Diazepam Dependency - When does it start, what are the signs of it

[Youpi]

Hi everyone.

I won't go on a long rant about the last 7 years where I mostly used weed daily, and for the last 3 years I have been doing mad stim sessions.
It's been since January that I'm trying to get a grasp on myself and I actually am weed-free for a week, for the second time ever for years (First time was 2 weeks and half in January).

I am being prescribed Diazepam, 40mg / day for years, mainly because I was tricking the doctors to prescribe me benzos to fight the stims comedown.
So I would take like 140mg at the end of a 5 days session and never took some everyday/regulary.

Since January, as I said, I am going clean and I'm staying over at my grandma.
The 40mg / day dose was because I really tricked the doctor, I'm trying to stay at 10mg in the morning (or 20 on a stressful day), and sometimes I redose 10mg during the day.

I don't take them to achieve a "high" rather than to be functional: with the stress, it gets hard for me to do freelance programming and I'm much more open-hearted about my previous condition of a junkie when I'm on it, for exemple.

I must say I have done 70g meph session and done withdrawals within 3 days, I almost fell into Morhine addiction when being prescribzed 700mg / week for a bit more than a month.

So I am worried, if I keep going like this (same dosage, since I really don't want to achieve a high), will I get fucked at some point ?

Regards,

 

[cook]

If you take them daily you are at high risk of getting fucked.

Try to find other means coping with stress, benzos only get you so far and then everything will come back with a vengeance. At least space it out, do not take them every day. Days in between and occasionally couple weeks off would be a lot better. You are worried for a reason, benzos are forgiving to a point which varies a lot but its nastier than almost anything else when you reach that point and get dependent.

 

[Youpi]

Yes I started taking them daily because it makes me functional.

My work is to do computer programming and for exemple on benzos if I have a program I fear I can't code / don't have the required skills, I'll just leave it or it will be very hard for me to get working on it and do the research in order to get the skills.

I usually had a couple weeks off but yeah, since mid-January I am taking them daily - but with a week break.

I looked up the WDs symptoms and I have none, so I think I'm ok. I'll try to delay the next prescription.

There is also the fact that some people find 40mg HUGE amount, while it almost does nothing to me.
FYI I just took 40mg with 1unit of beer and I barely feel something.
And 20mg is what's required to feel 100% stress-free
10mg will be OK-ish but stressful situation will bring anxiety.
And 5mg just does fuck all.

AND I never EVER abused benzos. I don't understand. My doctors neither, I'm obligated to lie to them in order to get 40mg prescribed otherwise it's like 20mg max.

 

[Parabolan]

Do not take them everyday

 

[Youpi]

I will try not to during the next days.. will see how it goes.
Just had 30mg more and another unit.

Do I have a mad natural benzo tolerance ?

 

[bdomihizayka]

Some people, like myself, develop physical addiction to benzos fairly quickly- I was addicted to 1mg of klonopin after only 2 weeks use and the withdrawal was hell. You would have to be off the valium for at least 5 days in my experiece to begin to see withdrawal symptoms- with it peaking around 10 days.

I would quit the benzos whilst you're ahead. Soon enough, you're going to need them to just roll out of bed - without any anti-anxiety effects- just to stave off a horrendous withdrawal.

I would rather withdrawal from any given opiate/opioid for a month straight than withdrawal from a benzo for a week- just to put things into perspective for you of how serious it is.




And about valium - 20mg = 1mg klonopin = 1mg xanax = 1mg ativan..... so your 40mg = 2mg of klonopin, xanax, and ativan- it's a moderate dose, but not obscenely high. Don't let the high number fool you.

 

[Youpi]

5 days to begin to see the withdrawals symptoms, really ?

Well I'm gonna see how it goes, I'm gonna reduce as much as I can.

Since Xanax has a less long half life, should I ask my GP to replace my Diaz with Xanax instead ?
I don't know if it will suit me regarding the anti-anxiety effect.

 

[Youpi]

Just one more question:
If you can't take them everyday, what are benzos for ?

My mother has a bipolar disorder and is on a variety of benzos for more than 20 years, and she sees a psychologist every month.
She never said anything about addiction, and it seems like her medication is still working. (She is also on SSRIs, though)

If I need the Valium to function / work, how should I be able to take 5-10days breaks ?

