Top 5 happiest life experiences - how many drug related?

[felix]

Why don't you and especially Issy actually answer the question in the original post?

 

[Allein]

I trust it was of sufficient purity?

Back then I happened to have become good friends with a guy who got the pure product and then but it down, it's what people expected back then. He would sell me a bit of base because he knew I wouldnt neck the lot at once, it was more lie a putty but we've discussed this at length before.

Parties were on Saturday night so I;d make a start on the speed around 2pm, never did MDMA until we gt there and the tunes fired up, then just topped up every so often, just used to dab it back then. Mrs A was a big fan much preferring just a bit of MDMA but regular dabs of speed, she never liked the getting twisted as fuck thing, that and she liked to laugh at the state of me :D

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

Why don't you and especially Issy actually answer the question in the original post?

What? Like I did in post two, the very first reply?

Here's the question.

If you were to list the happiest times of your life how many would involve drugs?

The question isn't asking for a list. It's asking for a numerical value.

Here's the answer.

4/5 plus seeing my son being born.

There. That wasn't too difficult was it Felix?

 

[felix]

I see now that you are technically correct.

My answer to the question is 1.75.

 

[Larch]

I was recently divorced, high on drugs and followed her around like a lost puppy. Either I showed more charm than possible, or perhaps she was high at the time too, but she took me by the hand and we wandered through rooms full of priceless art, small talking for an hour. Eventually my mates returned and suggested it was time to go. I kissed her on the cheek and refused her number because my muddled mind thought it would be more beautiful if our encounter was a romantic chance meeting and the universe would decide should we ever meet again. Perhaps I had watch Before Sunrise one too many times?

Pretty euphoric evening to be truthful, even if I was cock blocked by my own warped mind.

Haha, I just watched this for the first time the other night. Decent trilogy, Richard Linklater's got a raft of good flicks.

Drug related happiest experiences? A few, perhaps some MDMA or LSD sessions. It's hard to quantify though.

 

[Allein]

Finding out that our second pregnancy was a boy, I cried..
Holding him for the first time..
.

Same as, we had a real struggle having our first, 4 years of hell that almost ended our relationship but we got there.

4-5 years later we discussed a second, I simply could not face the same process, I could write a novel about it here but I'll save you the details. We decided we would just try without any assistance. I was nervous about a second child, I was one and maybe that had some bearing or maybe just the added expectations, in truth I doubted it would happen. 5 months later it was confirmed and we were gifted our precious boy.

Both births were by Cesarean fro medical reasons so I got to hold them in their first moments in the world, A feeling I just can't put into words. They have made me feel immortal and given me the chance to heal some of the less desirable things that were in my childhood, my son is so much like me at that age that I iften shed a tear in private, recalling my early years. The little boy is still very much inside of me

 

[Sadie]

I don't look towards drugs to make me happy, I find happiness elsewhere. I use drugs to amuse, entertain, have fun, expand my thinking, go wild and for all round recreational and distraction purposes.

Maybe happiness comes easy to me outwith drugs. I'm ok with that. Drugs are fab though.

Spot on my lovely girl!

Happiness for me is a very sober thing. And is a daily thing. I find happiness in so many things. I am grateful for the simplicity in happiness.

 

[One Thousand Words]

I'm pretty happy that I went to the supermarket yesterday so today I get to veg out at home. I was stoned at the time but I doubt it would make my top 5

 

[Allein]

Spot on my lovely girl!

Happiness for me is a very sober thing. And is a daily thing. I find happiness in so many things. I am grateful for the simplicity in happiness.

Could you look at bottling that and making it commercially available ? I find it impossible to get a grasp on how others deal with the world and what they feel but over years if seeing various professionals in the field some clearly experience some kind of warm contentment I seem devoid of. The facts are I wake every day t o a feeling of dread and apathy ( unless I have drugs), I get up and push on with the day, at work I have this 'stand-in' that turns up and largely gets on OK with people, but even he gets no genuine feeling of achievement.

The above isnt intended to be a pitty puddle, I'm just pointing out that for some these positive feelings about ones self and the days ahead just do not happen. I was at my docs today and he agreed that my problems seem almost totally treatment resistant in terms of ADs and I've tried a good few. I'm going clean from ADs and unless I got really ill again I doubt I'd got back to them.

I've got a number of things planned to try and get in a better place with both this persistent depression and my continuing drug use, one being paying for a private therapist, face to face work has had a more profound effects than anything else but they need t be good as I'm so full of shit, intellectualising and avoiding someof the sources of my darkness.

My yeas through the 90s attending free parties wasnt just about the drugs, it was very much synergy, I just love the total freedom to dance like a loon. I loved the music and still do, it seems to bypass part of my brain and reach further inside, I;d be dancing flat out to fearsome hardcore for hours and have pretty much no conscious input, you simply could not spontaneously dance on a 280 BM beat.

