Technically it's still a partial agonist. At small doses (I thought under 2 mg ; perhaps you are right and it's under 4 mg) bupe does not saturate all available opiate receptors. Thus leaving some open for norbuprenophine--which is a metabolite of buprenorphine--and which does act like a full agonist. It can only do this at low enough doses so that the receptors aren't saturated so that there are some open for the norbupe that results from metabolizing the bupe.
Which is why people who understand the drug say with bupe "less is more"
OP- I don't have experience with ketamine but I though it made one feel dissociated. Not exactly what you say you're looking for. I don't think bupe is your answer. If you are one of those people who opiates give that feeling that fill a void that's been there all their lives I say just from your posts you'd probably like oxycodone. 10-15 mgs for an opiate naive person usually have him feeling amazing.
However. It is short acting. Not the best for therapy. Have you researched methadone? It does have an antidepressant component.
And for some reason, reading your posts, I wonder if you couldn't benefit from a psychedelic type trip. Or something like a one time ibogaine treatment. It's said to really give one unique perspective on living
Cool advice. I kind of wish I was a natural born junkie, in the sense I'd at least know what the void was. As I said, I don't like saying it but hey, the rare climax (which are usually underwhelming) seemed to fill the void in the brain, but was short acting. Another was a natural adrenaline kick, which didn't feel like a kick more like vitality, and was short acting, but these gave me the hope that no meds did. I wondered if something like sky diving would be for me, but don't think so. I felt dead on roller coasters even upside down, it was mostly physical sensations. Making this very tricky, and raising the odds that I'll die like this. If i knew how to induce a natural, real adrenaline kick, but it seems to require happening unpredictably to work. But dam, was it a relief for as quick as it was.
The thing with ketamine based on what's been written is that it seems to do what other antidepressants don't. In case you didn't know, ketamine is being studied as an antidepressant. The fact that it repairs brain connections sounds appealing, as well as acts on dopamine and glutamate, unlike ssri which work strictly on serotonin, making it sound as if it covers more ground than current antidepressants. But, there are those who don't get any benefit even from that, but at least they discovered something.
I've also thought of psychedelics, especially after reading up on them and that they've been used for depression. Not sure if insight is what I need though. I've thought and read quiet extensively, then in a snap, a short adrenaline rush does what 10 antidepressants didn't touch nor any kind of behavior training. It's more like with benzos and severe anxiety. Someone can try zoloft and CBT, but if it's severe, benzos may be more convincing that it's to do with low gaba pure and simple rather than simple thinking. I think since it isn't possible to think your way into severe anxiety or depression it isn't possible to think out of them either. So either they improve on their own, or require medication. I notice as I tick off distorted/irrational thoughts or perceptions one by one that while there's some sense of relief from finally not having to incorporate them into your personality/idenity, the mood remains depressed, reaffirming to me that it was biochemical to begin with, otherwise why think morbidly depressive thoughts. Growing up I liked doing what others liked, watching movies, having fun. These days I can spend hours on negative news and negative topics, like murder, and don't even enjoy it, it's more like they match how I feel, near the pit bottom on the pleasure scale, so you might as well bask in the gross in case it's temporary, but it isn't the most productive. Trying to focus on positive subjects feels like eating sand. It makes functioning socially very difficult, as you can't explain yourself that life plain sucks, and can't be blamed solely on something external. Glad I'm not violent otherwise I might've done something crazy, but constant inner torture isn't a real blessing either. I used to snap easily, then read up on depression and irritability and felt some consolation. But they don't give examples of that irritability, so I was still worried that I suffered from something worse. Must say I sometimes wait for people, clerks etc to say something stupid so I can vent, not because I want to but because I have to, something has to give as patience is seriously compromised, like no internal pleasure lol, if u can say that. Now if opium is the thing that soothes that to the point of carrying over between situations, then so be it. I've long felt drug addicts, but for some reason didn't get into it myself, perhaps I wasn't convinced the drugs would meet my expectations, or that the whole drug abuse scene felt depressing. But I do know what it's like to crave basic feel good. I mean normal mood to me look as if drugged, the difference is so big. At the same time I can relate to it from memory, i guess it's helped me retain hope that there's something better, but with incompetent modern psychiatry what do you do, just hope til you die? If you're too depressed for current psychiatry, then yes, that is the expectation. If you have a long record of failed treatments and virtually all of it is serotonin related, that's a pretty bold statement that it is for a selected few only. The fact that you can be in treatment for so long without symptom relief says something as well. Then, the odds of finding a sufficiently open minded psychiatrist who understands biochemistry and mental illness is slim, most, quiet understandably go mainly by the book, it's just that the book they use is simply incomplete.
I think all opiates have antidepressant properties, obviously. I think thats simply due to the fact that they all release dopamine and endorphins.
Any drug for that matter that makes u "feel good", is ultimately an antidepressant, right?
I kind of wonder that as well, that's why I asked about bupe. But at the same time, current antidepressants don't help many. It's almost ironic that they treat drug abuse depression with ssri, which don't even work for many who weren't drawn to dope or coke. The few tricyclics that work on dopamine are widely unavailable, it's incredible. It'd be one thing if they'd restricted coke as an antidepressant, being that it really is unfeasible due to being short acting and tolerance developing, but tricyclics. They don't even want to do with dopamine, let alone endorphins, so of course people will get hooked on coke and dope. Can't just pretend that serotonin fixes everything.
It's therefore great to see that finally new compounds are being developed and researched, including ketamine and apparently also one that's based on bupe, believe it or not. In light of everything that sucks with current psychiatry, it's really refreshing to see how they don't care what's being hyped about sri's and just go for what works, that's what should've happened long time ago, then by today they'd have learned of limitations and workarounds, instead it's been almost serotonin is the culprit period. Guess a few select psychiatrists know better, but that doesn't help many. I think with the brain being so complex, and brain research still in infancy, psychiatrists should be schooled in ensuring symptom relief, instead they severely limit them as if they already knew the brain in and out. They should be able to use intuition based on most available tools and compounds if symptom relief was the business, and being experienced professionals, still do so relatively safely. Especially given suicide is a reality for some. In general medicine if there's risk of dying the utmost is done to prevent it. Clearly not so in current psychiatry, it's more about moralizing almost. Some won't even prescribe benzos short term, despite superior efficacy for anxiety relief, and by no means very likely to cause dependence.
Thanks for the info, it's been nice to learn about the doses and effects. I think it'd be good to start with bupe, and then keep methadone and oxy in mind, plus certain shrooms. Being good with tolerance, and hating for something that finally works to lose effectiveness, so usually very careful not to overdo, although less so with time as life passes by, but feeling good has become very expensive.