 

[pally pete]

Some people, like myself, develop physical addiction to benzos fairly quickly- I was addicted to 1mg of klonopin after only 2 weeks use and the withdrawal was hell. You would have to be off the valium for at least 5 days in my experiece to begin to see withdrawal symptoms- with it peaking around 10 days.

I would quit the benzos whilst you're ahead. Soon enough, you're going to need them to just roll out of bed - without any anti-anxiety effects- just to stave off a horrendous withdrawal.

I would rather withdrawal from any given opiate/opioid for a month straight than withdrawal from a benzo for a week- just to put things into perspective for you of how serious it is.




And about valium - 20mg = 1mg klonopin = 1mg xanax = 1mg ativan..... so your 40mg = 2mg of klonopin, xanax, and ativan- it's a moderate dose, but not obscenely high. Don't let the high number fool you.

Q.F.T

5 days to begin to see the withdrawals symptoms, really ?

Well I'm gonna see how it goes, I'm gonna reduce as much as I can.

Since Xanax has a less long half life, should I ask my GP to replace my Diaz with Xanax instead ?
I don't know if it will suit me regarding the anti-anxiety effect.

No, Xanax withdrawal is more brutal (Shorter but more dangerous) than Diazepam withdrawal. IMO/IME

 

[cook]

Just one more question:
If you can't take them everyday, what are benzos for ?

My mother has a bipolar disorder and is on a variety of benzos for more than 20 years, and she sees a psychologist every month.
She never said anything about addiction, and it seems like her medication is still working. (She is also on SSRIs, though)

If I need the Valium to function / work, how should I be able to take 5-10days breaks ?

They are for short term or infrequent treatment for various conditions. The reason you see older people with very long benzo history is because they were initially thought to be suitable for long term use, just like heroin was not supposed to be addictive at all. The cycle repeats in medicine indefinitely. This is not the case any more as the experience shows. There are other medications to control anxiety long term, though all have their downsides. If you feel like you absolutely need benzos to function every day, multiply what you are feeling by 10x and then try to function. This is where the benzo road often leads, increasing the symptoms originally prescribed for and the withdrawal lasts for fucking years at worst, which is no joke really. If it would be as easy as getting off opioids then why not to use, but it comes as surprise for many ppl that the severe WD actually lasts from months to years after long term use, up to 5 years, and sometimes after short periods (couple months or less) of medicinal use too if you happen to be unlucky.

 

[Youpi]

Well I'm gonna discuss all this with my psy and see what he says

Thanks for your input

 

[SixBuckets]

Just one more question:
If you can't take them everyday, what are benzos for ?

My mother has a bipolar disorder and is on a variety of benzos for more than 20 years, and she sees a psychologist every month.
She never said anything about addiction, and it seems like her medication is still working. (She is also on SSRIs, though)

If I need the Valium to function / work, how should I be able to take 5-10days breaks ?

I've been self-managing a benzo prescription for legitimate symptoms for twelve years. I rarely use them more than once a month, as I only use them to control unmanagable symptoms.

I have a pretty dim view of people who 'trick' doctors into prescribing them so they can use them recreationally in large doses. This is a major reason why people with actual reasons to use benzos and the ability to not exceed their prescribed dose are unable to get hold of their medication.

 

[Youpi]

I've been self-managing a benzo prescription for legitimate symptoms for twelve years. I rarely use them more than once a month, as I only use them to control unmanagable symptoms.

I have a pretty dim view of people who 'trick' doctors into prescribing them so they can use them recreationally in large doses. This is a major reason why people with actual reasons to use benzos and the ability to not exceed their prescribed dose are unable to get hold of their medication.

I was young and dumb.
Also, this is France, ask for Xanax or Diaz and you get it.

One more question:
Would it better to break my doses of 10mg 4 times a day, or 20mg two time a day ? To make my stash last

 

[TheLostBoys]

I took 2mgs of Ativan once or twice with vicodin mixed in & 2 days later, I couldn't remember the past 2 days.......so 2mgs Ativan is = 40mgs Valium........for some reason, 10mgs Valium will have me smashed.......I guess its different for everyone.

Like others have said tho, benzos are nothing to fool around with.......definitely rather go thru opiate addiction than a benzo addiction.