I tried NA/AA and really like tried to immerse myself in it and do everything as the people and my sponsor said. I lasted about 9 months where I was clean - no drugs, no drinking, no weed, etc. I felt more miserable during that time as I'd always get ear aches and head aches.
The only thing that really kept me off d was methadone but like after a few months it didn't have the same effect as it did like the first two months even if i increased dosage which i did only when it was absolutely necessary. i kept it at 70 mgs for like a year till i decided i wanted to get off the stuff. those first couple months though were great like methadone would give me almost an anti-depressant effect where i'd be super happy and productive at work and at my home life. I've been on/off methadone like 3 seperate times and each time I'd do great the first few months, then I'd get kind of use to the effect but still wouldn't do d, then eventually I'd dabble on weekends with the d... I got off methadone about a month ago by tapering myself down from 70mg down to like 5 mg over the course of about 2 months - going down 1 mg a day about and had every intention to switch to subs. I didn't take methadone for at least 3-4 days before my appointment with the sub doctor and did d about 48 hours before the appointment so my wds were minimal and since d has a way shorter half life so i figured most would be out of my system within 2 days. At the appointment, they piss tested me and i came up negative for methadone but positive for morphine - prolly due to the d i did like 2 days before hand. I was surprised that I came up negative for methadone though since I just took some a few days before and the half life is really long but the nurse said it was because their test is only for 300 nanograms or more so that was the most likely reason. anyway, they gave me a 4 mg subutex, so no nalaxone, and i felt fine. However, they decided to give me another 4 mg subutex like 2 hours later and i almost immediately broke out into the worst sweats I had in my life and was like all shakey, my vision blurry, just awful feeling overall. Eventually, the doc rxd me some subs and i took an uber home since i felt like there was no way i could drive. I slept like for maybe 30 mins during the car ride home as i felt that experience literally drained all my energy. However, I came home and couldn't sleep for like 2 more days and that was after already getting no sleep for like 2 days prior to my appointment. After like 4 days of no sleeping and no eating for nearly 4 days (2 days prior to appointment and about 1.5 day after i took the subutex) i relented and copped.. felt great and slept for like 20 hours.. unfortunately, i'm back on the d and have to do at least 2 bags of raw a day so its not the most expensive habit but its still annoying. i have a good job and i can afford it but i do wish there was like something besides subs and methadone or at least a doc that could rx methadone... fucking harrison act won't allow docs to rx opiates for maintenance = /
the person who actually got me started on opiates was my family doctor. i got into a bad car wreck when i was like 18/19 (my friend was drunk and crashed into a construction crane - unknown to me as he is a heavy drinker so i couldnt really tell or smell it on him) and my doc rx'd me 45 vic 7.5's with like 6 refills on each bottle and the instructions i believe were take 1 every 4-6 hours as needed. i wasnt into opiates at the time and the few times i taken them before they just made me feel naseous and puke. however, i got use to them pretty quickly even just taking 1-2 a day as needed got my dependence up pretty damn quick. before i knew it i was taking 2, then like 3-4, then even as many as 6-7 a day. it wasn't that bad though because i actually didnt get wds if i stopped for a few days. one of my friends in college worked as like a pharm tech at a lil mom and pop pharmacy and would constantly divert meds - mainly opanas and dilaudids. anyway, he got a hold of some liquid hydromoph and wanted to shoot me up with it. this guy was my best friend and even though i was really against it after he described how i would feel i relented. i experienced the fantastic rush that comes with iv hydromorph but yea i mean it was downhill from there... about half a year later i was snorting d and about a year or two after that i switched to iv dope... even when i would just snort d i wouldnt get that bad wds but once i switched to iv its a whole different ball game.
