anyone feel like they're getting worse off "in recovery"

[hydrobitartrate]

I guess the nature of this thread mostly applies the opiod fanatics that came into a abuse via injury, with a taste for the good times. Like most of the pill heads I started with hydrocodone both prescribed and with extras bought off the street. My wife is not a huge fan of my addiction and I am not huge fan of the bills I was running up keeping up with it. I've been on suboxone since February now and it does not offer the pain relief the doctor promised it would. So while it's been great for keeping me in good spirits and out of withdraw it's otherwise utterly useless. I'm currently prescribed 8mgx2 daily which I do not take I take 8mg once a day when I actually take it, I've been experimenting more with methadone and 30mg roxies to control my pain(and get high) it kills me that I'm still doing this to myself, I can't seem to help myself though even under threat of divorce if my wife were to find out(that's a bad thing if I havn't made myself clear on that subject) I have graduated up to IV use now with the roxies as my tolerance seems to have grown with my time on suboxone. This cannot continue obviously. There will certainly be a breaking point and I don't know which will break first. I know that maybe this isn't the right place to post about how drugs are ruining my life, but meh I don't have anyone else to tell. I was kicked out of pain management for testing positive for pot, being completely honest though that dr. wasn't doing that much for me just 30 7.5 norcos a month. I guess he could see the junky within. I would love to just be clean and sober off of everything, but frankly I don't believe I'd survive it. So since that doesn't seem to be an option I'd love to get off of suboxone and back in pain management. But even then what are they going to do for me? I feel so screwed and I have no one to blame but myself. I know theres no magic forget you every tried opiates and benzos fairy. I guess I'm just short on willpower. Any advice suggestions, anything of the like? the pain management doctor said I was welcome to come back if I ever got cleaned up, but I know that that is one thing that I am not right now.

 

[MainLiner420]

I would say your best bet would be to get into a Methadone Clinic. It will take care of having to go through withdrawls and you will get much more pain relief from the Methadone than you do with the Subs. Plus you have much more control of your daily dose at a Methadone Clinic than you do with a Sub doctor. The Methadone Clinic I was at let you increase your dose to basically as high as you want. From my understanding at a certain point Subs will only be so effective like you hit ceiling at a cerain point where the Subs arent gonna get you any higher or give you any more pain relief, but with Methadone basically the higher your dose the more pain relief your gonna get. I was upto 190mgs a day at the clinic and could of gone up even more if I wanted too. At the clinic I was at they let you go upto as high as 500mgs a day!! Ive heard some other clinics cap people off at as low as a 100mgs but im guessing every clinic is different But even if you get into one like that where they wont let you go higher than a 100mgs, Im sure 100mgs a day would still be more effective pain wise than the 16mgs of Sub your on a day. Im not a doctor by any means but thats my 2 cents worth.

 

[hydrobitartrate]

Thanks man, yeah I've thought about hitting up the methadone clinic, how long does it to get take homes and everything? Sounds scary having to go everyday without fail especially considering my work, and the fact that there would be no way in hell me wife could find out.

 

[pbuilder]

Your not better off on opiates. That's the monkey on your back fucking with your head. But your not in recovery either if ur banging Roxie's and doing methadone while on suboxone. So technically recovery isn't making things worse, it's the monkey on ur back getting bigger and bigger, ur addictions getting a life of it's own, growing. This is a delicate situation to deal with because you have pain but yea methadone maintence sounds like the way to go for u maybe cause it will also help also help with the pain.

But yea dude banging Roxie's that's gotta stop... Smarten up because u know eventually as u said that ur gonna lose everything. If that doesn't scare u straight then ur just one of the unlucky few that may be destined for true junkie status. Because that's where ur headed, banging heroin. U might think I'm full of shit but I've seen it happen to so so so many people that said, NEVER heroin, NEVER a needle.

