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I need some advice

T

the_farklenator

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
118
Location
in the dark abyss that is my mind
So I've been stuck in the house for around 3 months now because I'm grounded (I'm 18 but still in high school) I'm grounded because it was found out that I have been smoking pot in my parents house ( yes I know his is disrespectful and don't plan on doing it again) and I hate it all I do all day is sleep and eat and browse bluelight I have nothing else to do and my parents always complain about this even though they are the reason I'm stuck in this house but time for the choices I have I can go live with my Dad whose up in Washington (state) and leave all my friends behind for the hope of a better life with him but on the flip side I've never lived with him before so I'm not sure how that would turn out but I hate my current situation I feel depressed and crazy because of what I do all day I've gained weight I'm drifting apart from my friends and I don't even talk to my mom anymore because of this please help I need some outside advice 8(
 
Go start a new life

Odds are if you stay you'll only be close with 3 of these "friends" if your lucky.

But im someone who loves change so idk just my .02
 
Okay, so I totally get how you're feeling. I've definetely felt your pain, am feeling your pain, and have kinda been through a similar situation a few times before. & I hate change as well.

First off, DAMN. 3 months is like... WAAY TOO LONG.
Dude, you're young, LIFE--that's what you got.

Weight... sucks. EXERCISE! Yoga? Anything. Youtube is free! Get into a routine so when you bounce back--your body is feeling AMAZING and you look better than ever. (yes, I know it's tough--I have similar trouble--but you gotta try dude.)

Soberness...also sucks. Hobby! What do you like to do? Maybe a job? Volunteer work? Tutor at school? Anything! Find something to do cuz you can't keep going like this.

Boredom... sucks as well. Art? Writing? Blogging? Make something? I don't know. Clean? Organize? even better.. DREAM! Business ideas? Draft your wishes and desires..plan of action. Start a diary.

Mother relationship? Trust me. It'll get better once she sees that you are TRYING to change your life around.
Because seriously, running away to your dad in *hopes of something* isn't gonna fix anything. Well, I would say, at least make an effort where you're at FIRST--before you even CONSIDER moving.....
Don't run away. Stay strong. :)
What you're going through is actually pretty normal in my book. ;P
Bounce back.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Okay, so I totally get how you're feeling. I've definetely felt your pain, am feeling your pain, and have kinda been through a similar situation a few times before. & I hate change as well.

First off, DAMN. 3 months is like... WAAY TOO LONG.
Dude, you're young, LIFE--that's what you got.

Weight... sucks. EXERCISE! Yoga? Anything. Youtube is free! Get into a routine so when you bounce back--your body is feeling AMAZING and you look better than ever. (yes, I know it's tough--I have similar trouble--but you gotta try dude.)

Soberness...also sucks. Hobby! What do you like to do? Maybe a job? Volunteer work? Tutor at school? Anything! Find something to do cuz you can't keep going like this.

Boredom... sucks as well. Art? Writing? Blogging? Make something? I don't know. Clean? Organize? even better.. DREAM! Business ideas? Draft your wishes and desires..plan of action. Start a diary.

Mother relationship? Trust me. It'll get better once she sees that you are TRYING to change your life around.
Because seriously, running away to your dad in *hopes of something* isn't gonna fix anything. Well, I would say, at least make an effort where you're at FIRST--before you even CONSIDER moving.....
Don't run away. Stay strong. :)
What you're going through is actually pretty normal in my book. ;P
Bounce back.
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thanks and there thinking until the summer and I've been feeling like this longer I've never been with my dad for more than 2 weeks at a time because of his job type and when I was younger my mom said I couldn't live with him because of his job its not that I want to run away its the fact that I want to be able to say I lived with my dad/give him the chance thank you too your post made me smile :)
 
ALL they do is joke about me being caught to like we eat dinner at the table and all they do is try to harass me about smoking weed like its a bad thing then they get made when I talk to them about their prescription anxiolytics or their anti-psychotics it makes me furious acting like they are holier then me
 
#1--Don't argue with your parents.

#2--Keep on trying. Even if you fail, 100 times-- you are increasing your chances of SUCCEEDING.

#3--No pity parties.
 
