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Chicago heroin thread v. blowin for blows

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northside: I gotta wait 120 minutes to send you a msg. I swear I won't forget this time. I just got so ill between the last msg and now that I did forget. <3 Thank you for the msgs, dude. I appreciate it all.
 
Good to see you posting again. I swear I'm just looking out for your best interest, contact me or not. I'm also going out tomorrow night, so I got a little free time on my hands.
 
I hate this 120 minutes shit, otherwise I'd have msged you. I will respond tonight. Lord knows Im not sleeping. I tried to eat. My kid attempted to make dinner .. just pasta in pesto. Well, that didn't go very well. I'm beyond thankful right now for the outpouring of care. As ukie can probably chime in, I really have no one at all that's an adult and knows my situation. I have to be very mindful who does know, as most of us do - because there are some awful people out there. I tried to get my mother up here because I really thought I had to go to the hospital today (probably should have) for hydration and she won't come up. There's no bad blood. My brother is a very terrible junkie, the kind that steals, lies and just recently drove his car into a fucking house! He's abusive to his wife and kids ... and my mom bails him out constantly. She won't let him hit rock bottom yet she will let me, and it pisses me off. He's the golden child for some fucked up reason. He's truly a terrible human and I feel so bad for his babies, heroin just makes him have an excuse for it all rather than it being he's a bad person with a habit. Now people blame the heroin for his behavior, which is not it. He's always been violent. / sorry for ranting.

If everything works out and Ukie stops over, I will be ok. Im very concerned with getting dehydrated and making my child miss school. I'm not doing well at all but I can push through everything other than barfing and fainting, because I have no control over my body currently. I'd hate to get into a car accident and hurt anyone else. I'm scared to death of that happening, hence why I kept him home today. I couldn't even walk at one point and my poor dog was so scared. I don't know how anyone gets through this vomiting aspect without going to the ER. Seriously. Ive never had it before so this is new to me and Ive been using off and on since I was 12!
 
it's cool. just get back to me when you can. Uk Pm'd me earlier, so I got an idea of what's what. We can just talk or whatever...I got 2 kids myself, they 5 & 8 and they getting ready for bed now. I'm on subs, kpins and lexapro, so when I go down, most of the time I'm down for the count. but I'll keep an eye on my phone if i can. Like I said earlier, i think i can help. And you both seem like adults and good people....and i've said it before, i wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy. i try to stay away from that kind of thinking.
can you drink water? ice chips? watered down juice? gatorade? eat bread? if you got got a saline IV, i'm sure you know all the tricks....and then some....
 
It's so hard to give yourself an IV. I have it with all the trimmings in case shit gets very bad and I'm bed bound like I was earlier. I can keep down water and since I got the bags earlier (I've only used 1), I've only thrown up 6 or 7 times, which I was doing per hour yesterday. Ive kept count on fluids, 8 liters of water / gatorade but I've yet to pee - so that's how dehydrated I was/am. I haven't peed since 9am! Ukie brought me a few things that I'm ever so grateful for. I never thought I'd be comfortable with someone giving me immodium and discussing shitting yourself but HEY whatever lol. At this point I no longer care because I'm so fucking sick.

My kid is older than your 2 (I have 2 kids but my oldest is in college) which is a blessing in some ways, but I miss them being so young! What a fun age they are both at :)

Im pissed I threw up my xanax yesterday. Im not going to like that withdrawal either. Oh so Ukie and I were talking about this entire vomiting thing, he had it as well. (hope you don't mind me sharing this), when he was pissed tested at the clinic he came back positive for bupe with the other stuff. This gave me a lightbulb moment, because I once gave myself subs too soon and threw up like this for hours. It actually crossed my mind yesterday how weird the withdrawal was, that it actually felt like food poisoning more than anything else. I betcha my stuff had bupe in it. I can tell you that recently it changed up and became stronger to the point I'd wake up 12 hours (going to bed at 7pm) and still feel high off of just 4 bags. I assumed fentayl but I betcha it's fent, bupe, dope and domo. That combo would make anyone feel like death. I should have piss tested myself to see. I used to do that when I'd switch PC's, to see what my shit was cut with. bupe is expensive so Im so confused how they are getting their hands on it. My pc did complain about how Nigerians are rebricking it before selling it and it's screwing everything up, I wonder if that's when it happens?