Get out while you still got a life worth living. Methadone maintence may work for u but then ur a true slave to the liquid cuffs so I dunno it's ur choice. But if it allows u to get ur life together and on track it may be worth it. My inner junkie wouldn't let myself on methadone because it'd permafuck my tolerance and ruin the ability to get high on most opiates but that's because I've found kratom works well for maintence and doesn't fuck ur tolerance. I've only used heroin 3 days in the past 75 (and my tolerance to H went way down maintaining on kratom which was awesome!), rest was just about 5 grams of kratom twice a day. Plain powder leaf, it is a life safer as it keeps me off opiates most of the time. Also it works really well at relieving pain too.

Maybe give it a try?

 

[Ruby Slippers]

Not going to lie it can be rough. I came off of over five years of very heavy use and then suboxone...same story as everyone else. I have more good days than bad. It is refreshing to wake up and not have to take a pill to get out of bed. Then there are bad days like today, l couldn't sleep last night because my back hurt so bad.

 

[cj]

If you want to be on opiates then get on methadone maintenance. I am on it and it is the only thing that has made me not crave heroin. Like I am actually happy that I'm not shooting up everyday. I was never like that I'm suboxone. I never got a good feeling from sub. In retrospect that drug is a fucking joke. Don't listen to all the anti maintenance propaganda. Do what is best for you.

 

[JahSEEuS]

Not going to lie it can be rough. I came off of over five years of very heavy use and then suboxone...same story as everyone else. I have more good days than bad. It is refreshing to wake up and not have to take a pill to get out of bed. Then there are bad days like today, l couldn't sleep last night because my back hurt so bad.

I've heard Kratom is also a bitch to get off of as well...

 

[speedballs_over]

I would say your best bet would be to get into a Methadone Clinic. It will take care of having to go through withdrawls and you will get much more pain relief from the Methadone than you do with the Subs. Plus you have much more control of your daily dose at a Methadone Clinic than you do with a Sub doctor. The Methadone Clinic I was at let you increase your dose to basically as high as you want. From my understanding at a certain point Subs will only be so effective like you hit ceiling at a cerain point where the Subs arent gonna get you any higher or give you any more pain relief, but with Methadone basically the higher your dose the more pain relief your gonna get. I was upto 190mgs a day at the clinic and could of gone up even more if I wanted too. At the clinic I was at they let you go upto as high as 500mgs a day!! Ive heard some other clinics cap people off at as low as a 100mgs but im guessing every clinic is different But even if you get into one like that where they wont let you go higher than a 100mgs, Im sure 100mgs a day would still be more effective pain wise than the 16mgs of Sub your on a day. Im not a doctor by any means but thats my 2 cents worth.

Just a tid bit of info, in the US dose caps are essentially prohibited by the federal government's policy on MMT, very clearly states that a state's methadone authority and clinics themselves are not to be capping doses. That is something that if it is an issue for MMT people here they should know they can appeal any denial of a dose increase. Just be nice, use the proper forms available on-line and at your clinic, and of course they can still deny it for benzo, other substance use or if nod out in line, etc... But a model client would likely get their increase if they properly advocate for themselves. It isn't fun or easy, but you can break any capping policy. Hit me up by PM if you need help with this issue.

I consider this HR as a proper dose of methadone is, imo & ime the best way to terminate illicit and/or abusive opioid use which often comes with much higher health risks than perhaps a slightly too high daily dose of methadone. I do not advise nor advocate for dose increases to get high, sell your extras or treat pain, I think pain belongs to pain management physicians and I'd seek out a PM practice that would be willing to grant you two to four daily dosings of methadone - much better for pain relief. But a clinic will work in a pinch, for sure. Thanks, be well.

 

[sekio]

Od --> tds

 

[hydrobitartrate]

does any feel like they're getting worse off "in recovery"

Thanks everybody i guess i have some calls to make. Are doctors gonna give me a hard time about benzos? I take prescribed non abused xanax daily.

