Is fun drug use ruined forever??

[Whatthehell99]

A few years ago I loooved doing whatever crossed my path, stimulants were my favorite! I've been a regular weed smoker since age 15 I'm now 22, maybe a gram or more per day. In my teens I experimented a lot with ecstasy every time I took it was a good time. Around 17 I got into coke pretty hard, not once did I have a bad or scary experience it was always just amazing. From 17 to 19 it was a lot of coke and amphetamines. When I found amphetamines it was totally over I was in love. My normal thing was blowing 5 to 7 30mg addys every couple days. I would have done it every day if I didn't have to sleep ever, but one day of blowing them and being high, fallowed by no sleep, fallowed by another day to come down and get some sleep, and the cycle started over again. Sometimes I would binge out on them for 4 days at the most without sleeping but that always kind of sucked because by the end of that I would be seeing and hearing shit. This went on for about 2 years. When I moved out of the state I basically quit cold turkey which was hard but I don't really remember much from that time in my life. I always continued to smoke week on the regular but have been without drugs/stimulants for 3+ years. A few months ago someone gave me a couple concertas which really are nothing compared to Adderall. I only took ONE and felt nice for the day, until later I smoked a bowl and freaked the hell out. Felt like I was having a heart attack it sucked! Ever since then every couple times I smoke weed I feel like I can't breathe, chest pains, racing heart, shaking, hands go numb. Never thought weed would turn on me like that. I came to the conclusion that it's probably just panic attacks. So the other day when I got my hand on the tiniest bit of coke (for the first time in 3+ years) I thought I'll take it slow to see how it goes. Key bumps where fine, but when I cut my first line I thought for sure I was going to have to make a trip to the ER. Heart beating out of my chest, racing, blurry vision, felt like puking, sweating my ass off...WHAT THE HELL?! I'm sure I wasn't overdosing on a line someone else would probably laugh at but it sure felt like I was. I can see how the weed is anxiety, but the coke made me feel like something much different than anxiety. Did my heavy drug use years before destroy all hope for fun filled drug use for the future? Even a new user of coke should have been able to handle the amount that I'm talking about, I feel like I turned into a huge pussy! Anyone go through something similar?

 

[pasha]

If you give your body enough time to both physically and mentally heal from chronic drug use there's every chance you can go back to having a j without feeling like your hearts beating out of your chest. Stimulants can leave long lasting psychological damage after abuse. Try to stay away from stimulants so you don't hinder any progress you've made.

Coke and concerta are also very peripheral compared to crisp stimulants like meth. That could be a contributing factor to the acute anxiety.

 

[AbusedTampon]

And damn I can barely imagine what the come down felt like.... Best to go on a small health break. Like baooozs said, let your mind and body heal up, all those years of stimulants, cutting cold Turkey, and trying them again years later, kinda reminds me of PTSD. Steer clear for a little, it'll only come to use. Best of luck.

 

[inthetriptank]

Stimulants do a number on your body, especially over time. I was like you: did coke, then amps consistently for a few years, then stopped and could not enjoy weed for a long time. The panicked feeling does go away over time. Just be patient with your body and wait for your brain chemistry to return to normal-it takes awhile.

 

[StanleyJobson]

Try to stay away from stimulants so you don't hinder any progress you've made.

Yup. IMO, once you get past this, you'll most likely be able to have fun with drugs again. Maybe not stimulants, but definitely other ones.