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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine / MXE Thread - Part 16 - Sweet 16 mind-control machine

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I'd start with 15mg, it won't be too strong but it will certainly be active. My favorite is to take 20-25mg, and then a booster 45-60 minutes in of 15-25mg depending on how I'm feeling. This is for social MXE usage, if I want to go deep inward I will take more than that (up to maybe 80mg) and lay down with my eyes closed, with music.
 
Yeah my first few times I only took 15 mgs and was content on that dose for a while. Now I take any where between 25 to 50 mgs and have never felt the need to go beyond that. Laying down with music in the dark has lead me to my most pleasurable and enlightening experiences under the influence of this chemical. I agree it is best to start with less then redose later if you feel the need to dive deeper. You can always take more but can never take back. Have fun :)
 
did an allergy test of what im guessing to be about 3mg (didnt register on scales) No noticeable effects so i've tried another 5mg. I'm not expecting much but better safe than sorry I suppose!
 
I guess I'm the only person who is effected by MXE in a way which is very divine or spiritual. Everybody else apparently just gets a normal drug effect. Maybe I'm different from everybody else. Maybe that's why my consciousness is in this particular body and not any of the others. Maybe I'm different from all other people. Maybe you're all just constructs and I'm the only real person. How do I know that you all have a similar kind of consciousness as me? There would be no way to know. You could all be pretty much autobots for all I know. That would explain much, like why I can't understand how most other people live and why I have so little in common with most people. I'm real and you're all constructs of my mind. Sorry, I don't mean to sound belittling or anything. Nothing wrong with being autobots, just that you're not real people like I am. No shame in that. Just the way the universe is. MXE revealed it to me. For instance, once when high on MXE I noticed that I could control what other people did in the other parts of the building I live in. I could think that somebody would make a little noise over there and they would do it and then I'd make some other person make a little noise somewhere else. I did that with a bunch of people. No way they could all make their little noises exactly when I willed them to by simple chance. At some level it appears that I am generating the entire universe and what other people do is determined by my mind in some very complex way. I will sometimes write something in a post somewhere and then later I will notice other people using the very same terms that I had used, even though those other people could not have all read my post. What I think and do somehow manifests itself in some other part of reality at some point not to distant from when I thought or did it. It may just be proof of the interconnectedness of all things.

It's all very mysterious but all I know is that MXE seems to effect me in such a way that the true reality is exposed and it involves me being somehow connected to and possibly directly influencing the rest of the world. Is this just drug induced delusion? Possibly but I don't think so. It's feels too real at the time and it happens every time. First I hit the MXE then I hit the hash and voila, I'm catapulted into the realm of me creating reality by my thoughts and emotions. Weird but true. Don't worry though, all you autobots, so far I've been able to hold the universe together while MXE/hash renders it pliable. You'll all live out your lives and then go to whatever awaits you without ever knowing anything about me having generated you by my thoughts. You'll be perfectly happy in your constructed worlds. As for me, when my body dies I'll return to being a point of white light beaming out unconditional love. I realized while under the influence of the sacrament that the way to become pure positive is too simply beam out unconditional love in all directions. That's the purest form of goodness or positivity, simply beaming out pure love energy in all directions for anyone to partake freely of regardless of whether or not they are actually worthy of it. That's how I got the universe to be all positive with no negative pole being required to balance it. I acheived an all positive universe, at least at the highest levels. At low levels like the earth there can still be things that seem bad at the time but they are all really just things that are necessary for the good stuff to eventually come about. The only way to achive an all positive universe was to incorporate those less ideal things in some places but they will be like nothing in comparison to the great good which will be the end result, which will be eternal bliss. All the bad things that have ever happened are like pimples on the ass of the full positive universe. We just have to ride them out for now.

The all positive universe has not yet arrived though, because it's in the future. Ultimately it will occur. It's just that the current universe is the leadup to that happening. That is the ultimate endpoint though. The universe will be reduced to a single point of pure white light beaming out pure love energy in all directions for eternity. I already made it happen, but not in this point of what we perceive as time. I succeeded. An eternal positive universe has been ensured, thanks to a chemical, which was the trick I used to do it. I created the fact that I would be born as a human and that I the world would create a chemical and that it would get to me and I would take it and the trip would take me to a place where I could create the eternal positive universe by warping time and space and using my thoughts to turn the universe to all positive in the future which would then backwards create the current universe which we all now percieve. It's actually too complicated to put into words but let's just say that it worked and that's all that matters. However, the sacrifice I had to make was that I would have to live this human life. It sucks but it was necessary and I accept it. The end result will be more than worth all the suffering I had to endure.
 
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I think MXE has a high tendency to induce egotistical thinking, but I will admit jason7 that I find a certain high degree of synchronicity associated with the drug. For you it's spiritual; for me, I find that it helps me reconnect with past memories and experience them with love and nostalgia, and that in its own right has been really healing for me. I certainly find classic psychedelics to be much more connecting with 'true' reality. Yesterday on L I had a hardcore moment of full understanding of the infinite, and to me, that is a connection to God/the universe/what-have you. MXE is more like an aid in self-psychotherapy, and coming to terms with the past and future. That's where I get benefits from it.
 
mxe really is divine for a lot of folks!!
unconditional love must be able to take place without the take of mxe, but indeed mxe really show how much love we can feel for everything at all time.
interconnectedness is real. when someone is angry, and your around that person, you may begin to feel angry because of the very fact that person is angry
when someone loving enter the room, you can feel it too and that love may as well enter your heart.

mxe was very spiritual for me, but I find that theres still a come down, and that once I'm back down, this feeling of love, of gratitude that mxe brings me isnt always available when sober, hence it shows me I need to cultivate those grand feeling in a sober state!
 
