Bomb319
Bluelighter
I know that they ARE depressants, however in my case this coudn't be further from the truth.
When I'm high, or even just have them in my system, very few people want to be around me. Why? Because I drive everybody within eatrshot absolutely fucking crazy, because I literally can't stop talking! The stronger the opiate, the greater the effect in general. Now that I'm on methadone maintenace, this has become particularly challenging due to it's long half life and subsequently high levels in my bloodstream at nearly all times. I'm not even kidding; it's quite hard to control. If no friends or family are around anfd I go out, I will even strike up conversations with random strangers, or at least say hi to everyone. When someone is talking to me, they claim to find it hard to get a word in edgewise. While I do make a conscious effort to allow them a turn, I often have to be told since I just keep having thoughts that I feel compelled to express pop up in my head. These in turn give me other thoughts, and so on.
It even extends to typing online! For example, I was just going to write my mom a relatively short email about one thing or another. It ended up taking me nearly an hour and a half, and it's over 5 pages long! It's dumb because I know nobody wants to read that much, even family, but I honestly feel like I can't really help it. I'm usually highly introverted normally, although I think this is because I'm used to being by myself; I'm an only child, and I like to read a lot of non-fiction like science articles for hours a day. It's not like I have anxiety or a social disorder or anything, although when I'm not high I tend to be fairly quiet, and listen to a conversation before contributing to it. I'm not afraid to talk to people or anything, I just have little to no motivation or interest to do so. An hour after a strong dose of methadone though, and people start to become pissed off, telling me to just shut up already.
Even NOW in this topic here; had I not taken my methadone, I very likely would not have made it, despite it being true of past experiences. Now, not only do I write it, but I keep going, adding details, explaining more details etc. Until it gets to be several paragraphs and I have to purposely cut myself off and edit it. Does this ever happen to anybody else to this degree?? I mean I've certainly heard about some paradoxical stimulation in some people, but never to this extent and whenever I take my dose.:D
When I'm high, or even just have them in my system, very few people want to be around me. Why? Because I drive everybody within eatrshot absolutely fucking crazy, because I literally can't stop talking! The stronger the opiate, the greater the effect in general. Now that I'm on methadone maintenace, this has become particularly challenging due to it's long half life and subsequently high levels in my bloodstream at nearly all times. I'm not even kidding; it's quite hard to control. If no friends or family are around anfd I go out, I will even strike up conversations with random strangers, or at least say hi to everyone. When someone is talking to me, they claim to find it hard to get a word in edgewise. While I do make a conscious effort to allow them a turn, I often have to be told since I just keep having thoughts that I feel compelled to express pop up in my head. These in turn give me other thoughts, and so on.
It even extends to typing online! For example, I was just going to write my mom a relatively short email about one thing or another. It ended up taking me nearly an hour and a half, and it's over 5 pages long! It's dumb because I know nobody wants to read that much, even family, but I honestly feel like I can't really help it. I'm usually highly introverted normally, although I think this is because I'm used to being by myself; I'm an only child, and I like to read a lot of non-fiction like science articles for hours a day. It's not like I have anxiety or a social disorder or anything, although when I'm not high I tend to be fairly quiet, and listen to a conversation before contributing to it. I'm not afraid to talk to people or anything, I just have little to no motivation or interest to do so. An hour after a strong dose of methadone though, and people start to become pissed off, telling me to just shut up already.
Even NOW in this topic here; had I not taken my methadone, I very likely would not have made it, despite it being true of past experiences. Now, not only do I write it, but I keep going, adding details, explaining more details etc. Until it gets to be several paragraphs and I have to purposely cut myself off and edit it. Does this ever happen to anybody else to this degree?? I mean I've certainly heard about some paradoxical stimulation in some people, but never to this extent and whenever I take my dose.:D