I've recently discovered a 50mg pill of oxy in my bed belonging to my boyfriend at first he lied bit eventually admitted to me he had started using it again and it used to be a problem in his past. I've been trying to keep a log of how much he uses and its between 4-5 50mg pills a week. I have no idea if this is progress because like I said I had no idea he was doing it up until a month and a half ago... He says he wants to stop and we picked a date for April I just am afraid the date will come and he will continue to make excuses to do it ... At first he told me he does t for energy to work... And then I'd notice he would use it on days we just hang out around the house and watch movies... It seems he spends his time and money looking for more and I don't know if I can believe he will really stop. He is the love of my life I am sure of it and this is our only issue in our relationship. I can't be with someone who is doing this forever I don't want it in my life. I don't want to lose him and I can't tell anyone I promised I wouldn't tell anyone he is so ashamed of himself. I don't use any kind of drug and this worries me I don't deserve this but it's not about me ... I need advice on how to help him get off this I just get mad when I see his dialated pupils and it makes me sick that I know he is high we fight instantly and he goes off into another room for hours it's really tearing us apart and I need advice.
Why does it bother you so much? Ask yourself this and be honest with yourself: "Before you knew about his addiction, how was the relationship between you and him then?" It's his choice. You can't change a person. If he wants to stop he will stop on his own, you will never be able to convince him to but you can help him stay clean by support his decision. He's lying to you about wanting to stop, addicts lie, and you're wasting you're energy. Let him know it bothers you, but opioids are the centre of the addicts life. The "high" from an opioid drug enables people to almost disregard emotions with zero effort. You are stuck with an oxy-addict boyfriend unless he decides for himself it's time to stop or find someone else. You are probably bugging the shit out of him and he'll just take more oxy. He's not ashamed, he doesn't want anyone to know because he wants to keep using. If people start finding out it will cause more problems for him, he could lose his job, his family might dis-own him or instead support him by letting him know they love him unconditionally. Drug addicts aren't exactly high-status members of society but when nobody knows, the Mayor could be a coke head and still be loved by the people, as long as they never find out about his sneaky little habit.
My housemate was (I'm guessing) so embarassed about losing his drivers license for drink driving that he kept his vehicle parked somewhere else - the driveway of the house of a mate of his. I asked him about it, when he moved in it was always out front, for weeks, then gone. Trying to guess why it vanished puzzled me to the point of paranoid thinking, so I asked him. He told me and now it's parked in our driveway. Pride makes me chuckle. I love him and we're not close, not even friends. He's a boarder.
Anyway, you have my 2c.
SOURCE: Personal. When I decided to elimate drugs from my life I no longer felt bad. I always tried to conceal it and lied to everybody. I fluffed to "keep the game going", keep them all thinking I truly wanted out. Now that I have decided that I no longer want to use, I feel good. I don't brag to every person I meet but I'm honest when people ask. I have a better relationship with my parents because I don't lie anymore and their love and support has not changed in the slightest. What has changed is now I talk with my immediate family almost daily (emails, txts, whatever) because I can feel their love and even though I still use (it doesn't happen overnight), I'm ok with it because it's just part of the process of recovery.
I wish you all the best. I hope he stops because it seems to be causing you more stress than him. Or if you truly love him, you'll love him no matter what and perhaps that day will come when he approaches you and says, 'Babe, I want to get clean.' Don't be upset that he lied, addicts lie. It was the drug, not him.