Proper free parties had crowds of people all into just giving it everything in what ever way they wanted, I truly believe that there was and is, one beat, one nation, one tribe and one mind. The energy in those parties come the early morning when the pace increased and only the proper looned out believers were left could be felt and shared, I'm sure MDMA played a huge part in creating a level of empathy that went as far as to expose the way we are all intrinsically connected.

As a complete experience they rate as thee closest I've been to being me and connecting with others on a deeper level, maybe joy is a better word but doesnt do it justice.

These days I'm quite level and I'm functional..ish I've learnt a great deal about myself these last few years, understanding both how I think about myself and some of the reasons as to why, these tings have nothing to do with things like child abuse or significant trauma, my family life wasnt ideal but itls clear I had problems as far back as I cab remember, I surmise my brain is wired up differently to yours.

On the upside I'm told I ca be very insightful into other people in similar states thinking, I don't find it hard to discus suicide or what cunts we are and hope that those small bits of support have the same effect similar ones have had for me

 

[Sadie]

Depression is its own demon that darkens every ray of happiness. This sadly cannot be helped. I am what you would call the opposite of depression. I have had situational depression but never suffered from true depression. Even in my darker days I usually can find something that makes me smile. ( usually a sick joke that cracks me up that I keep to myself )

Fwiw Whilst I can't bottle it I share my nature with others. I have many BL'ers in my contacts list. Most are welcome to my contact details. I have a way of putting smiles on faces. At the very least offer a friendly hand to "hold"

Depression however is like fighting a burning building with a hand held fire extinguisher. Never stops this girl from trying though!

 

[Ismene]

especially Issy actually answer the question in the original post?

How very dare you

I did say most of mine were drug related in the first post if you read carefully but if I had to put a figure on it...hmmm...for really intense happiness - the kind of happiness that's life changing and gives you the strength to carry on when you're getting up at 5am in the pissing rain to go to work..I'd say 4/5.

But one would have to be reserved for a variety of times with loved ones and loved boxer dogs and a loved ginger cat who are all unfortunately no longer with us.

 

[Dark Side]

Happiness is greek for Luck. Some people enjoy the mundanities of day to day existence and others don't and never will. Most of all Ignorance is bliss, most people have their head shoved up their arse and avoid reality and current affairs, because the world is too painful, people wont watch the news because it's "depressing". people live in their own Protective bubble of existence.

Happiness never existed in this universe, its a modern construct with the idea some sort of action can lead to a state of happiness, problem is trying to achieve happiness as if it's a goal will make you miserable because of the anxiety you will feel when you haven't achieved it.

Allein you're not much different than me, no amount of pills will change you. All your doc is doing is trying to assimilate you into society via medications.

 

[Sadie]

Happiness is greek for Luck. Some people enjoy the mundanities of day to day existence and others don't and never will. Most of all Ignorance is bliss, most people have their head shoved up their arse and avoid reality and current affairs, because the world is too painful, people wont watch the news because it's "depressing". people live in their own Protective bubble of existence.

Happiness never existed in this universe, its a modern construct with the idea some sort of action can lead to a state of happiness, problem is trying to achieve happiness as if it's a goal will make you miserable because of the anxiety you will feel when you haven't achieved it.

Allein you're not much different than me, no amount of pills will change you. All your doc is doing is trying to assimilate you into society via medications.

Wow, you're a fucking ray of sunshine aren't you?

Essentially, happiness = ignorance. Nice stance. One does not have to be ignorant of the atrocities around them to randomly find simple pleasure in life. You just have to be open to such things. True, sometimes medically you simply cannot be open to such things. Because others cannot is that any reason to call happy people ignorant?

Be careful of what you say.

 

[ScotchMist]

Didn't name himself Dark Side for nowt

Like others I struggle to find happiness in simple things, I don't know if it's because I've conditioned my brain to being flooded with serotonin/Dopamine etc etc with whatever drugs too much that it just isn't happy with regular levels happy natural chems or its just in me, a part of me that can't be as happy as others are naturally so I seek assistance through drugs.. mebbe that's the lie I tell myself to do what I really like to do. I don't know.

I'd say, it's just the way I am, I always felt less than, not apart of etc etc even though historically my life hasn't been like that, quite the opposite, I just can't see it at the time... I find myself getting frustrated at myself for not being happy whilst others around me are, I have more than I need but nowhere near what I want, never satisfied.. humpff..

Anyway, happiness anyone.. sadie??

 

[felix]

I'm just going to throw this in here, because it seems apt for the way this discussion is going:

To seek enlightenment, intellectual or spiritual; to do good; to love and be loved; to create and to teach: these are the highest purposes of humankind. If there is meaning in life, it lies here.

