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It's getting real

Poke football season is crazy down here. And yes Tebow was a Gator. It was a beautiful thing to watch him play college. Amazing player. I will be on and off to day. I'm up early because my youngest and I were meteor chasing again. No luck. But fun time. I wish I could doze back off and wake up energy filled and not take even one. I've thought about seeing how long I could go before I take one?
 
Also if I lived in Denver I would be making the most of the freedom to partake. I was never able to tolerate alcohol (but I bartended my way through college? ) so I had my weed. I have smoked again since all my issues. Not for fun as much as to see what benefits would come from it. Yes it did help my pain. Yes it did help my anxiety. But alas..... I live in the deep south. The Baptists are not going to ever let it become legal here
 
Day two and I made it until 10am before I took my med. Doesn't sound like a big deal but to me it was huge!
 
Rural: You are doing very well!! Your attitude of waiting as long as you could before taking your allotted pill shows me that you want this very much! I did successfully make it through the night with only 1 morphine pill, woke up at 5:45am and took my first oxy. The past couple of weeks or so, I have taken my second one between 10 and 11am, and then the third one around 4pm. I am dog sitting today, and that really raises my spirits, so I am going to take a cue from you, and see how long I can go before taking pill #2. I have taken oxy #3 off the table altogether for today. I will also be on and off BL today, as I take the dog for short walks, as it is warming up quickly. I also have to visit a woman I met at a plant nursery. She has some plants that are doing so well they are taking over her yard, so she told me I can come and dig some up for my yard, instead of paying high prices at the store. The are lily of the valley, and for some reason mine die out after about 3-5 years, so I am ready to re-populate the spot I have for them. As for marijuana being useful for pain, for cancer patients who have lost their appetites, for PTSD, depression, anxiety, many people have benefited from it. Edibles are huge here, but a law regarding their packaging or the way they look will have an impact on that part of the market. Lawmakers want to be sure kids don't mistake them for regular candy and cookies. As for the Baptists... we were in our Texas home no more than three days, the house was only partially unpacked, and we received a visit from a couple of women and their children, welcoming us to the community. They were very kind, but my spiritual beliefs are different than Baptist, so I did not have further contact. Well, listen, I am off to visit the plant lady, and will not even take oxy #2 with me. Will check in later, my Southern friend!
 
Sounds like a plan Poke. Wysteria is my arch nemisis. It's beautiful but would literally take over my yard and house if I let it. I'm not going to lie..... feeling a little aggression today. May just be the after effects of the xanax. I hope.
 
KUDOS U2 =D I'm pulling for both of you to reach your goals!

I don't want to be a 3rd wheel in your conversations, so tell me to go away if you want. Otherwise, it's good to type to both of you. I've found few here that I feel a connection with.

Weed (I've never tried in any form) I would be willing to try the strains that are for pain. I just don't need anything to make me crave snacking any more than I already do! I was put on BC very prematurely in life to treat period pain. I gained (I thought) too much weight. I had gastric bypass and successfully lost the weight (kept it off) but the surgery ruined my life. Well, the bypass compounded with undiagnosed endometriosis (stage 4).

OT...My grilled chicken didn't digest last night. I choked on reflux all night and still feel it "stuck" there today. Aggression? You bet. I have a list (long) of GYNs that I fantasize about ripping off their heads and shitting down their throats. ALL roads led to HERE...It didn't have to be this way. Most days I can't eat, sleep or poop. Folks take those bodily functions for granted.

I FEAR starting a regimen of Oxycodone, after reading other's experience (and urban legend). It's the only med trial in PM that I can tolerate thus far. I am weary from lifelong pain treated basically with Darvocet. (wish I had access still)

Poke...Dogs are definitely nature's AD! We've always had Dals, named Dixie, Hotty and Toddy. Guess which SEC is my alma mater? Yea, football is a religion here...too much so, sometimes IMO. My family cares more about the EGG BOWL than getting our family together for Thanksgiving. :\

Y'all try to enjoy your day/weekend. I love flowers, too. I maintained the most beautiful arbor/arch of Wisteria for many years. It required CONSTANT LABOR (not fun). I took a chain saw and Round Up to it 2 summers ago. I miss the beauty, but not the prolific aggression.
 
Have many Ole Miss fans Dix. I will sum up today in one word.... shitty. It's like my daughter has laid in wait for mom to quit her habit or rather take control of her like and goes slap fucking rip my heart stupid. She took my baby. Her son that I've had 24/7 since his birth. Even dragging my iv pole around after brain surgery. She has her own little issues and woke being a hung over bitch. Today was not a good day for me to deal with her shit. Maybe all this bawling will purge me. I never took a second but good Lord did I want to
 
I'm so sorry, doll baby. Just the thought of what you've already been through with brain surgeries, rehab/recovery makes me weep. I cannot bear the thought of your heart broken like this. I'm here....PURGE AWAY.
 
