Chronic Pain; or, "Wow, this sucks every day!"

[RandomHHooHa]

Hey folks. I'm new to BL and I appreciate the resource and people's kindness.

I was a life-long athlete and grew up on a farm, 2 things which left me inclined to ignore pain. Now I'm in my late 40's: I've had 5 knee surgeries (the latest to get an artificial one), a recent surgery to remove a bone spur from my heel, and a congenital back condition which was worsened by a fall resulting in a slight chipping off one small part of a vertebrae. My doc prescribes 60 percs/month (5-325); I take 2 at night to help ease it; he also prescribes Tramadol which I can take during the day. In order to feel any effect, I take all of the Tram at once. On the obvious level, I just hurt all the freakin' time, even while sitting. (I'm lucky that my job is white-collar and doesn't depend on walking or being on my feet a lot.) I've tried some adaptive yoga, doing what poses I can, and I'm a vegetarian. But I've put on weight, which of course doesn't help anything. I also grieve something that was such a huge part of my life for 4 decades: being an athlete. Now I can't even walk for 10 minutes without feeling like I could cry. Honestly, if I weren't afraid it would (a) get discovered and lead to my doc no longer prescribing and (b) affect my profession, I'm pretty sure I'd try non-legal means to get more. As it is, if I know I have a big day the next day, I'll skip my dose the previous night in order to double-up the following. I am so, so tired of this. I have wonderful friends who care about me, but I don't tell them everything b/c there's nothing they can do and I know that's tough for them. So--I just needed to put this out there. My background tells me not to be so weak, that so many people have it worse. But my body seems to keep screaming at me.

 

[Allein]

Hey there RandomHHooHata welcome to Bluelight,

I have some empathy for your situation, I trashed my right knee before I was even 16 having played competitive full contact rugby from 8, it didnt need surgery but the cartilage and ligament damage put a stop to any aspirations in that area.

Much of my youth was spent jumping up and down in warehouses for hours on end which took it's toll on my knees but they held up with the kind of aching and pain I'd learnt to live with over the years.

Unfortunately 3 years ago I had a motorcycle accident and shattered my left knee and tibia, not a day has passed since where I haven't been in pain. 3 operations later and a growing collection of metalwork have improved things but ultimately it's ruined and all the extra stress on my right knee and back have caused secondary problems.

My OP in October improved things and with that and my growing tolerance to the Morphine I'd been taking all those years I decided to stop taking them all together. I still take APAP and Ibuprofen on occasion but rarely since APAP (Paracetamol)does little for me and I try and avoid NSAIDs due to previous issues.

I'm sure you are aware but don't exceed 400mg of Tramadol IR (300mg SR) a day as it can cause seizures above that level, it's funny stuff like that, it's commonly prescribed here in the UK but my doc wasn't at all keen.

It's almost impossible not to become dependent on pain killers in that situation, those who are 'well' and use opiates daily end up taking them to feel better from the lack of the drug in their system, someone in pain start out on the premise that taking the drug will alleviate discomfort. It's a tough gig and I've no idea about the level of pain you are in, I strived to keep the doses as low as I could but often did much the same as you by taking less in the day so I could at ;least feel more comfortable in the evening and nightime.

Waking up everyday in pain does grind you down, I can't really sprinkle sugar on it but I'm alive and not stuck in the wheelchair I've had a taste of on and off these last 3 years. It sounds like you've been more proactive than me with regard to exercise, I must start to make more of an effort, I'm sure this is essential in both reducing the pain and fighting off depression.

 

[RandomHHooHa]

Hey, Allein--wow, sounds like you've had a freakin' nightmare of an experience. Nothing quite like having 2 devastating injuries to your knees in your lifetime. You're right--it does grind me down. If I try to go down, there's just no sleeping, and given that my work involves focusing on people and helping them, it's important that I try to get at least a few hours.

The thing that kills me is that it's all so inter-related: limping on my bad right knee made me carry a disproportionate amount of weight on my left leg, which led to the bone spur on the left heel. The back is just its own special hell, exacerbated by basically chronic limping. If you saw me from a distance, you'd say I was shuffling...which probably isn't a bad description.

I appreciate you not trying to sugar-coat it or offer simplistic advice. Sometimes it's just nice to hear someone else say, "Yep. This sucks, right down to the bone."

