FRIEDbrain,100% tolerance to all gabaergics/sleep aids, thinking of killing myself

[smackydowners]

and yeah, good food and exercise will help you recover, but the only thing that will reall help is a long break from GABAcergics.

dude, i say this out of love....
i think convincing yourself that you will always need sleepers is your inner addict speaking. why are you so special that your body doesnt sleep if you treat it properly? have you ever treated your body properly?

your little story reminds me so much of mine, but im 3 months clean from everything and sleeping like a normalish person now. ive got such an appreciation for zzz's now!

 

[Mad Dash]

running, push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups are free.

Well they both are in different way. Weight lifting naturally raises you testosterone levels and that should help your whole body feel better/more regulated. Cardio of course gets that "runners high" which is enorphins being released. I have been on Valium for almost a year now only 10 mg / day and I can go off it for a week and have no WD. My anxiety suffers but that is because I have anxiety lol, Valium suppresses it. But what I am saying is I do both and eat healthy too, it has kept me physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit.

 

[dognasher]

I read your other thread, and I do agree with the people who are voting medical detox, to an extent, but first I think you should talk to a doc about starting a taper, now. Your brain with totally recover! I was on a shitload of benzos for a long time, and I did do a medical detox, but I actually think it's a waste of money because with long acting benzos like some of the ones you are on, the withdrawal lasts a really long time and most medical detoxes are woefully unprepared to deal with benzo and GABA type drug withdrawal. Also, stay away from Methadone, pls. It's a bitch to withdraw off of and sounds like you don't need that shit on top of this shit.

TBH, it's no wonder you are suicidal, with that many drugs cruising around in your system - and benzos are known to manifest suicidal ideation after long periods of abuse. They really fuck with your brain. I am a runner too and I really think exercise can be your friend right now so you are in good shape when the hard part comes and you are in the final stretch of getting off them. Basically your brain has forgotten how to put itself to sleep. I think benzo and other trank withdrawal is worse than opiate withdrawal - so at least you don't have to do both at once.

It's really hard to trick your brain back into being able to sleep on it's own - but it can be done. I have had AWFUL insomnia since I was a teenager and I feel like in the long run benzos made it way worse.

Good luck - you can do it! It will be hard but you will be FREE of PILLS! I can't tell you how rad that feels!

 

[pbuilder]

Well they both are in different way. Weight lifting naturally raises you testosterone levels and that should help your whole body feel better/more regulated. Cardio of course gets that "runners high" which is enorphins being released. I have been on Valium for almost a year now only 10 mg / day and I can go off it for a week and have no WD. My anxiety suffers but that is because I have anxiety lol, Valium suppresses it. But what I am saying is I do both and eat healthy too, it has kept me physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit.

Valium withdrawal virtually doesn't start until 1 week + and peaks around 3 weeks. This is because of the 100-200hr half life.

Benzos should never be used daily for longer then a week or two. Benzo withdrawal will always occur and is awful.

 

[Mad Dash]

Valium withdrawal virtually doesn't start until 1 week + and peaks around 3 weeks. This is because of the 100-200hr half life.

Benzos should never be used daily for longer then a week or two. Benzo withdrawal will always occur and is awful.

Well, that sucks, because unless they invent something else I will be on it the rest of my life. I was suicidal for a long time after coming back from Afghanistan, I tried drinking myself to death, tried ODing on H, and then I tried ODing on Oxy. But I woke up every time. It wasn't until they got me on benzos that those feelings went away. And I mean, THAT day. Ever since I was in the psych ward they couldn't believe it. I was already on bupe, viibryd, hydroxyzine, and a million other things they tried. Then in the midst of a VIOLENT panic attack they IMed 2 mg ativan and everything changed. All of the psych docs were blown away, all of a sudden I was better. SO they tried me on Valium daily and it changed my life. I am the opposite of suicidal now. And have been for almost a year now. They tried switching me to gabapentin and the suicide thoughts came right back. So I am at a loss. I don't know what is better, lifetime of benzos or suicide. Well yes I do actually, lol, Valium for life it is!

 

[SKR]

This may come across as tough love but I think you need it.

If you are not exercising or doing at least some physical exercise that gets your heart rate up and breathing heavily and sweating for at least a 1/2 hour then you are not serious about getting sleep in the evenings. I cannot stress this enough, you must get your body tired so you must exercise, there are no two ways about this.

You also would benefit from an anti-depressant that is geared toward controlling anxiety. I started one myself (sertraline), and apart from the drowsiness that comes from the drug (which you probably won't feel) it totally arrested anxiety....which means when I lay down to go to sleep and my mind tries to worry about whether I am going to actually get some sleep those thoughts cannot manifest themselves into that physical anxiety feeling that hits you in the stomach - preventing any chance of sleep.

