constant. My body is ready to sleep again but the tightness and achy nerve pain wake me up several times a night. During the day, my head pounds with no relief from any otc pain meds. I know it's caused from my neck. I'm hoping I'm just not used to pain but it's wearing on me. It never lets up..

I just want to feel okay again. I'm just miserable. If I see a doctor, I'll have to pay for a new MRI and then what? More pain meds that I've fought so hard to quit? Ugh.

Are there any non addictive medications that actually work for bulging discs? I had a small one before the wreck but God knows what it looks like now.
 
The lack of methadone will make any pain potentially worse. It happens even if you did not have that specific pain.

From what you are saying I can see you are suffering quite a bit in a key moment of your recovery and that is indeed frustrating. But I think you'll need medical support as you should not do this on your own IMO/E.

I don't know about non addictive medications that work for bulging disks but you need to do something about it. Your doctor should know if you could handle this with a mild painkiller like codeine or trams.

You won't need methadone to get better from your condition. See what are your triggers and be selective as much as you can.

I'm just thinking out loud every options I can think of based on my own experience. The entire process of kicking methadone is trick and full of obstacles as you are in a process of a recovery from a very difficult and strong medication to get off reason for which I believe you'll need a medical advice to deal with it accordingly.

Have you tried physiotherapy, the ones with low impact. It has helped me immensely.
Explore your options.

From my experience, it seemed like every part of my body and even in my mind, life was telling I could not go forward.

In my case I had done an extended orthopedic surgery years ago and even that was being a problem to the point I though I had to operate again.

Do what you have to do. You can do everything and still not use methadone. The process can be a little delayed/postponed as long as you don't use it. But there are things that can't be avoided.
We learn that there are things you can't change but others that you could. The thing is finding out if this is something you can change or not.

I wish you the best of luck! Strength and willpower. Remember that you've already been through this for a almost a month. So you know you can do it.
 
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Thanks again Erik. It's been over a month since I took any methadone. I don't really crave any drugs I just want to feel normal. Right now, I've decided to just accept the way I feel as part of this amusingly ridiculous process.

I probably won't be on here for a while- I just kind of feel like wallowing. I'll update if anything significant changes. I can't see my doctor until next month so might as well just embrace everything until then.

On a positive note, being pregnant on methadone caused retarded sugar cravings which led to weight gain that refused to be lost no matter how much I exercised or ate healthy (and I've never had this problem in my life). But, I've lost 25lbs in a month so yay for that. Preprego jeans fit again!
 
Wallowing is a symptom of addiction. . Removing yourself from BL is likely a form of isolation.

Addiction likes to drive us into isolation. Its way easier yo break us down if we are alone with no support.

I merged your threads so you have one that documents your battle and amazing progress and acomplishments.
 
^Right, If we find ourselves isolating its a really good sign that we have to make adjustments to our approach. Before we make these adjustments we should reach out to our support immediately. If we have no support then it's time to get some and clean addicts can provide some of the strongest.

A really proactive approach is the best line to take against addiction. Sitting around and waiting for things to change themselves is the worst.
 
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