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Whats your story?

Elvis'LittleHelper

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 18, 2015
Messages
39
Location
Scotland
hi guys, like most people this site helped me a lot and answered my questions! i hope to (over time) become an active member.
Let me know how you got here and why u joined Bluelight!
 
Hey ELH, welcome to Bluelight.

I came here to get some help doing a CWE, then started posting in Steroid Discussion, before getting more involved in other parts of Bluelight.
 
Was looking to get some RCs cause i live in countryside now and find it hard to get in big town to see certain people and every time i googled a type of RC or even a vender this forum came up so you prob saved me a bit of money from being ripped off and finding me a decent product.
 
Woman abused, oxycodone, Xanax and sometimes alcohol addict here who needs surgery ASAP and is paranoid half to death because I'm afraid I will be going through with wds during the surgery which definitely WONT be good. Sorry, nice to meet you and glad you joined:). I'd been checking this site out for SO long before I finally did and am so happy I did since the support and advise on here is wonderful<3!!!
 
Thanks, I'm just totally at a loss right now as for what to do:(. I tried the honesty factor and that got me basically no where so now I'm trying to figure out what to do next.
 
Hi. I found BL on google searches. just about everytime I had a question there was BL again. I was a creeper for awhile then decided to join.I am glad I did. Now I can give my 2 cents worth.My questions were usually about the pain meds I take and how to either poteniate them, cwe or the best way to cut down.I'm at the point where I need 20 times my reg dose to feel ne thing and i wanna get my tolerance back down to where it was.I can't find a thread that exactly tells me how..I mean does taper work? complete ct isn't an issue. I am a weak person and pain hurts me.How long do i have to take lower doses? What's the best way to start?.I am a firm believer in Kratom, but will this keep my tolerance high?...I just need to sit down with 1 of u experts and talk awhile. I don't know if a post will cover all my questions and fears.
 
I should've explained since you didn't read my own thread and my brain feels I a "fog". I got a new dr and was honest with him about how much I take (after he told me he was just going to take me off of them and place me on 3 other strong (but not opiate meds). He then agreed to taper a 2 year 100 plus mg addiction with 32 pills. It didn't work out so well and I felt like such a loser (I'm called it all the time anyway and that's "nice words compared to all else and the physical abuse). I then saw my surgeon who said that opiates are my best "bet" and he then overruled my new dr and wrote out a script for 30 more. But that was Friday, my surgery is Tuesday and then basically they are to last me until I see him the following Monday. He gave me my prescribed dose (and I can't and don't blame him), 30 mgs a day but I'm still withdrawing since my body was used to so much more. I want to add (not that it matter since I don't judge anyone and have yet to encounter a single person on here who's judged me (only helped even if just by kind words) that I've never bought any. I never had to since my sister takes the same dose I do but gets 3 times the amount and also is prescribed a mass ton of methadone (which as is known prevents her from needing the oxys). The oddity? I switched to her dr and he had no idea she and I are sister (our ages are way off....14 years...I was the unexpected "baby" of the family) yet he just wanted to cut me off of everything including my prescribed Xanax (which all know can kill you). I'm sorry if this message is less then perfect. I'm just so scared and don't know what to do since postponing this surgery could mean losing my leg. Up until about 6 months ago I was an avid speed walker and runner, always ate healthy yet destroyed my body by using other things.
 
Hi. I found BL on google searches. just about everytime I had a question there was BL again. I was a creeper for awhile then decided to join.I am glad I did. Now I can give my 2 cents worth.My questions were usually about the pain meds I take and how to either poteniate them, cwe or the best way to cut down.I'm at the point where I need 20 times my reg dose to feel ne thing and i wanna get my tolerance back down to where it was.I can't find a thread that exactly tells me how..I mean does taper work? complete ct isn't an issue. I am a weak person and pain hurts me.How long do i have to take lower doses? What's the best way to start?.I am a firm believer in Kratom, but will this keep my tolerance high?...I just need to sit down with 1 of u experts and talk awhile. I don't know if a post will cover all my questions and fears.
I'm in the same exact "boat". As I wrote I never bought them but was prescribed them plus got more each month by my sister. I've heard Kraton works for wds (I can't say I know factually though since I've never tried it) and I also need pain meds for legit pain issues but abused them and became an addict of them. They now rule me, I have no control. I'm also too weak to cold turkey plus it'd be dangerous for me since even though I'm not old (not that only old people get it) but I have high blood pressure that's not controlled well at this point. Tapering works for some, it didn't for me since I just didn't want to be sick at all. My dose of 100 plus doesn't even make me feel great anymore but rather just makes me "normal". Needing surgery while enduring wds also isn't going t be fun either. I've heard clonidine works well but not if you have really low blood pressure as it can actually then potentially kill you. I'm wondering if anyone knows anything on that. Does it really work? I've read different things all over. Anyway my thread is on the dark side forum....I got ALOT of GREAT ideas on how to lower your dose. Tons actually. My "story" is horrific though so be prepared for that....feel free to skim through though and look at some of the advise I got. What works for some may not for all, hopefully something there works for you. Lots of love and luck as I know how hard it is<3
 