 

[Screaming_Skull]

There is a possibily of that at the methadone clinic, it's fine as long as you take them as prescribed but many people take handfulls to get a nod. And ya, I'm on Suboxone and it does not help my cravings unless I have benzo's, so I have developed a slight benzo habbit. Only thing stopping me from methadone is family(my mom is just like please don't(but just because of the driving/going everyday) and whenever my dad sees my Subs he's like why don't you just stop...I end up using my Subs in not the coorect way sometimes so I can go out and get high, and even when taken them as dierected all I though about was going out and scoring, and I did every month. I know with Methadone that wouldn't happen. The W/ds are bad from both(worse from done though I've heard few say subs) but, I kinda wanna be on maintiance for life and the doctor is trying to taper me. Now I don't have to be a genious to see whats gonna happen when I get off the Subs. Not saying subs havent helped though, but just not enough...

 

[belfort]

Not going to lie it can be rough. I came off of over five years of very heavy use and then suboxone...same story as everyone else. I have more good days than bad. It is refreshing to wake up and not have to take a pill to get out of bed. Then there are bad days like today, l couldn't sleep last night because my back hurt so bad.

you get on methadone and you are simply a slave to the orange liquid...most clinics will make you go to meetings every week and you need to piss clean for 2-3 months in order to get your first take home..you are banging roxies now so you arent in recovery..bottom line, you need a reality check..your lady needs to know what is going on, hiding things always leads to bad end results...i have chronic pain issues and i went on methadone and it helped a little but still had chronic pain..not every day is going to be glitter...i really dont know what else to recommend...

 

[VitamaN]

I've kicked a lot of drugs in my day but opiates still have my heart...and whatever other organs they want they can have those too. I convinced myself that "I am better off ON opiates" and that was years ago . Still, no one can convince me otherwise. Perception is reality and I made my mind up. Trying to tell me otherwise would be like trying to convert a christian into luciferianism . It's at the core of my fuckin beliefs so trust me when I say you're not alone. Methadone isn't a bad idea. Get your addiction maintained rather than trying to kick it right now. Maintenance dosing really saved my ass.

 

[pbuilder]

I've heard Kratom is also a bitch to get off of as well...

It's not easy by any means but it's a lot more manageable then an oxy or heroin habit and the withdrawals are much less intense, and kratom tolerance really doesn't increase much in my experience either, if at all, and there is no fiending urge to redose, like with oxy and h. So you can buy your supply for the month and with a little self control, it will last the month. (and it's cheap). Compared to an addict buying a supply of oxys for the month, chances of them lasting the month are virtually 0 lol.

IME.

 

[tacodude]

I agree with most about methadone being something that can help, but still carries extreme dependany risks. If you have chronic pain just convince your doctor opiates are best, they don't lead to excessive use, and does not lead to overdose and death risk due to respiratory depression and narcotic strength sedation. Finally the other major thing to mention is getting the proper medication keeps you from seeking on the sheet..

Personally 30 ng oxycotin 12:hour 2x for maintenance.... I've fought five years for this combo being pushed to so many other things that rangee from dilaudid feeling good, nothing really from levorphanol, and even feeling worse with tramadol all of which fucked my tolerance one perma raising. Now I get heart pain during stress especially in withdrawals. Don't let the doctors convince you to use another opiate as if they all are the same just some stronger and longer. Don't let the doctors pay with your brain build by trying to experiment doing whatever just to find the easiest answer to find opiates in the system. Don't let doctors throw you into withdrawals and etc.

There's something seriously wrong with this country as I recently walked out of the hospital stating intent to kill myself, only to be laughed at leading me to hit by head on the door on my way out while repeating to the front I planned to end my life, and only to end up in front of a car going 30-40 trying to end my life as even after being turned down at the hospital those who "care" kept telling me the hospital is the solution+ as if I didn't just go or make enough effort to express I'm in pain in need to not be treated as just a drug seeker or to just man up by people who don't understand that the return of my pain, minor acute wd, and life situation that mindful breathing leads to heart pain and sharp short restricted breathing.

I wish I could just stop using opiates but I have to deal with underlying issues first which I am dealing with through exercise and physical therapy for at least another month if not six. I'm happy to finally have the opana with the 7-9 hour half life leading to long lasting relief even when iv..... Honestly I think oxymorphone is better than methadone, suboxone, or anything else for detox although requires a lot of extra precaution to make sure no one seeks on it or anything else. To each their own.