I hate to see family relationships deteriorate over pot. Most parents have so much fear about drugs that they are prone to total overreaction which rarely goes well. One of the things I would suggest is trying to initiate a conversation with your mom that starts with the sadness you feel about what is happening to your relationship. You only have three more months until school is out, so making a move now seems like a pretty big adjustment to go through for that amount of time. The more important problem seems to be the lack of trust between you and your parents. I hope that they can see the damage that is happening to their relationship with you and try to meet you halfway. If not, try to see it as a something that they are doing out of love for you, no matter how misguided or reactionary it may feel now. Lots of good parents make mistakes, usually in the name of protecting their kids, but usually out of ignorance and not intentional malice.

Out of curiosity, what is your plan for when you graduate? Will you be going away then?
 
Tell your parents to fuck off, they sound like narcissistic assholes. I mean seriously, you're 18 being held captive for 3 months? Fuck that. They have no legal rights over you anymore.
 
^They may not have legal rights but they do pay the bills. When kids live at home they are still "kids" and the parents are still in control of what goes on in their house; hopefully this will be a respectful and open relationship but if it isn't, that's the reality until you move out, are self-supporting and get to call the shots for yourself. Some kids do not finish high school until they are already 18 which seems like the case here (correct me if I'm wrong, OP). The dinner-time talk really does seem to point to your parents' insensitivity. If I were you, I would look for a sympathetic adult outside of your household, like a school counselor or a trusted Aunt or Uncle etc, that you could talk to to express your point of view and your feelings about what is going on.
 
It's one thing to abide by his parent's house rules, but being grounded for 3 months when you're 18 to me is just asinine. IMO the OP's parents don't have a very firm grip on reality.
 
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herbavore said:
I hate to see family relationships deteriorate over pot. Most parents have so much fear about drugs that they are prone to total overreaction which rarely goes well. One of the things I would suggest is trying to initiate a conversation with your mom that starts with the sadness you feel about what is happening to your relationship. You only have three more months until school is out, so making a move now seems like a pretty big adjustment to go through for that amount of time. The more important problem seems to be the lack of trust between you and your parents. I hope that they can see the damage that is happening to their relationship with you and try to meet you halfway. If not, try to see it as a something that they are doing out of love for you, no matter how misguided or reactionary it may feel now. Lots of good parents make mistakes, usually in the name of protecting their kids, but usually out of ignorance and not intentional malice.

Out of curiosity, what is your plan for when you graduate? Will you be going away then?
Click to expand...
My plans for when I graduated was to go to live with my dad anyways because I see more a future for myself there instead of living in this small town with nothing around it and I was going to go to college to major in either Pharmaceutical chemistry or a branch of psychology
 
Well, those things both sound good (talking to your Dad and your plans to move). Here is something you could try with your parents while you are still there: tell them that you have done what they asked (stopped smoking and gone along with the 'grounding' but you would like for them to stop throwing things back in your face and try to use the last three months that you will live with them in a way that you can all feel good about. All this advice I am giving you is based on assuming that your mom and step-dad are decent people and decent parents that are just really misguided when it comes to the difference between autocratic control and letting their kid grow up and make his own choices. Maybe they are not and none of us on here can really know that. The question to ask yourself is whether you want a continuing relationship with them in the future. Because when you get down to it there is practically no family that does not struggle through the adolescent years. The difference is in the relative healthiness of the struggle and that all depends on communication. My son and I fought a lot about drugs. But the bottom line was that we knew we loved each other and that when push came to shove (mostly in the form of the law) we, his family, had his back more than anyone else.
 
Well if you ask me they won't listen to reason they are treating it like I was selling it or doing a worse drug it doesn't make sense and yes I understand the legality of it and the consequences of doing so and they don't seem to get that I understood these things and they keep asking me why I don't feel bad about it
 
Sounds like your parents are at the very least controlling as hell and at worst manipulative assholes. If you agreed to not smoke weed in their house and haven't IMO being grounded for 3 months is total overkill. I guess you really have two options... Either move out or just ignore their grounding and go out of the house when you want to anyways hoping they don't kick you out. Just don't smoke weed in their house. That's just what I would do anyways.
 
nygiants1313 said:
Go start a new life

Odds are if you stay you'll only be close with 3 of these "friends" if your lucky.

But im someone who loves change so idk just my .02
Click to expand...


im the same way lol...im in and out, the pull-out king. haha no but im always dippin, chasin the next mission.
 
On the bright side, OP, you've found a good place to vent, learned a little more about the absurdity of life (and parent relationships) and made some new friends here. If you think about it, "kid gets grounded for three months for smoking pot, spends all his time on a drug website" is hilariously absurd. Too bad your parents can't see the humor in it and lighten up.=D
 
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