North, I will msg you on here and give you my email because I sincerely hate this waiting crap I have to do because I don't have 50+ posts. I want people to be able to get in touch with me in emergency situations as well, I am a nurse and can be of huge value in harm reduction. My biggest goal is to get my license here and work in a clinic to help people. I have to get sober first, obviously. I also like talking to people who are striving and walking through similar situations. I know so few and I think we are all in common place with that. Heroin isnt' exactly a social drug anyway, plus it's pretty private. Im so grateful for all of this - you guys have NO idea. None. I will pay it forward 10 fold as soon as I get back on my feet.
 
Hey Soma, didn't want to interject into your guys conversation(wanted to give you guys the illusion of privacy) lol. I completely identify(and symphatize)with how you are feeling. I was in the exact same spot just a couple of months ago. As for the puking, for me it went away after I think about three days. Although, I still felt nauseous for about a week and a half. The friend that you made on here, is a really genuine, no bullshit, cool type of person, I have met him a couple of times personally. I also hold him in very high regard because in my opinion, he basically pulled me out of what was going to be an inevitable disaster. I'll even go out on the limb and say that he might have saved my life. I was doing a lot of dope all day, everyday, while performing safety sensitive functions. And I just didn't know how I was going to stop! The feeling was decreasing and the amount was increasing. Lol.
You have to get through it. Even if you have to cheat a little just to stop yourself from being dehydrated. ...Damn! I wish I still lived by Grand/Ogden, I'd swing by and check on you. Just hang in there and take the help you are being offered. I'm sorry I'm always late with my responses in PMs. I have a horrible schedule that doesn't allow too much time for normal activities. Lol. Besides, you're probably not getting them anyway, green lighter. Lol.
Hey, let us know how you're doing. You can do this.
...NOW, back to the regular programming.
Pill Bill ...Hillary?...really?... Whatever man, wrong arena.
 
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Update: because of cheat day yesterday (light cheat): I slept 6.5 hours fitfully and Im up to take my kid to school :) I drank over 10 liters of fluid yesterday (I keep a detox journal, everyone should because it helps know what you've taken). i woke up and still feel the dope so I took advantage of it and ate something, drank more, took supplements and immodium, zofran too. I only wish I had a washer and dryer in my apt or change to do laundry, my bed stinks!

When I get home I'm going to clean what I can, shower and shave because shaving during detox is hell on earth as a woman. Trying to shave over goosebumps is awful but I cannot stand the feeling of leg hair. If I still feel decent I'll make my kid dinner and store it in the fridge or at least crockpot chilli. BTW I make amazing chilli and stews ;) I assumed I was going to wake up vomiting so I'm shocked a bit that I woke up high! I hardly did much, and I think proves what it's being cut with (fent and probably bupe). there's definitely a longer half life going on and I believe I mentioned it earlier but the last bit I copped (before this, which was free) he called me a couple times to check on me. That was odd so I think the batch he made up was very strong and someone either od'd or was happy as fuck lol. I could see an IV user dying off of one bag. I had a healthy habit going and 1 back was lasting me all day (and I easily was doing a gram a day). So something has changed in the formulation.

Regarding Ukie, yes - solid person all around! But I knew that prior because I'm friends with his gf and she's a great chick. It was so weird we connected or that ukie had figured out it was me and happened to be reading here! The timing was perfect and he without a doubt saved my life. I was so dehydrated that it took me 14 hours to pee and I had almost 11 liters of fluid in me! I have color back in my skin and I can walk without being winded or shaking. When Ukie stopped by yesterday I was bone chattering still but no where near as bad as I was in the am.

Im determined to get down to what the puking shit is from, because 8 people I have now spoken to who all get their shit from either the same person or same group have told me they puked between 3-6 days and 5 of these people went to the ER with organ failure! The drugs were out of their system so there was no results but Ukie did test pos for bupe and I'm swearing up and down the combo is fent, bupe, domo and dope. the horror movie vomit and shitting would make it all make sense if it is. I am going to look online for a harm reduction drug testing kit and order it with an amazon gift card I have (if there's one on amazon). I'd rather do street reports. I actually trust myself not to use anymore so once I feel better I can do something like bag testing.

Ok going to get dressed and drive downtown. Wish me luck here, I just yawned and it triggered gagging :( I woke up and coughed up so much phlegm it was disturbing. FYI: I was in the hospital on st. paddy's from getting pneumonia from dope, so when I first started puking it was only all that nasty shit that got into my lungs or settled in my stomach since I sniff not IV. It was fucking gross man. Glad it's out of me but still, not easy to puke up. I no longer have that chest rattling though.

