SirTophamHat
Bluelighter
I woke up today in utter misery and rode out the whole day feeling like shit. My homie and I eventually said we couldn't take it anymore and picked up some Roxi 30's.. I dosed 2 of em within an hour or so (first dose about 3 hours ago). One up the schnoz and one down the gullet. The difference between how I feel now between how I felt like 6 hours ago is ridiculous. I gotta get offa this shit ASAP. Seriously, I've been through enough withdrawals in the last month or two, I'm ready to say fuckit and kick the habit. Almost made it three days on this one. I know once I get past the first 3-5 days I'll be good, it's just so easy to cave when you feel like complete shit.
Oh well, I feel pretty great right now. I took 100mg diphenhydramine before taking a quick shower, and now I'm doing some chores. It's funny, I could barely move a muscle this morning. Finally picked up some weed today for the first time in 2 weeks (wtf!). Gonna finally get my toke on while watching South Park, DBZ, and movies later. I have another half a Roxi 30 too, I'm not sure if I wanna do that tonight or not (probably will). And I've got ice cream in the freezer that's ready to be chowed down on. Should be a relaxing evening. Of course it's only the calm before the storm that is the next few days.Sighh.. Fuck opiates, so ready to be done with this.
Good luck man. Kicking any habit that is rewarding (at least initially) is tough. I had 75oz, basically a 6pack of beer in order to fall asleep today. And sadly, that's more often than not the norm for me about half of the week... I can go five days without booze if I have to, but its very tough. I need to get off it for my own good before I ruin my life with dependency.
Right now my brain is mush. I got four hours of sleep, woke up and chugged a ton of water, and then went to my friends house where he gave me a glass of pod tea and 5 giganthemums for later. Then I took my regular 5mg of valium and an EC stack to make sure I stay awake at work tonight.
The thing is... I'm hungover, opiated, and stimulated all at once. I can't think for shit and feel severely depressed despite the morphine and its friends.
It's a good thing my job can be done by a well trained monkey because otherwise I'm not sure I'd be functional enough to be here.
I'm surprised I can even type this message, nothing I just wrote makes any sense to me.... Fuck. Time to listen to the grateful dead and clear my mind.