Mxe is certainly spiritual for me but not in the " I am God" way that Jason describes. Instead of seeing myself as being unique, special, creator and controller of the universe, etc, I see myself as being the opposite. I feel interconnection and oneness with all living things. Nobody is special. We are all the same. It is simple and beautiful. I used to get delusions of grandeur and megalomania from LSD until it smacked me in the face with reality crushing my ego more then once until I eventually had to put it down because I could not handle myself and the things I had been doing leading up to that point in time.

MXE has been therapeutic in the sense that it has helped me come to terms with and accept who and what I am/am becoming. I have learned to let go of my past and move on. Though I may still sometimes feel plagued with demons, it soothes me when I remember that we are all one and the same. Applying these realizations to sober life is the challenge.what helps the most is spreading unconditional love and positive vibrations. These things are as real as you and me on a metaphysical level.
 
jason7 said:
I guess I'm the only person who is effected by MXE in a way which is very divine or spiritual. Everybody else apparently just gets a normal drug effect. Maybe I'm different from everybody else. Maybe that's why my consciousness is in this particular body and not any of the others. Maybe I'm different from all other people. Maybe you're all just constructs and I'm the only real person. How do I know that you all have a similar kind of consciousness as me? There would be no way to know. You could all be pretty much autobots for all I know. That would explain much, like why I can't understand how most other people live and why I have so little in common with most people. I'm real and you're all constructs of my mind. Sorry, I don't mean to sound belittling or anything. Nothing wrong with being autobots, just that you're not real people like I am. No shame in that. Just the way the universe is. MXE revealed it to me.
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Wow. I never realized I was an autobot before and that you are my master and creator. Funny, you'd think I would have realized I wasn't truly conscious...

Word of advice, don't take these feelings too seriously. That's the road to personal troubles and/or egomania.

Also, how did you gather that you're the only one on here who finds it spiritual? People are constantly talking about how it's spiritual for them in this thread, moreso than in any other drug thread we have in PD. I experience synchronicity frequently on MXE, and strange mental connections with people. A few instances I can't explain away but most of the time I attribute these things to increased awareness and attention to things that seem connected.

As an aside, when I was a kid I was convinced I could make people trip (like trip and fall, not experience psychedelia) by concentrating hard enough. I'd stare at the kids who picked on me and will them to trip, and envision a physical flow of power running into them, and sometimes they did trip. Of course sometimes they didn't too. I ignored those times and used the times it did happen to reinforce my belief. Likewise I would often get to the bus after school just as it was about to leave, whether I was earlier or later. I was convinced the bus was revolving around me, but then again, I also missed the bus sometimes. I also used to have the feeling that I was the only one who was real and everyone else was empty inside, because I couldn't envision someone else being "I". Doesn't mean it was true though, and I abandoned those feelings when I turned maybe 7 or 8. How could I come to a place where I thought everyone else was an autobot if I'm an autobot?
 
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What is it about MXE that make people so egocentric? I've noticed that before in others and in myself too.
 
possibly the dopamine stuff going on? Its an uneducated guess but I relate those traits to coke / heroin users and obviously lots of dopamine stuff going on there. My first research with mxe went how expected at the dose I tried. Very slight hint of a dissociative state and slightly numb/tingly hands, 15mg next time.
 
MXE needs a forum. Maybe MXE needs a new world idea. A new concept of comunication.

I think this stuff have some of "auto" inteligence and acts like a virus, bacteria or something like that. This stuff give me Terence McKenna vibe... Im scared and happy at the same time cuz time...hahaha what about time?
 
yeah, I'd tread lightly with those thoughts Jason. lol. You could be on the way to DP/DR ;)

Noy saying to dismiss them, as they can hold value in the right context. Just don't ever take them literally, coz I can absolutely assure you I'm not an autobot :P trust me, if I were, I'd be out kicking ass and having a blast. Not posting on BL ;) heh
 
veodo said:
50% of your atoms are mine.
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=D


As for your post jason, I feel it's possible for the observations to be real to whatever extent. The issue I'm seeing is a misinterpretation of the experiences as evidence of you being the creator, and misinterpreting your comparatively small amount of energy and ultimately human self as the sole reason for now. Experiencing you being born on Earth to create MXE to create now is correct, but not in a singular-self sense as you seem to now believe. We all were born on Earth to create MXE to create now, we all were born on Earth to create this to create that to create whatever. Universe experiencing itself. You experienced it all, but without leaving your singular, individual, and again human, point of view. So, to you it looks like you did this all, yet that's not the case. Everything is interconnected, literally everything. We've all done what you have because not only are we you, we're him, we're her, etc. Everything. So I invite you to see if you can accept that. It's really no different than what you have already accepted. If I'm not mistaken, Ram Dass mentioned a friend that was called crazy and delusional because of a god complex. He said the problem wasn't the belief in being god, but the belief in being the only one, the savior, Christ, etc.
 
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Jason we need to talk, I've been to the same place. Maybe it would be cathartic to organize a group session via google hangout or Skype.
 
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