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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Benzo dependence... is it worth it?

R

rc_benzo

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
82
If you click on my profile and read my previous posts, it will be easier to understand why I'm asking this.
i suffer from extreme anxiety and everyday panic attacks.

I've been using flubromazolam for the last 4 days.

My question is: should I just give in and become dependant?
 
If you have a doctor that isn't gonna just cut you off, then i would go for it. I function way better on benzos. Don't mess with them too often after i went through withdrawal.
 
For me, it wasn't worth it, in the long-term. But when you suffer with crippling anxiety/panic attacks you're most likely desperate enough to take the short-term fix.
 
Ask yourself whether you are ok with living on pills and with their side effects for the rest of your life first.

Then make sure you have enough money and whatever to sustain it because obv you don't wanna go through withdrawal.

My advice is to learn to deal with your anxiety on a natural level and then turn to pills.

Personally I'll tell you it'll never be worth it.
 
Hell, no, it's not worth it.

Benzodiazepine addiction is mentally and physically addictive. If you quit cold turkey, you could have a seizure or possibly even die. Also, downward tapering of the benzos over time takes some inordinate length of time, like a year or two. That is, if you can find a doctor sympathetic enough towards drug addicts to give you the amount required for a only somewhat uncomfortable long drawn out taper. If you end up in jail or certain rehab programs that don't allow tapering, then you'll be in even worse dire straits.
 
I know people who are addicted to benzos and they had seizures when they didn't get a high enough dose, or when they went into withdrawal...so it's not worth it. Some people have died from benzo withdrawal.
 
I lived at this awesome beach rehab for a year, and one time there was this guy who was coming off--cold turkey--a high dose Klonopin (clonazepam) habit, and let me tell you, he was bad off the first couple of days. Another woman suffering from crippling anxiety got addicted to taking Restoril (temazepam) and Ativan (lorazepam) as prescribed and had to be weaned off them very slowly. Of course, the paradoxical thing about using benzodiazepines for anxiety is that they usually make it worse in the end when all the pills are gone.
 
I am indeed desperate, because my anxiety has shattered me to pieces, and I need something to relieve it. Even if I don't get a prescription for a benzo, there plenty of RC benzos that you can buy online.

And yes, I have heard horror stories about benzo withdrawal, and it scares me too.

Maybe I can somehow wisely use benzos to manage my anxiety without becoming dependant?
 
Yeah it is worth it. You have two choices.

(1) Live with the anxiety and have a shit life like these people have chosen to do.

(2) Deal with the drug withdrawal and dependency and actually live a fun life.

Either way you are fucked, everyone is in the same boat though, but either way you gain.
 
TheLostBoys said:
No way.......I choose an oppiate addiction 100 times out of 100 over benzo.....
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This. Like, a lot of this.

It's not that hard to just deal with your anxiety and get over it PERMANENTLY. (or at least take it to the level where it doesn't bother you)

I got addicted to benzos from my psychiatrist--it made my anxiety WORSE and eventually getting off them and dealing with my anxiety was harder as a result.
 
Benzo addiction is indescribable, far worse than that of opioids, with the added bonus of being fatal through seizures if you are cut off from your supply. The WD sucks, no lies there, but the longer you go on, the worse it gets.
Then there's the little things like tolerance, money, drug-testing, holding down a job, frequent amnesia, repercussions of your disinhibited actions, social issues... little things like that.

Get. Out. Now.
 
OP: The whole problem with dependence and addiction to sedative/hypnotics, including benzodiazepines, is that their effectiveness is going to wain; quickly. It sounds like you have some serious anxiety issues. Herein lies the problem. You are dealing with mental anguish and have readily available, powerful drugs with which to self-medicate. Do you think that you can responsibly dose yourself? Most likely not.
 
sorry to hear your anxiety is out of control. it's severe pain. and it can seem like downers are the only out. a terrible situation to be in. i hope you are able to find real relief. benzos are not it.

for a few months you will think life is a-ok. it's not worth it. the pills will make your anxiety disorder worse. at the same time, the pills will lose efficacy. after a year or so, you'll be dependent on benzos and you'll have worse anxiety than at this moment. even right after taking your dose, it will be worse than what you are dealing with today. it's temping to tell yourself that you'll be better equipped to handle this down the road, but in reality you will be much worse off.

when watching horror movies i like to identify that last moment where they could have just said, "na, i'm going home." instead of being disemboweled ...
 
rc_benzo said:
If you click on my profile and read my previous posts, it will be easier to understand why I'm asking this.
i suffer from extreme anxiety and everyday panic attacks.
I've been using flubromazolam for the last 4 days.