And since your new and may not know just click on my name. It will say view recent threads and I only have one. I had many say to just go cold turkey but that's not an option for me right now. But I also got so many different ideas to at least try. The people on here are just simply fantastic. So kind, caring and loving.
 
Hi so sorry for late reply. I'm certainly not an expert but would seriously recommend talking to one. Keep up to date with your surgeon, if he's aware and you're 100% honest with him, he'll what to do and what the next forward is. Yes it's a problem that they don't give enough for your to taper off. Your surgery is tomorrow so if you speak to the surgeon or even a nurse tomorrow they'll hopefully be able to sort you out. Best regards
Elvis

Ps let me know how you get on
 
The main thing is that your get your surgery. If you continue to be 100% honest which I know you have been, (even though it's never helped) I'm sure if they think your wds interfere or endanger you they will cancel the op, inf they do this I'm pretty sure they will prioritise your recovery. Again I'm no expert but just here to help you emotionally
 
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Hello. I just joined, mainly looking for life advice as well as having specific questions. I'm a high school freshman who's always had excellent grades despite an aversion to hard work. Halfway through this year I met my current best friend. He was more of a slacker with bad grades but he was honestly the only friend I felt was real. He introduced me to MJ and sort of lead me into his lifestyle. Soon after I tried other things but am trying to cut down on them. My grades started to go down but I think I brought them back up to straight As for the end if the year. Now it is summer and I have some extra cash and am debating on trying something new but I feel like I may be too young and should possibly consider going back to a "healthy" lifestyle... Any thoughts on this? (Sorry for the long post)
 
Hello. I just joined, mainly looking for life advice as well as having specific questions. I'm a high school freshman who's always had excellent grades despite an aversion to hard work. Halfway through this year I met my current best friend. He was more of a slacker with bad grades but he was honestly the only friend I felt was real. He introduced me to MJ and sort of lead me into his lifestyle. Soon after I tried other things but am trying to cut down on them. My grades started to go down but I think I brought them back up to straight As for the end if the year. Now it is summer and I have some extra cash and am debating on trying something new but I feel like I may be too young and should possibly consider going back to a "healthy" lifestyle... Any thoughts on this? (Sorry for the long post)[/QUOTE

Hey man, I'm young, 18 and was similar to you in regards of being lazy, but doing well in school. You sought comfort in a close friend, but I chose a path of loneliness which can also cause you do pick up certain 'habits' which you mind if I asked what you take? I'm currently trying to quit and get my social life back in order, I would suggest meeting good people, by I know that's MUCH easier said than done. Is there anyone you know who you could hang around with more?
 
Sorry for my late response and I'm hoping you've still remained a "member". I did have the surgery and was completely honest yet my dose got cut even more. Now? I'm just sick and in pain without knowing if the surgery (a neurostimulator implant) was a success or not since basically all I do is overtake all the other meds I was given (neurontin, baclofen, hydroxyzine and then also take Xanax and an extremely low now dose of oxycodone (down from 100 plus mgs per day to around 15-20....this is the "place" for me as I can be honest. I've even tried drinking alcohol again a ton but nothing stays down. Honesty within all the physicians I see as well as my surgeon didn't do shit. Now? I'm not sure what to do. I'm scared as all hell and won't lie. I have 3 methadone and 12 (5mg) oxycodones left. Alls I keep thinking is "should I just check myself into a psych ward now before the inevitable full blown wds come?" Some have said yes, others "don't do it" and no matter what your background may be (mine is nursing) you just don't know until your in that deep, dark place. I just hope to choose wisely and before my time runs out. Sorry for the "vent". Lots of love always to all my blue light friends<3
 
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