Rural: I am so sorry to hear your daughter took your grandson today. :( I hope you two can call a truce so that the child can be happy. Family relationships can surely mess with the best intentions to get clean. That is why I stopped my taper, and put it on hold... having family here all summer was just too stressful, emotionally and physically to deal with getting clean. I hear what you mean now when you mentioned earlier that aggression was a feeling you had today. I am so proud of you for not taking the second pill... you are strong!! You got this!! Your attitude is admirable!

I did mediocre today... I was successful in not taking my third oxy, but after taking the one morphine, a couple hours later I took the second. UGGGGH! It is like I can give up one or the other... but, tomorrow is another day. Again, my goal is 2 oxy, 1 morphine. I hope you sleep well, and that tomorrow is a better day, emotionally.
 
I needed the pep talk Poke. I love our girls but oh that little boy! After I just got the mindset to not worry or fret during a very long last night bam! she calls this morning to see if we want him tonight. Well duh! He's what keeps me sane. It's exhausting at times to chase him all day but the payoff of those baby snuggles is so worth it. He comforts me. It's 10:53 am cst here. I pill in and eyeing the bottle already. Ugh. Wouldn't it be easier to take the damn rest or the majority and try this whole cold turkey thing? I seriously doubt I do but today I'm definitely wanting more than one. Have a good day. Will check on y'all later in the day
 
DixiChik said:
I'm so sorry, doll baby. Just the thought of what you've already been through with brain surgeries, rehab/recovery makes me weep. I cannot bear the thought of your heart broken like this. I'm here....PURGE AWAY.
Click to expand...

Today shall be better. My whackadoodle child realized finding a real baby sitter was hard. I'm going to get my boy in a few :-)
 
DixiChik said:
KUDOS U2 =D I'm pulling for both of you to reach your goals!

I don't want to be a 3rd wheel in your conversations, so tell me to go away if you want. Otherwise, it's good to type to both of you. I've found few here that I feel a connection with.

Weed (I've never tried in any form) I would be willing to try the strains that are for pain. I just don't need anything to make me crave snacking any more than I already do! I was put on BC very prematurely in life to treat period pain. I gained (I thought) too much weight. I had gastric bypass and successfully lost the weight (kept it off) but the surgery ruined my life. Well, the bypass compounded with undiagnosed endometriosis (stage 4).

OT...My grilled chicken didn't digest last night. I choked on reflux all night and still feel it "stuck" there today. Aggression? You bet. I have a list (long) of GYNs that I fantasize about ripping off their heads and shitting down their throats. ALL roads led to HERE...It didn't have to be this way. Most days I can't eat, sleep or poop. Folks take those bodily functions for granted.

I FEAR starting a regimen of Oxycodone, after reading other's experience (and urban legend). It's the only med trial in PM that I can tolerate thus far. I am weary from lifelong pain treated basically with Darvocet. (wish I had access still)

Poke...Dogs are definitely nature's AD! We've always had Dals, named Dixie, Hotty and Toddy. Guess which SEC is my alma mater? Yea, football is a religion here...too much so, sometimes IMO. My family cares more about the EGG BOWL than getting our family together for Thanksgiving. :\

Y'all try to enjoy your day/weekend. I love flowers, too. I maintained the most beautiful arbor/arch of Wisteria for many years. It required CONSTANT LABOR (not fun). I took a chain saw and Round Up to it 2 summers ago. I miss the beauty, but not the prolific aggression.
Click to expand...

Wisteria is nothing but kudzu with pretty flowers lol
 
HI Southern Gals: Happy Saturday!!! I don't know where to start! Rural, what a blessing you get your baby boy again... in fact, you may have him with you already. God forbid my daughter ever read this, but you are right... our baby boys, my sons specifically, I love them so much to this day! They had me wrapped around their little fingers from day one. Although they are now both married and I don't see them nearly as much, they are still respectful and loving in their communication with me. Hug that little boy!!

Today, I am babysitting my little granddaughter. My daughter and hubby are going to the mountains to celebrate their anniversary. Although I feel a bit lethargic when I cut back on my oxy, I will still enjoy spending today and tomorrow morning with her... she is a cutie!! I already had a tummy ache today from cutting back yesterday from 3 to 2 oxy. But today, I am sticking to only the two oxy, and 1 morphine. Rural, it is your choice to go cold turkey, but my experience is that weaning or tapering helps a lot with the physical w/d symptoms. My blood pressure sky rockets when I cold turkey... I may have told you about my experience already. Did you mention in an early post that you sometimes run out early and do go c.t. for a week or so??? Or do you keep enough back so that you are somewhat ok?? I am here to support you no matter how you do this, when you do this, or how often you do this!!! It is a process... not an event.