Before I started sertraline, my anxiety would have me tossing and turning, I would worry myself sick then I would break out in a sweat and not sleep at all. I am getting much better sleep these days because my anxiety is under control. I wrecked my sleep because of all the drugs I was taking (Lyrica, endep, oxycontin/done, valium), which even though I was prescribed them all for pain, which apart from the oxy, did nothing to ease pain but did make me drowsy enough to get to sleep so I remained on them under the supervision of my doctor, she would rather I take Lyrica and Endep than have me on valium and other Benzos which suited me just fine. Thanks to sertraline I have tapered off the Endep and now I'm starting to taper down off the Lyrica too. I used to sleep like a rock and if I woke up through the night I could roll over and sleep for hours more. I want that back and I know once I get off all these drugs and I continue to exercise I will get my sleep back. I get a solid 5 - 6 hours a night now which is great for me, and every 2nd or third night I sleep even better because I am exhausted from little sleep the days before.

Along with exercise your diet may need attention (Most of us eat poorly), diet contributes to our physical and mental health more than we know, and until you make these changes you won't believe how much different your mind and body behaves. Look at your fat and sugar intake, and give up stimulants like caffeine. Laying in bed reading a book is the best way for me to get tired - I must read an actual book too not a computer screen, reading pages on a screen gets me wired, reading pages of a book gets me tired...nothing better than nodding off over a book, you simply roll over put the book down and switch off your reading lamp and off to sleep you go!

I hope you heed peoples advice regarding diet and exercise because these are the two most important pieces of advice when it comes to restoring sleep.

Good Luck!

 

[I B Profane]

Please don't kill yourself your brain can always repair itself, neuroplasticity is an amazing thing. Lots of people don't really realize how permanent suicide is, until you've lost friends to it. Please, please do not put your friends and family through this grief. Hell, I'm just a random stranger on the Internet, and I feel strongly enough about this to reach out.

Things can and will get better. I'd recommend speaking with a trained mental health professional. That is, ultimately their job - to help people who are on the brink of suicide get back to their real selves. If the suicidal thoughts get really intense, consider calling the National Suicide Hotline - these folks are very empathetic and very helpful in a lot of cases. Hang in there man, it really does get better

 

[DaveTripper]

Why are you so fixated on the possibility that your brain won't heal itself? I'd say it is WAY more likely that it WOULD heal itself (after being off of most of these drugs for a while) than it wouldn't. It's not like you've suffered extreme brain damage. Even if you had, there's no way you could say you did because you haven't gone to a doctor and gotten your brain checked out in the first place.

In the end.. do not kill yourself. This problem is SO temporary if only YOU knew it. The human body needs sleep. Once you're off the drugs and actively doing things to tire your body/mind out, your body will allow you to sleep.

 

[kvsouth69]

I have lived life with the worst chronic insomnia you can imagine (until I read yours). Trust me, I know how miserable it is,but it's not worth killing yourself over, please.If you need someone talk to who has/is been there, pm me. I'd be happy to talk to you. Your life is special--you need to know that. And we all have our own harships. And none of them are easy. But that's life and I have finally accepted it ( I tried suicide twice, died once and by a miracle was revived, and the second story is a miracle in its own).So I know there's reason for me to be here, just like you.
everyone is just as important as the next person to make the world go around.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Hey main NO JOKE, you need to get to an emergency detox center right away. You made the right choice in understanding that you can not continue this way but now you need to understand that you are done. Detox then rehab, then maybe you can consider some kind of maintenance program. Please don't kill yourself over this. It can be fixed, you don't want to die for something that is temporary and put the people that care about you through that. I have thought about and tried it myself. PTSD and addiction don't go hand in hand, but I am learning ways to deal with it. You need to get help, please go NOW and go get help!

Do this. Good luck, and stay safe.

I also had bad insomnia but exercising daily, avoiding caffeine after 12PM, and getting on a better sleep cycle helped get rid of it.

 

[ovo1024]

I'm sorry but I just don't believe you took 180mg of klonopin at a time especially with all that lunesta. Even if they were 2mg Kpins that's 90 pills at once. Come on dude.

 

[ScotchMist]

Moved - Other Drugs >>>> The Dark Side

 

[swilow]

i just edited my second post and added a TLDR, for clarity and brevity. thank you to everyone who read and who will read.



does healthy food and exercise help heal the gabaergic system? as soon as i get another a little more money im going back into exercise. if nothing else itll at least help with sleep and mood, and help tire me out naturally.

Hey dude. I read your story. I really feel for you.

Its hard to say what food or activity will help heal GABAergic system. One thing that really won't is more GABAergics. Tolerance develops on therepeutic doses of benzo's, it is unavoidable- the gaba system is pretty sensitive to abuse. I think you need to try a detox, in a safe environment, to get your tolerance down. That or try and put up with insane insomnia for a period; it will get better. The brain is always trying to maintain homestasis, and can certainly recover.

I was a benzo an opiate addict. I've quit both vices now, but I do have issues with sleeping. If I didn't smoke weed, I would sleep about 4 hours a night. As it stands, I smoke most nights before bed and sleep a good 7 hours. I hate to suggest another drug, but its helped me. You could use it a little only for sleep and reduce your GABAergic tolerance.

Sex or jerking off helps too So does meditation....

Be well my friend, I will be sending you positive thoughts. I believe you can most certainly solve this problem without killing yourself.