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The Longest Its Ever Been..

d-nihl

d-nihl

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
125
Location
New Jersey
You know when your at home kickin a habit, and at a certain point, you think 'this is the longest time ive ever made it through my withdrawals without using!!"

Unless your connect just isn't around, I guess this doesn't apply but when your honestly tryin to quit, that feeling is wonderful!!! especially when u start feeling just that tiny much bit better, you just feel like you could fuckin do it!

This is the longest ive ever been clean in years, 48 hours, and it just made me so fuckin happy to think about I had to sit my ass down and write this post!

Anyone else ever has this feeling? or how great it is when you finally do get that bag..mmmmm.....
 
Heyyy dnih I'm in the same boat!!!! I jus hit 3 days in a half hour. Ur right. It is kinda crazy. Though right now I feel loopy cause of gaba and Xanx to help me be some what functional at work. Good luck man. I need to do it and u too. We got this. We r almost there!
 
keep it going guys you got this.. i just relapsed after 6 days clean.. i am weak but we'll see what tomato brings I already used again today. look at this 3 people from jersey all trying to get clean from dope on the same thread, just goes to show how fucked this state is with dope
 
haha word, Representin Jerz for sure on this thread, Yeah last night was pretty rough, but today is much better. and I bet tonight wont be great, but tomorrow will be even easier.

Maybe this shit really does end..
 
love88 said:
Heyyy dnih I'm in the same boat!!!! I jus hit 3 days in a half hour. Ur right. It is kinda crazy. Though right now I feel loopy cause of gaba and Xanx to help me be some what functional at work. Good luck man. I need to do it and u too. We got this. We r almost there!
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yoo how you get the gaba btw??
 
just made it through night number 4!! the restlessness was brutal in the beginning, but after a little smoke I passed right out.

EDIT: I almost wanna give up today, I feel like its gonna be to rough..i got a Doc appointment for my "restless legs"

Any advice would be appreciated:

Should I say its from opiate/sub withdrawal, cuz im really trying to get something that will directly help that, from what I hear I wanna get some gabapentin, lyrica, or maybe chlonodine.

I think im gonna go in there and not say anything about the dependency issue, and just say I read online that some of these medications work, cuz I don't want ambien or anything, RLS is too strong sometimes...plus I got buds, and smoking the fuck out usually does the job.
 
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neversickanymore said:
...I would just be strait up with the dr.

Your doing it:)
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haha yeah thanks. ive had that one experience with a doc where they were EXTREMELY rude and condescending and ever since then ive always been afraid to bring it up. anyone ever have that?

also...

got mad love for the BL community...! im new here, but ive already seen a lot. ya'lls are cool.
 
^LOL^ seriously.

I just need to get a life now!! probs gonna go out and look for a job today...gotta get a fuckin girlfriend again or something...to just drive me around, haha, and cook me food. ;)<3%)

I never imagined a life without opiates. wow..
 
Uhggg fuckin failed.... That was like the longest I made it... 4 days. I have to try again soon tho I'm thinkin I should use alil sub bc when ur jus taking the gaba and the Xanx, it's to easy to say "fuck it".
 
love88 said:
Uhggg fuckin failed.... That was like the longest I made it... 4 days. I have to try again soon tho I'm thinkin I should use alil sub bc when ur jus taking the gaba and the Xanx, it's to easy to say "fuck it".
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oh noo, Love88...!! that's okay! you are strong. I know you can do it. I just had a mini mental breakdown just now, just afraid to use and thwart this many days in a row. please try again,
use the sub and ween of while u exersice, ween down low! like .5 every third day before you jump off..but think about the present, don't let this set back control you.
 
totach said:
D-nihl you seem like you realy got this this time i hope you keep it up
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thanks yo, that type of encouragement means a lot, for real. im actually going to a meeting right now. had a long talk with a life-long friend, used to run with him and now hes sober, suggested I go to a meeting and change my mental attitude towards things.
 
Thats great man bluelight really can help alot and meetings also are very helpful i dont really know your drug history or age but if this is the longest clean time you have please make sure to not put yourself in any risky situations
When programs used to tell me stay away from people places and things i used to be like fuck that if you think im never chiling with the people i grew up with again your nuts or that i cant live where i grew up then your forsure crazy but now i finally realise that what they were saying was true and i wish i woulda listened sooner.
I do still live in my neighborhood but i am taking alil break from my friends once i get to 6 months i will let myself slowly slowly make my return lol but for now i think its good for me to just focus on staying sober and work thats it nothing else i know it sounds boring but i know thats what will work for me.
I got paid today at work and started having crazy thoughts all i.need to fuck up is someone to tell me lets go cop or come with me for a ride and they go cop n then im like fuck it get me a bag.
I do not want to be in that situation i am to weak right now thats why i say 6 months hopefully by then i can say im good and actually try to help friends get clean when you have two weeks noone listens to your preaching but if you have 6 months in my opinion you have the right to preach sobriety to friends ;)
Anyways you are doing great D keep it up and never be scared to put it all on.the table here there is no place better then here to speak your mind
Have a great weekend!
 
thanks totach, that was solid.

Im the same fuckin way, but in a fucked up way when I think about myself doing it, it doesn't seem as bad, but when I see it typed out and somebody else is doing it, kind of puts it into perspective for me sometimes.

Goes the same way with the encouragement, it really hits home sometimes, if you know what I mean, even if its not directly to you, just seeing it happen, seems inspiring in early sobriety.

Both the good and the bad help me here on BL, cuz im sure im not the only one who gets that same damn mind-set erry pay-day, lookin for a ride to your closest cop spot.
 
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