Thank you for offering to have stopped by itchy. I really appreciate it! I am getting strength from you guys and it means the world to me. I don't feel alone. I will pay it forward and help how I can with anyone else. I am hoping to feel better enough to return to work and get rent and bills paid at least by the 5th. I'm so screwed because I've been out of work since the start of the month due to the pneumonia and my child also (who has NEVER gotten sick, even as a baby) caught strep and the flu. Hot mess over here!!! XO guys. I'll be on here all damn day after I get back. If I'm not posting or responding it's because Im too sick to even move.
 
pill_billy said:
dude really?? hilary isnt as crooked as the rest... lol not like i know her or anything but she def seems like a good person, which is alot more then i can say about most of the republicans...

for real tho shes prob got that shit locked down... i kinda like rand paul... he def has the right idea about the war on drugs and real wars but then he just goes off and says some real crazy shit... but after voting for obama (twice) and seeing how much he pussed out on all the shit he said he was gona do im not really getin my hopes up for anyone... BTW did anyone see his interview w vice?? mother fucker said people need to be more focused on terrorists and shit like that instead of legalizing weed... wtf...
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lol I like her and hell ill probably vote for her, i'm just saying shes not squeaky clean either. Back in her early days shes fucked over some ppl over too, but its the nature of the game I guess too :\

Urbans0ma... wow is all I can say, I never thought about how much worse and inconvenient it would be to be throwing up. Esp after only three days of sporadic use, I forgot if you said it was bags or raw but, I will read and type more later. I'm getting ready to take this day on now.
 
No no no not 3 days of sporadic use. I was using over 30 days daily, but had started out doing 3 days on sorta thing. I used to buy raw because the cuts were so bad that it clogged my nose or burned too bad but my pc got his game together and the cuts were better. I'm paying dearly for it now. The vomiting is insane, I have no other words to describe it. I have never in my life experienced anything like it and I've had 2 kids with severe morning sickness I had to be hospitalized with! Im very interested to know what it's cut with so I saved a bag and Im going to find a way to do a test on it. I think it's dangerous shit (well, more dangerous than H). I will tell you all that 2 weeks ago I bought a few jabs that were very bad quality and even found a PUBE in a bag. I wish I was kidding about that but Im not. It was brownish and chunky but not in a good way. I did several bags in a row and felt withdrawal, after that my pc changed it up again and it was too strong but I didn't bitch because it saved me money and obviously did the job. Now Im getting sober and whatever made it stronger is hell. Be careful my friends.
 
JJones, I can only send a msg every 120 minutes but I read your inbox. Im going to nap and then write you. Read back on what I just went through and it might answer some questions you had or give you some insight as to what's going on. I don't know why Im having IV levels of withdrawal but I suspect it's the cut. I threw up most of my xanax on day 2. I took a break yesterday and did some H, but very small amount - enough to stop puking and get food down and fluids in me. Im currently waiting to feel sickness before taking a sub. I've cut up 2 strips and it should do it, I hope. I have other meds (zofran and anti shit pills) which I hugged yesterday lol. Ukie brought me pedialite so I have that bedside as well.

Just wanted to add that I don't have nausea, that's not what's inducing the vomiting. I have a terrible gut ache that if anything but water touches it, I vomit instantly. There's zero warning and I was shitting myself the same way (no warning at all and it was bile so ... it was like peeing myself). I swear to god I never felt anything like it and could not drive yesterday. I was so thankful I used yesterday because I had a functional morning and my child is at school safe and sound. My kid didn't go yesterday because I couldn't drive, I had no control over my bodily functions and I was faint. I live a few stories up in my building (no elevator) and definitely couldn't walk those stairs or get the snow off the car. I have very little xanax left so Im hesitant to take any until the anxiety is high flying. So pissed I puked up 6! Anyway, loaded myself up with immodium and Im taking the zofran every 8 hours regardless if I feel like puking or not, I cannot live like that. Again, never ever puked off of withdrawal - not even methadone withdrawal (which was hell x's 10), not sure what the deal is here but I doubt it's "raw" more like the cut Im guessing. My pc mentioned he's barfed from it before for 7 days when he kicked it. F' that.

Ok, off to nap. Gotta get sleep when I can.
 
hows it goin my fellow dopers! posted a few times on here just trying to get familiar with everything. are most ppl on here still currently using or in recovery? at the moment I just got myself back into a habit after staying clean for over a year. thought I was done for good last time but hey you know how this shit goes. just sayin what up ppl everyone be safe out there esp. if you cop out west we all know that shit hot as fuck
 
I think most people still use, this is harm reduction so people chime in.

