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August Getting/Staying Sober/Clean Thread v. Peace and Love

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Captain.Heroin said:
I am so nervous. Still clean but very anxious.

:(
Click to expand...

Sending love, Captain. Also I want you to know that every day I see your posts they inspire me to make it another day. You are doing so well and it makes me want to get there, too.

You've got this, friend. You are an inspiration to me. I'm at day 26 clean and shooting for those nine months!

As zombie said, very proud of you. Keep it up and know that your BL team is rooting for you and is also here with arms open wide <3.

Peace and love.
 
how are you suppose to get clean (opiates) while keeping your career in tact?? And then deal with the insomnia and diarrhea and RSL that lasts for months and months along with the fatigue

I'm 26 and haven't been sober since at 17. Actually going to work, holding a job and functioning in life without opiates is near impossible and I cant even begin to fathom it!!! Sure if I had 3 months off in a rehab to adjust I'd feel a little better about it but that's not happening. But the catch 22 part is although I'm holding my job I'm really working for free because everything goes towards drugs and nothing in life improves. I been doing this so long I swear I cant do it anymore. But I cant fuk up my career ya kno? til I get popped for a drug test and it goes bye bye anyway lol but there is just so much going on in the company with movement, promotions. Then again I cant take another winter of being broke and in withdrawals.

idk just venting because its a shytty cycle as many of you know, and my dad works for the same really good company, and i've already let him down enough.

to all you guys who are sober and pushing through, you have some serious serious courage and I wish you guys nothing but that best as your an inspiration to many people who are a part of bluelight or who just come in for a look here or there.

if I can find your courage maybe I'll make it out. It's either going to get real bad or real good, because I cant do this middle ground shyt anymore. I truly believe after being a hardcore opiate addict for many years that there is just no going back in life.

peaceeee
 
Day 2 off a small Oxy habit. 60-75 mg per day for about 6 weeks. Also snorted 2 grams of H. I'm getting clean finally because I'm tired of this life. I'm signing up for the navy as soon as weed is out of my system.

I'm also quiting Kratom and nicotine soon. I'm dropping the Oxy and weed for now and tapering with my Kratom use over the next week and also lowering my nicotine intake. Usually a pack lasts me 2 days but I've managed to make it last almost 5. Granted they are pall mall 100's so they burn forever lol but in my mind I'm doing good. Good job to everybody who is staying/getting clean!!
 
I'm gonna give it a whirl. After 15 years I'm gonna give it till the end of the year to see what happens.

I'm 30 years old and a few months of being 'normal' should do me well.

The drugs will always be there.

edit:
-2 weeks off alcohol
-5 days off pills
So...5 days clean
 
one year no benzos today.

and one year, five months months no alcohol. things are short of peachy. the benzos were primarily through a prescription, and i've refused to take anything in lieu. to be off medication is a big part why i stopped taking them. mental health problems are running me ragged. my knee has been fucked up for months, so my alternative stress/anxiety relief is gone. but i'm about to give swimming a try as i continue working on my knee.

i think it's hard enough to make friends in your late 20s, and not drinking doesn't help. every other profile on okcupid talks about "craft beer." friends from high school have slowly dissipated. the few that are left our preoccupied with things like their partner, drinking, and/or kids. people tell me things like join a book club, but i don't want acquaintances. i guess making close friends is a long process, and even though that seems daunting i gotta start.

i think about drinking and soft blue pills often. it's different than when i first quit, when it was really hard. but the thinking is the same. i didn't say i was going to quit either forever. i actually said i would try drinking in extreme moderation once i hit one year no benzos, as their use was linked. the substances weren't going to kill me or any of those extreme things that alcoholics in movies say. the temptation does not present itself as taking drug that i know will ruin my life. it's always questioning if there is even a point to this and how long i'm going to keep the charade up. i've learned that the questioning doesn't lead to anything, so i'm good at just moving my thinking on. as in i already know that the answer is "no," so there's no reward to thinking about if i should. it's very likely that i am going to drink a beer sometime soon, just to see what happens. but i've been saying that since the one year mark and always just get sick of thinking about it whenever i'm considering.

there's also weed. even though it's not classified as a hard drug, i'm certainly addicted to it. i've only smoked once in the last two months. i had one other two or three month stint were i didn't smoke. it's not good for me. it's just hard to quit because the consequences are neither intense nor immediate. it makes my mental condition much worse, but abstaining doesn't fix things either.

anyway. one year no benzos. congrats to everyone who's keeping it up. or trying and not giving up.
 
Last edited:
Boupstarnm said:
I'm gonna give it a whirl. After 15 years I'm gonna give it till the end of the year to see what happens.

I'm 30 years old and a few months of being 'normal' should do me well.

The drugs will always be there.

edit:
-2 weeks off alcohol
-5 days off pills
So...5 days clean
Click to expand...