George Monbiot, in the Guardian the other day.

What used to make me happy was making lots of money, buying stuff, having "status" and being regarded as "successful".

I think all of that bullshit way of thinking gradually eroded from the moment I took my first ecstasy, was further eroded much more the first time I took LSD, and has been blown out of the water by meeting and subsequently marrying someone who's taken me in a completely different direction. Which I am very much glad of.

I dunno where I'm going with this. But 10 years ago, I wanted a Range Rover because it would have looked cool as fuck. Now I want an old 4x4 because I can go wild camping with it. The experiences are what will make me happy, not the fucking "thing" itself.

You're not the only one having a mid-life existential crisis, Allein.

 

[Ismene]

I'm not sure enlightenment exists. I used to believe in it but I now see it as a marketing tool for eastern religions. "Study this bollocks for 60 years and you'll become enlightened". I've never actually met a living human being who was "enlightened", so you have to take the word of some fucker you've never met who is now dead. I tend to file "enlightenment" along with "UFOS".

Teaching and loving and creating are activities arn't they - like playing the xbox. I don't think they often touch you the deep inner core of yourself whereas a good mushroom trip reaches the parts other activities can't reach

 

[koneko]

Didn't name himself Dark Side for nowt

Like others I struggle to find happiness in simple things, I don't know if it's because I've conditioned my brain to being flooded with serotonin/Dopamine etc etc with whatever drugs too much that it just isn't happy with regular levels happy natural chems or its just in me, a part of me that can't be as happy as others are naturally so I seek assistance through drugs.. mebbe that's the lie I tell myself to do what I really like to do. I don't know.

I'd say, it's just the way I am, I always felt less than, not apart of etc etc even though historically my life hasn't been like that, quite the opposite, I just can't see it at the time... I find myself getting frustrated at myself for not being happy whilst others around me are, I have more than I need but nowhere near what I want, never satisfied.. humpff..

Anyway, happiness anyone.. sadie??

Great post Scotchy

The definition of happiness is an odd one. I think a lot of us, me included are not sure how to untangle it in the mix with feelings, emotions and moods....

NSFW:

Emotions are chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. It takes our brains about 1/4 second to identify the trigger, and about another 1/4 second to produce the chemicals. By the way, emotion chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains, and they form a kind of feedback loop between our brains & bodies. They last for about six seconds.

Feelings happen as we begin to integrate the emotion, to think about it, to “let it soak in.” In English, we use “feel” for both physical and emotional sensation — we can say we physically feel cold, but we can also emotionally feel cold. This is a clue to the meaning of “feeling,” it’s something we sense. Feelings are more “cognitively saturated” as the emotion chemicals are processed in our brains & bodies. Feelings are often fueled by a mix of emotions, and last for longer than emotions.

Moods are more generalized. They’re not tied to a specific incident, but a collection of inputs. Mood is heavily influenced by our environment (weather, lighting, color, people around us), by our physiology (what we’ve been eating, how we’ve been exercising, if we have a cold or not, how well we slept), by our thinking (where we’re focusing attention), and by our current emotions. Moods can last minutes, hours, probably even days.

No wonder we get confused 8(

 

[felix]

I'm not sure enlightenment exists. I used to believe in it but I now see it as a marketing tool for eastern religions. "Study this bollocks for 60 years and you'll become enlightened". I've never actually met a living human being who was "enlightened", so you have to take the word of some fucker you've never met who is now dead. I tend to file "enlightenment" along with "UFOS".

Teaching and loving and creating are activities arn't they - like playing the xbox. I don't think they often touch you the deep inner core of yourself whereas a good mushroom trip reaches the parts other activities can't reach

Right. Is your whole life philosophy: life is shit without drugs?

Was that the entire premise of this thread all along?

 

[Sadie]

I always have happiness to share with you scotchy

 

[gardenlane]

I'm just going to throw this in here, because it seems apt for the way this discussion is going:



George Monbiot, in the Guardian the other day.

What used to make me happy was making lots of money, buying stuff, having "status" and being regarded as "successful".

I think all of that bullshit way of thinking gradually eroded from the moment I took my first ecstasy, was further eroded much more the first time I took LSD, and has been blown out of the water by meeting and subsequently marrying someone who's taken me in a completely different direction. Which I am very much glad of.

I dunno where I'm going with this. But 10 years ago, I wanted a Range Rover because it would have looked cool as fuck. Now I want an old 4x4 because I can go wild camping with it. The experiences are what will make me happy, not the fucking "thing" itself.

You're not the only one having a mid-life existential crisis, Allein.

awwww snoooooooooo.