*daily update. Still haven't taken the sub yet, it's been 12 hours and Im starting to feel the junkie limbo. I did nap for 3 hours though, my pc keeps calling but Im not answering right now. Im chugging this pedialite and lord it tastes like cum lol (for those that need to know)
 
I waited 18 hours last time I switched over to subs and was fine. Still had anxiety but that was to be expected but the physically. Since our "situations" were fairly similar I think you should be fine. That pedialite is nasty but needed. I couldn't keep down anything
 
urbans0ma said:
Im chugging this pedialite and lord it tastes like cum lol (for those that need to know)
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but does it smell like cum tho? thats the real question lol jp... either way im sure thats pretty sick...

itchyscratchy said:
Pill Bill ...Hillary?...really?... Whatever man, wrong arena.
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dude youd really rather see another shit kickin texan in the white house?? come one...

im not saying im 100% liberal on everything... but man fuckin republicans are just too absurd, and honestly i agree with alot of what they say (smaller federal govt, ie. smaller DEA, less war on drugs) and they are always talking about personal freedoms and shit, i always say then why the fuck are you not for legal weed (and all legal drugs honestly) and for the biggest goverment waste of all, the war on drugs.... if the did what they preached theyd atleast get my vote, if i could vote, but thats awhole nother story lol...

PS... i think theres a nice mix between ppl who are still in full blown junkie status, ppl still chippin, and ppl who are clean... thats jus my opion tho...
 
No it doesn't smell like it... or i'd ralph all over the place hahah reading that did make me hurk a bit. I've yet to get the anxiety and kinda hoping it stays away because I have 4 damn xanax and I'm trying to make that shit last. The zofran gives me a dull headache and makes me so lethargic that I actually do sleep, so I think that's worth it if you can afford the Rx. It's pretty easy to score from a Dr since it's just anti-nausea med. Most likely won't set off alarm bells like asking for blood pressure med Clondine (sp). Which btw was ALL that got me through methadone withdrawal. I did end up breaking-down and finding xanax on the streets by week 2 of that withdrawal, because even the ambien they gave me in the ER (an rx for a week) didn't touch my insomnia. Want to hear the insane shit? I actually went back stripping during methadone withdrawal at a very high end strip club here in Chicago. I only heard one remark about how frail I was, and that was from a customer who said "I just want to save her" - so I must've looked really healthy lol. I went back because I wasn't sleeping so I might as well be making grands a night being up till 7am. It was hellish though and I skipped off to nyc for a week and chipped off while there.

I just realized how far away yesterday now seems. Detox is some crazy time warping shit
 
urbans0ma said:
No it doesn't smell like it... or i'd ralph all over the place hahah reading that did make me hurk a bit.
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sorry lol... but i still thought it was pretty funny...

and my ex was a "dancer" also... no better job to support an addiction with... but that money wont fill the hole in your soul lol...
 
i don't dance anymore, I couldn't stand the shit when I did it. I don't play well with others and constantly got into fist fights, plus I'm heavily tattooed and that club fired me after I got ink. Aparently now they allow it but they cracked down on drugs, they will have you arrested there. They are all ex police officers and drug task force. I actually was clean while I worked there (I don't drink) because I knew people would notice if I was on anything. What I do now is very specialized and a lot of money - no one would think I did dope. I am a good functioning addict until it's time to come off - and we all see what a shit show that is! Literally. ;)

I've been fighting the urge to get sick for hours. I had to change the dog's pee pad and I was ready to puke. I have a bad gag reflex right now so it's getting ready to hit me :( I feel fine otherwise and showered, cleaned the house. I can't stomach making my kid any food though, the thought of it is making me get watery mouth. I'm telling you guys - this is a weird weird withdrawal. Something isn't right.
 
^ i was jus teasin ya... but yea the place she worked at was more of a out of sight out of mind type of thing unless you gave them a reason to think u were all fucked up, then they would look through lockers n purses... my ex got sent home her second day cause she a rig in her bag (guess one of the girls didnt like here from the get go cause she cute as hell and said sumin to the boss), she was crying so hard when i picked her up cause she knew we were gona be sick... but guess that how the game goes, sometimes your flush n sumtimes ur bust...

but IME you sound like your goin through normal WDs... when i was detoxing i was taking every bit of 15 showers a day, it was the only thing that would make me feel half way descent... and as for smoking cigs... itd always give me the watery mouth and yea you know how it goes from there.... can you not go to the ER and get a clonodine patch or pill?? that shit helped me out soooooo much, that and a little weed...
 
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