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What Was Your Morning Fix? v. Nothing Wakes You Up In The Morning Like A Sedative!

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So far just Coffee, but will be 1-2mg of Sub before work...ate all my damn xanax last night! I had four put aside for today or two today/two tomorow....but I ate all 13 once again trying to get a nod on my subs which I know never happens unlesss its Sub-Gabapentin+6-8mgbenzo+weed. When will I learn?? Really wanted those 4 footballs today, I work in customer service & it's Saturday=(.
 
40mg dex + 600mg gabapentin + cimetidine before I dose my hydrocodone + listening to the Clash as we head to IHOP.
 
Just awoke in agony due to a colorectal abscess and had some ghb and a rollie. Back to bed for a while and then ozzy in the morning to have my sphincter sliced and diced... again! So it will be two weeks of visiting the nurse to have my nappy (dressing) changed every day
 
My morning fix, and will be for a LONG time, is 80mg of methadone.

The reason why I said I will be on that dose for a long time is because I have other addictions to take care of 1st, weed is one of them, and I quit smoking weed, it's been 39 days now without any weed, so that's a CHECK on MJ.

My other addiction is, Benzos, which of course is on a whole different level, weed is like candy compared to pills.

Don't get me wrong though, in all honesty, it was REALLY fucking hard to stop smoking weed, because I was a chronic smoker for 10+ years EVERYDAY.
What made me QUIT smoking successfully, are benzos. The most common, and most uncomfortable symptoms of weed w/d are Insomnia, loss of appetite, cravings, etc.
Benzos, brought my appetite back, took care of my insomnia, and I had no cravings for it anymore.
I've tried to quit weed, by itself before, with no medication help, and I just couldn't do it. I mean, I couldn't EAT or SLEEP. Eating and sleeping are the most important things for the human body, so without benzos, i'd still be smoking today.

I have a doctors appointment in a couple weeks, the doctor who RX'd me Clonazepam to stay off the streets and buying benzos illegally. Also to taper me down when im ready. But I did do REALLY well with Clonazepam.
From taking 8-10mg of Xanax, OR 80-120mg of Valium daily, I got RX'd 6mg of Clonazepam daily, in 1mg pill form. Bottle said to take 1 pill every 4 hours, which is 6 a day.
That got me off of Xanax and Valium, for a while. But since I had a huge stash leftover, I couldn't resist but to finish them off. Starting in a couple weeks, I will not be taking any benzo besides my RX of Clonazepam. I do still have a big stash of other benzos, including Xanax, Valium, and Ativan.

I stocked up and saved a bunch of my RX of Clonazepam. Because I have been using my street benzos to get rid of them, as of today, I have 78 1mg Clonazepam pills, and supposed to get another 120 in a couple weeks. That's close to 200 1mg pills. Which is PLENTY for me to taper off of. Esp. with the other benzos I have. The left overs of Valium, Xanax, and Ativan will go in my ER box. After I see my doctor. I have been taking a lot of the benzos im not RX'd, to get rid of them or lower the stash down, and up my stash of my legal RX of Clonazepam.

I know exactly what im doing. :)

My doctor told me, you can stay on Clonazepam at the dose you are today, and let me know when you're ready to taper off. This next appointment, ill say im not ready YET, but my following appointment in may, I WILL be ready, ill finish all of my street benzos, and stock pile my clonazepam. So, 120 more in april, and another 120 more in may. That's 240 1mg Clonazepam, not counting the ones I have stock piled as im typing this, 240 + 78 = 318.
I will have a total of 318 1mg Clonazepam saved up by May, a month and a half away.

Now, tell me that's not enough to taper off of? Whoop whooppp. :)
 
^Do you have the discipline to complete that clonazepam taper with all of that on hand?

40mg methadone
Smoked a small J
Coffee
 
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Coffee & Cocaine

flairrumble2.jpg
 
Brown ale, technically (I dont exist within the confines for morning and night, only awake or asleep)
 
^Do you have the discipline to complete that clonazepam taper with all of that on hand?

40mg methadone
Smoked a small J
Coffee

Absolutely.

If I don't/didn't, I wouldn't be talking about tapering benzos with my doctor, period. But I'm very confident, in beating my benzo addiction, due to the fact that, I havn't been on benzos too long, I've been using them on and off for about 2 years. But I got addicted to them, by using them everyday, for only a little over 6 months.

However, my opiate problem is on a whole different level, I have been a opiate addict for 9 years, including 2 1/2 years of Methadone.

So an addiction, IMO, under a year, can be done pretty easily.

When I first started opiates, I was on hydrocodone for 2 1/2 years, dosing between 80-120mg/daily, and in all honesty, I quit Cold Turkey, with no medications besides NSAIDS, Ibuprofen and Naproxen. Honestly, they weren't helping all that much, but something was better than nothing. BUT, I beat the addiction, it was the toughest part of my life to this day. I was in full blown w/d. From Cold sweats like I just got out the shower, RLS, insomnia (didn't sleep for 8 days), loss of appetite, diarreah, nausea/vomiting, pain, the whole 9 yards. By day 5, I started to feel a little normal. By day 14, I was completely fine, no w/d at all, I felt like superman, when I beat the shit out of Hydrocodone w/d.

I was off opiates, for 6 months after all of that.

But, after those 6 months, I made the biggest mistake of my life by using opiates again, I was introduced to OXYCODONE. I was on OXY for 3 years, my tolerance never went down, even off of opiates for 6 months, my tolerance was still where it was at when I stopped using. I was dosing 120-200mg daily of Oxycodone for 3 years, I tried to quit cold turkey off oxy, I honestly went through 9 days of hell, after those 9 days off of oxy, or any opiate, my w/d was getting worse? I was like wtf? I did all those 9 days for NOTHING? it was a nightmare man, so after that, I told myself its never going to end, and continued using, after oxy got to expensive/pricey, I was introduced to the devil, named Heroin. Smoking/chasing the dragon for about 2 years, when I hit rock bottom, the w/d from heroin, and all that oxy before the heroin, I was literally about too commit suicide. So my family saw how sick I was, like DYING kind of sick, I finally commited to them that I was an addict and need help. They rushed me to the hospital, the doctor there was cool enough to take care of me that day cuz I was SUPER dope sick, got IV'd Morphine, Ativan, and promethazine to calm me down. Doctor said the only thing that will save your sons life (talking to my parents) is MMT or Rehab, couldn't afford rehab, so we immediately went to a MMT clinic. Here I am 2 1/2 years later, still on methadone. But it DID save my life.
 
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