Wisteria??? I am not familiar with it, other than the name. It sounds nasty, if it is anything like kudzu!! I had to return to the plant lady's house today, since she wasn't home yesterday. She gave me the lily of the valleys, some seeds to a beautiful red poppy flower (no, not for the opium, for the decorative value, lol), some ice plant, and a couple of shoots of various others. It is brutally hot today, should reach 96 degrees, so I have to wrap the plants in moist paper towel until I get to plant them tomorrow evening. Anyway, I like our little group on this thread.

Dixie: I am checking in to make sure I understand you... it sounds like you are not an addict, but afraid of becoming one. How best can I be of support to you?
 
Hey Y'all...Just touching base to let you 2 ladies know I'm thinking of you today. RG, I'm so happy the grandbaby drama was short-lived. Poke, It makes me smile to hear you talk about your grand little one, too. Children (especially nieces, nephews, and grands) are such a blessing. We weren't able to conceive due to endo/TAH, but always wanted children. I practically raised my 2 nieces, and was a big part of the remaining nieces and nephews. I miss those days since they've graduated college, married and started their own families. Actually, as I think about it. My great nephew had his first child...WOW, I'm not a Grand but I'm a great, great aunt.8( I've not yet seen the newest in person, because they live a long distance away. She's a cutie.

Oh, Poke, the flowers we could share...I started mine from my uncle's plant shares. He is now deceased, but has left a legacy of Zinnias, Sunflowers, Black-Eyed Susans, Cannas, Daylillies, Four O'clocks, Cleomes, even Muscadine vines. I would love to share seeds with you and of course plant divisions on the tubers. Too bad we don't live closer.

I could get to RG's place in maybe 6 hours driving. Right now, I could use a weekend that included some good gulf oysters. I could lose myself in some of the many flea markets down near Orange Beach, too. I've got to do something to get back my "give a shit". My strong will and determination are my survival skills. I've lost hope since enrolling in PM. There seems to be no pain med that I can either a.) tolerate b.) get relief without GI issues c.) afford in ER version.

Yes, Poke...this whole PM thing scares me. I won't clog RG's thread with my waste, but you can read my posts if you want. It's way complicated and there are no easy answers.

Ladies, stay strong in your convictions. If tapering, quitting is what you feel you need to do, I support your efforts. RG...Melatonin perhaps would settle your nerves?
 
Poke wisteria is a gorgeous vine that smells heavenly when it blooms but it very much mimics kudzu. My yard is like a southern botanical garden. Azalea magnolia gardenia camelias daffodils yada yada. And we have every fruit tree known to man. Blessing and a curse. Now back on track here. I not only took an extra, I took two. I want a good day with the grand. As far as me and cold turkey... negative. Have not not taken at least one pill a day since 2012. But I am down to such a low dose. I know have ten left. The contemplation begins....
 
Girl I am counting the days until September. We will be Apalachicola bound to get oysters. Since you are familiar with the Redneck Riviera I wanted to know how long since you've been. It's crazy! Since The Wharf and this No Shoes Nation Kenny Chesney shit.. ..damn it makes me miss the Jimmy Buffet Margarittaville days
 
Hey RG...We passed through Pensacola in 2009, headed to/from St. Pete. It wasn't a "fun" trip let's say, due to family obligations. We stopped in Orange Beach (on our return) long enough to eat and stretch our legs. We were even pissed off at each other, just tired and trying to drive straight through.

I saw SO MANY indoor flea markets, I was salivating. I vowed we'd go back there for a long weekend, but haven't.

All of that area had changed MUCH since our 2001 trip down to Destin/Ft. Walton. I'd rather be nibbling on sponge cake soaked in Tequila sauce!

:X ROAR....WTF is happening? My content is getting lost. I "copied"...Let's see if it will paste.

All of that area had changed MUCH since our 2001 trip down to Destin/Ft. Walton. I'd rather be nibbling on sponge cake soaked in Tequila sauce!

DOUBLE FUCKING ROAR...I hate this! There's a "heart" after "sauce!" followed by "I'm a Buffet gal, born and bred. I'm NO fan of KC, unless it's the 70's version with the SUNSHINE BAND!
It's the Chesney voodoo shit hitting my post!?!
 
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Right on Rural! You go! PS the immodium not only helps the brown river but also is an opiate that activates in your gut receptors - and in high doses it can also relieve a lot of general malaise that withdrawal creates. So double up if you want, just don't take a ton of them. Gatorade is your best bud. HAPPY TV! Music sounds amazing once you are clean off opiates. Get out and sit on your porch if you can. Stock up on broth and soup. You'll be halfway there before you know it. Try to laugh. Remember it's only temporary. Get mad at your pills. Real mad! This is a great thing you are doing for your family and most importantly, you!
 
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