My best to you in your own journey.

 

[WantToBeReborn]

I know exactly what chronic pain can do to your spirit. It does suck. As someone that was a massive painkiller addict previously, I can tell you my reality - my pain level reduced after I stopped taking opiate painkillers. There is a known phenomenon called opioid induced hyperalgesia, which means that over time and with increasing doses of opiates, pain levels actually increase in the body. I had a serious spinal injury and I was on opiates for years and when I stopped them, the original injury pain has reduced to a much more manageable level.

I must be clear, stopping opiates is very difficult and at the start my pain levels were massive in withdrawal and for the first weeks. I used to take Gabapentin (Lyrica) and sleeping pills too to knock me out so I could sleep as I was still in pain. I'm now 9 months down the line of no pain meds at all, no sleeping pills, nothing and I sleep through most nights naturally, something I couldn't do even on all the drugs and I'm starting to feel absolutely fantastic, compared to where I was. Still a long way to go, but it blows a hole through living that pain med addict lifestyle. I was enslaved to pain meds. The freedom of being out of active addiction is unbeatable, it is life changing.

There IS a way out of this darkness. There are other ways to manage chronic pain. There are other ways to come to a process of acceptance of losing athletic ability and there are other things in life that you can find to fill you with joy again. You lose the ability to feel joy when on pain meds, they dull the senses and cause depression. Keep coming back here, you are not alone.

 

[NickyGirl]

I have a similar story-a lifetime of orthopedic injuries-6 knee surgeries beginning at 19, a replacement at 40. I'm now in the middle of recovering from a 4th foot surgery due to a freak devastating crush injury. Also suffering from overcompensating on any of the remaining good limbs and joints left. I struggle constantly to manage the pain. I've been in and off most standard pain meds. Currently on Xartemis xr with so-so results and relly in need of something for breakthrough pain. Anyone with any suggestions on what's worked for you would be appreciated.
One word of caution-in my opinion stay away from Tramadol. Several years ago I had 2 seizures after docs increased dosage. One while I was driving. I think docs use it more as an excuse to keep their opioid prescribing rates down. In my area most chronic pain patients are treated like drug seeking criminals. I would love to find a non opiod med that worked. Anyone have any experience with Lyrica? I've been doing some reading but messages are mixed so far.
Chronic pain is debilitating and has brought on deep depression for me. My best to all of you out there who suffer too.

 

[CfZrx]

I know exactly what chronic pain can do to your spirit. It does suck. As someone that was a massive painkiller addict previously, I can tell you my reality - my pain level reduced after I stopped taking opiate painkillers. There is a known phenomenon called opioid induced hyperalgesia, which means that over time and with increasing doses of opiates, pain levels actually increase in the body. I had a serious spinal injury and I was on opiates for years and when I stopped them, the original injury pain has reduced to a much more manageable level.

I must be clear, stopping opiates is very difficult and at the start my pain levels were massive in withdrawal and for the first weeks. I used to take Gabapentin (Lyrica) and sleeping pills too to knock me out so I could sleep as I was still in pain. I'm now 9 months down the line of no pain meds at all, no sleeping pills, nothing and I sleep through most nights naturally, something I couldn't do even on all the drugs and I'm starting to feel absolutely fantastic, compared to where I was. Still a long way to go, but it blows a hole through living that pain med addict lifestyle. I was enslaved to pain meds. The freedom of being out of active addiction is unbeatable, it is life changing.

There IS a way out of this darkness. There are other ways to manage chronic pain. There are other ways to come to a process of acceptance of losing athletic ability and there are other things in life that you can find to fill you with joy again. You lose the ability to feel joy when on pain meds, they dull the senses and cause depression. Keep coming back here, you are not alone.

Hi WTBReborn! Hey, I have been taking 15mg mscontin 3Xdaily for 2 years. My pain is manageable until I have to go do something like stand or sit up for any time. Do you think I am avoiding hyperalgesia by sticking to low doses? I have abused other opiates during this time but am now proud to have 19 days off IVing 120mg daily, back down to just my 45mg daily. Should I avoid asking for larger doses due to what you mentioned? Thanks CfZ

 

[herbavore]

Anyone in chronic pain should try acupuncture if they haven't already. Helped me immensely when I had a year of pain from "frozen shoulder".