My question is: should I just give in and become dependant?
Click to expand...
*This reply is assuming the OP wants to follow suit of being addicted to benzos*
The similarity of the situation you're in is almost uncanny, in the fact that it is so similar.
If you click on my profile as well (not promoting my own posts, just providing a citation for this "uncanny resemblance"), you will see a post that is close to yours, except in much more extreme detail, with a lot of helpful comments as well. I would advise you to visit this post, because if this website has taught me anything in the 2 weeks that I've been a member, it's that one of the best feelings in the world is to know that people empathize with you in the horrid situation you are in.
The only thing that's been keeping me from even trying something like flubromazepam* is the fact that I've fucking had enough of attempting to control my anxiety, only to be cut off arbitrarily/without my consent (due to a dealer running out, or another unreliable source).
Dude, who the fuck knows if RC benzo's will somehow be effectively banned on a near-future date, especially with our fucking luck. ("Our" as in: sufferer's of intense anxiety who haven't been lucky enough to meet an empathetic doctor, and have resorted to self-medication).

My advice to you:
Try your fucking hardest to obtain benzos the "right" way, through a doctor. Pull out the phone book (Google) and start calling all local GP's/psychiatrists. Ask each receptionist if you can speak to the doctor in practice there. Legitimately state your purpose, and ask if he will see you.
In the 1 out of 100 chance that this works, you will have saved literally thousands of dollars in the waste-of-time visits that you avoided.

Oh, but wait! Let's not forget we aren't in the clear, even if we have a doctor we "trust"!
Once you acquire this compassionate doctor, fucking acquire as much flubromazepam as you want. You never fucking know when a doctor wants to fuck you over by cutting you off from your only chance at maintaining a normal life. ***Save the flubromazepam for when your doctor cuts you off/retires/whatever***
-This way, you have 2 courses of action:
1. A steady, legitimate flow of prescribed benzos
2. A backup supply to effectively wean slowly/sustain yourself when your doctor inevitably cuts you off for being an "addict" or some shit...lmao
Be fucking responsible with the RC benzos. Don't fucking TOUCH THEM until you're off you're prescribed benzo. Who knows, maybe you'll be too fucking old by then to even give a shit. Please, use this plan, or some up with another safe, sound, backup plan.

Message me if you want to talk about dealing with a life of crippling anxiety without treatment. It really helps to talk about it, trust me. You can check out my other posts to see how it affected me.
 
jammin83 said:
Terrible advice, nothing is fun about benzo dependency and they don't even work for that long^^^

You also have the chance of permanently fucking up your brain chemistry for life. Try something else first, tenex is fairly effective for me and no wds, and non-addictive. In the end, benzos make anxiety much, much worse.
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For me they worked for 11 years so I disagree that they don't work for that long.

It's one thing to say that in your own personally opinion it isn't worth it but it angers me that many in this thread and in general on this forum try to tell people who live with EXTREME anxiety that they shouldn't take benzos in a way that comes off less like personal opinion and more like fact.

It is NOT a set in stone fact that benzo dependence is always the wrong choice for everyone and no one who says that it is the wrong choice 100% of the time can possibly be correct.

Some people are very much helped by benzos and don't end up in bad shape.

Also, it is not true that benzo withdrawal usually results in death and that is a very rare case as I was told by psychiatrists when I got off Klonopin.

I understand that people want to help but just remember it is only YOUR opinion that benzo usage is not worth it.

Try to remember that for some people it IS worth it and that their opinion is just as valid as yours.
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
sorry to hear your anxiety is out of control. it's severe pain. and it can seem like downers are the only out. a terrible situation to be in. i hope you are able to find real relief. benzos are not it.

for a few months you will think life is a-ok. it's not worth it. the pills will make your anxiety disorder worse. at the same time, the pills will lose efficacy. after a year or so, you'll be dependent on benzos and you'll have worse anxiety than at this moment. even right after taking your dose, it will be worse than what you are dealing with today. it's temping to tell yourself that you'll be better equipped to handle this down the road, but in reality you will be much worse off.

when watching horror movies i like to identify that last moment where they could have just said, "na, i'm going home." instead of being disemboweled ...
Click to expand...

It is most definitely NOT a fact that benzos always make one's anxiety worse and that they lose effectiveness after a year.

I took them for 11 years and they never lost effect and did not make my anxiety any worse than it already was.

Remember that your experience is not the same as everyone elses.

For some people it is the right choice to make.
 
Felonious Monk said:
This. Like, a lot of this.

It's not that hard to just deal with your anxiety and get over it PERMANENTLY. (or at least take it to the level where it doesn't bother you)

I got addicted to benzos from my psychiatrist--it made my anxiety WORSE and eventually getting off them and dealing with my anxiety was harder as a result.
Click to expand...

I think your choice of words here is pretty wrong.

"Not that hard"?

For some people it's a LIVING HELL.

Some people literally cannot deal with their anxiety AT ALL or ever get over it permanently or even in the short term.

I'm sure you are just trying to help but that was just the wrong choice of words.
 
Honestly, i dont think so. I have GAD and panic disorder. Im currently suffering pretty bad on the panic disorder part after kicking opiates in November. I do take xanax, every couple of days, which i think im going to stop now because i just think its not worth it. I would SERIOUSLY recommend a counselor who specializes in panic. Honestly. I see a hypnotherapist, im not so much into the hypnosis, but he has taught me some pretty useful coping skills. It's definitely worth a try, i promise. Good luck!
 
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