That's great way to go! Your doing very well you should be proud. I was on day 2 but I take 5 perks tonight so oh we'll. you need to make sure you have no access to the drugs at all though. That is a must!

You got this! We may slip up sometimes but you just have try as hard as you can man. Good luck and take care. If you want to PM me and talk I'm perfectly fine with that.
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
one year no benzos today.

and one year, five months months no alcohol. things are short of peachy. the benzos were primarily through a prescription, and i've refused to take anything in lieu. to be off medication is a big part why i stopped taking them. mental health problems are running me ragged. my knee has been fucked up for months, so my alternative stress/anxiety relief is gone. but i'm about to give swimming a try as i continue working on my knee.

i think it's hard enough to make friends in your late 20s, and not drinking doesn't help. every other profile on okcupid talks about "craft beer." friends from high school have slowly dissipated. the few that are left our preoccupied with things like their partner, drinking, and/or kids. people tell me things like join a book club, but i don't want acquaintances. i guess making close friends is a long process, and even though that seems daunting i gotta start.

i think about drinking and soft blue pills often. it's different than when i first quit, when it was really hard. but the thinking is the same. i didn't say i was going to quit either forever. i actually said i would try drinking in extreme moderation once i hit one year no benzos, as their use was linked. the substances were going to kill me or any of those extreme things that alcoholics in movies say. the temptation does not present itself as taking drug that i know will ruin my life. it's always questioning if there is even a point to this and how long i'm going to keep the charade up. i've learned that the questioning doesn't lead to anything, so i'm good at just moving my thinking on. as in i already know that the answer is "no," so there's no reward to thinking about if i should. it's very likely that i am going to drink a beer sometime soon, just to see what happens. but i've been saying that since the one year mark and always just get sick of thinking about it whenever i'm considering.

there's also weed. even though it's not classified as a hard drug, i'm certainly addicted to it. i've only smoked once in the last two months. i had one other two or three month stint were i didn't smoke. it's not good for me. it's just hard to quit because the consequences are neither intense nor immediate. it makes my mental condition much worse, but abstaining doesn't fix things either.

anyway. one year no benzos. congrats to everyone who's keeping it up. or trying and not giving up.
Click to expand...

Congrats :). Benzos for me were by far the hardest to give up.

I know where you're coming from with the friends thing, most friends from school have dried up except for 2 that i am still extremely close with. Work keeps me so busy and not partaking in the social norm of alcohol means i'm usually an outsider... I find I just stopped going out to meet people. I mainly stick to family and the few friends I have. One day we will make new friends, but for now I think it's still about healing yourself.

I need to quit cigarettes, that's the one habit I can't seem to kick and it's making me a bit down.

Sending good vibes everyone's way..

<3

~ Trip
 
I'm so sick of alcohol. I've been binge drinking since I was 15, although now it's just a weekend thing. Regardless, my huge consumption of alcohol mixed with my daily dose of clonazepam is really compounding my mental health problems. When I'm working I'm fine, I don't crave anything. Right when the weekend hits, though, I try and stay sober for as long as possible but the boredom becomes unbearable so I turn to drinking. In the long run it's absolutely making my anxiety worse, it's hard to tell if my drinking is more psychological (most likely), or physical which is also possible. So I feel for you guys.

On the plus side, I met a girl my age who happens to be my neighbor. So I finally have the chance to make a friend here and possibly something more.
 
nygiants1313 said:
how are you suppose to get clean (opiates) while keeping your career in tact?? And then deal with the insomnia and diarrhea and RSL that lasts for months and months along with the fatigue

I'm 26 and haven't been sober since at 17. Actually going to work, holding a job and functioning in life without opiates is near impossible and I cant even begin to fathom it!!! Sure if I had 3 months off in a rehab to adjust I'd feel a little better about it but that's not happening. But the catch 22 part is although I'm holding my job I'm really working for free because everything goes towards drugs and nothing in life improves. I been doing this so long I swear I cant do it anymore. But I cant fuk up my career ya kno? til I get popped for a drug test and it goes bye bye anyway lol but there is just so much going on in the company with movement, promotions. Then again I cant take another winter of being broke and in withdrawals.

idk just venting because its a shytty cycle as many of you know, and my dad works for the same really good company, and i've already let him down enough.

to all you guys who are sober and pushing through, you have some serious serious courage and I wish you guys nothing but that best as your an inspiration to many people who are a part of bluelight or who just come in for a look here or there.

if I can find your courage maybe I'll make it out. It's either going to get real bad or real good, because I cant do this middle ground shyt anymore. I truly believe after being a hardcore opiate addict for many years that there is just no going back in life.

peaceeee
Click to expand...

Many people need to go to treatment and focus on getting clean before going back to work. Jobs are important but many addicts lose them eventually due to using.


Speaking of jobs, I just was offered a new one in the city so I will be moving pretty soon (a few months). It is something I wanted to do for a long time but never could accomplish while using.

1 year, 3 months, 19 days for me!
 
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