Booze has led me to the following:
- Loss of license x 2 (Am currently on an 18 suspension for high range drink driving and having a accident. I denied I was at fault for the accident as the lady in front hit the breaks as she missed a turn. However it's my fault that I was drinking.)
- Car accidents x 2 (Drove into a parked van and drove off first time. Second time I hit a barrier)
- Debt (Borrowing money to get drunk then not being able to pay people back. My debt list is long
And it's even worse now because of this last accident where I will probably have to pay 14 grand to the insurance company. I already owe $1700 in fines
- Loss of good relationships (I've had opportunities to grow more meaningful relationships with some decent people unfortunately because of booze I drifted from these people. I tend to find myself these days most comfortable with other alcoholics
- Psychological problems (Many suicide attempts plus the onset of depression which I've been battling as a kid. Sometimes the booze affects this other times it doesn't. The worse thing though that has stemmed from booze is the anxiety. I feel like a walking vegetable at times and do very little with my time but play video games on the phone.
- Lying (Always lying to people about who I am. Well not to everyone just my parents really.)
- Loss of money (I could of already had a deposit for a unit like my friends by now if I didn't have a $300 drink and cigarette habbit.)
- Loss of time (Since finishing my Masters degree 3 years ago I've barely worked much and when I have because of my drinking which makes me anxious my work has suffered.)
- Health (Weight gain of 40kg although I attribute this more to the antidepressant I was on for a while aka Lexapro. I also got told I have diabetes although the last blood test showed otherwise)
- Gambling (When drinking at a club and I get too drunk I tend to gamble and lose the lot)
Yet due to a physiological dependence on the liquid I seem to can't get off it no matter however many times I try. I've done AA, seen therapists, seen a drug and alcohol counsellor, tried meds and I fail. Am 30 now and I really just want my life back and yet the discomfort of change makes me not act accordingly or how I used to be able to when I was younger aka several years ago.
I wish prohibition was back as this liquid poison is a piece of shit. It's fucken ruined so many things for me over the years and yet tomorrow I will probably pick up another beer and hide some where to have a drink.
