Mental Health Drug Induced Fear

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I know this may be Meth induced... But I have these bad feelings. My body gets cold and I feel a heavy feeling of dread and anxiety. I mirror gaze at times on Meth..

When I am looking in the mirror it's like someone else is staring back at me... Then I just gaze in my reflections eyes... I go into a trance. I start growling. And snarling. Barely noticeable waves only to me seem to be admitting from the mirror in an ovular pattern. Then my Brown eyes seen to be darker really dark. My pupils are huge and open. I start getting a sense of fear and dread and when I leave I just wanna cry and don't sleep because it's on my mind..

I believe in life after death. We're all radiation.. Maybe some just doesn't disintegrate over time. I just feel drained after these experiences. My closet of all places... It gives me a heavy feeling. I'm the dark when I'm asleep I get this feeling like I'm being watched... Then the feeling gets overwhelming I get scared and if I don't turn on the lights... I experience night terrors. My Grimoire is at the back of my closet oddly enough the day I carried it around I get a flat tire from nowhere New tires...

I used to mess with Ouija boards, tarot cards, the book of shadows, runic things. I used to dabble with some dark people. Some darker energies. I'm probably just paranoid or psychotic.. I am taking antipsychotics

 

[Flickering]

Lay off the meth, especially if you're on other meds. A lot of people experience paranoia and psychosis just from methamephetamine alone.

I tend to get anxious when I smoke weed and take stimulants together, and sometimes I find myself getting paranoid. A couple of weeks ago I had a hard time convincing myself one of my best friends wasn't secretly plotting against me, until the effects wore off. To be fair, I didn't believe it per se, but I really dwelled on it and it felt like a real threat. Telling. Doesn't mean you're crazy but I can certainly see prolonged exposure to that state of mind having consequences.

When you go into a trance and start growling at yourself in the mirror, do you experience this as an involuntary behaviour, as though you're physically unable to make it stop? If so, see a doctor. If not, stop doing it, or lighten up. That's the sort of thing I like to do for fun when I'm high as a kite.

Oh and I should also ask - why were you prescribed antipsychotics? They're often used to treat conditions other than psychosis. But if you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, meth is basically the last drug on the planet you want to be doing apart from perhaps datura.

 

[SixBuckets]

Take a break from the meth, guy. It's taking you to a bad place.

You may also want to stay away from mirrors. I think they're generally bad for mental wellbeing, but it's also really easy to fixate on them when your brain's not good.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Stop using meth and all drugs, if you can't do this go to a rehab/detox with medical professionals. Be careful and stay safe.

 

[LadyElaine]

I feel a "dark energy" all the time when smoking crack. I tend to focus on that and my mind tells me someone is hiding in my closet. I even imagine invisible people at times. I should probably quit.

 

[motiv311]

yes!^ omg you are gonna have a freakout if you continue! Unless you like having a waking dream of going to hell and being beaten and sodomized by demons --- I would fucking stop. Thats more or less what happened to me when I was up for 4 days as a 19 year old drug user.... Who wants to feel hunted by hell hounds anyway?

Also you seem to be suffering from Depersonalization disorder (or derealization) based on feeling like your a stranger in your own skin. This comes from Ecstasy and other amphetamines such as meth..... maybe crack smoking contribues to it. .

 

[meowamphetamine]

Wow, that hit really close to home. I know theirs tons of people telling you to lay off the crystal, but I of all people know it's easier said then done. If you ever want to talk just message me or something, we can be afraid together.

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Lay off the meth, especially if you're on other meds. A lot of people experience paranoia and psychosis just from methamephetamine alone.

I tend to get anxious when I smoke weed and take stimulants together, and sometimes I find myself getting paranoid. A couple of weeks ago I had a hard time convincing myself one of my best friends wasn't secretly plotting against me, until the effects wore off. To be fair, I didn't believe it per se, but I really dwelled on it and it felt like a real threat. Telling. Doesn't mean you're crazy but I can certainly see prolonged exposure to that state of mind having consequences.

When you go into a trance and start growling at yourself in the mirror, do you experience this as an involuntary behaviour, as though you're physically unable to make it stop? If so, see a doctor. If not, stop doing it, or lighten up. That's the sort of thing I like to do for fun when I'm high as a kite.

Oh and I should also ask - why were you prescribed antipsychotics? They're often used to treat conditions other than psychosis. But if you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, meth is basically the last drug on the planet you want to be doing apart from perhaps datura.

It's involuntary. I would say it's like a hypnotic state. Like I stare in the mirror. I zone out. All the visual shit happens. But then like I said I start getting extremely focused and put into a trance. Then next thing I know I'm looking in the mirror for half an hour growling and snarling at myself.

I'm prescribed them for Bipolar Disorder... I have extreme issues with it.... But I always just feel normal and better on Crystal... Even the days after I feel a weak rush. Serquel is my savior. When I have been up for days I just pop one and pass the fuck out... Or I found that it's fun to pop it whole high as a kite and then sitting down and standing up and repeating because I would get an amazing chill of euphoria through my body and would nearly faint and have fainted a few times....

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

Wow, that hit really close to home. I know theirs tons of people telling you to lay off the crystal, but I of all people know it's easier said then done. If you ever want to talk just message me or something, we can be afraid together.

It's strange it really is . I enjoy those feelings somewhat... The worst I've ever felt was after a 7 day binge, no food at all, lots of caffeine, and 4-5 hours of sleep in general.. I'll tell you lol that's the first time I had all the lights off, all the sounds muted, my Windows covered up, and my door blocked by stuff lol but that time I thought cops were after me bc I had seen my neighbor pull in and he's one lol. But long story short I was locked away for 5-6 hours lol.

 

[ThatSpaceyKid]

yes!^ omg you are gonna have a freakout if you continue! Unless you like having a waking dream of going to hell and being beaten and sodomized by demons --- I would fucking stop. Thats more or less what happened to me when I was up for 4 days as a 19 year old drug user.... Who wants to feel hunted by hell hounds anyway?

Also you seem to be suffering from Depersonalization disorder (or derealization) based on feeling like your a stranger in your own skin. This comes from Ecstasy and other amphetamines such as meth..... maybe crack smoking contribues to it. .

No man. It's all dellusions from Bipolar and drug induced. I literally just zone out when I smoke meth. I zone out for hours but when I'm like that I can feel things around me. I can feel a cold shiver when I zone out... And as a few have described... There is a dark aura admitting from other tweakers who I'm around or there have been times when I looked at my friends face and it just made me so frightened... It appeared to me all deformed, purplish/Blue, his eyes were full of rage, and like when he talked he sounded different.. It was one of those times where I felt so overwhelmed around him and his face and the aura just made me drop dead scared, so I left immediately without speaking to him just ran out and didn't speak to him for a few days...