AgonyAndEcstasy781
Bluelighter
My deal was I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease at age 11. I was misdiagnosed for over two years so I had severe Crohn's disease. despite growing up with Crohn's and being in a lot of pain I never so much as took tylenol. then when I turned age 22 I was in and out of the emergency room basically every other week. I was insanely sick. then one time I happen to get a female doctor and she asked me what I take for pain and I told her that I have never taken as much as even tylenol while growing up. She then asked me, "Well what about when you're in the hospital, what do you take for pain? I told her that I have never taken any pain medication in my life. She replied youve had Crohn's disease for 11 years and never taken any pain medication?!" So once again I told her that I've never taken anything, not even tylenol, and she was amazed. So what does she do? She orders me some IV morphine and then sends me home on a script for vicodin. The IV morphine made me totally euphoric. Anyway, that is how it all started as far as my pain med issues go. vicodin led to oxycodone, and eventually oxycodone led to dilaudid. THEN I'd start getting IV dilaudid when I was hospitalized, and that stuff put me in heaven! It was unreal. Well that led to my tolerance to go up and up and up and up until it got to a crazy point. for the last 5 years, everytime I've gone in the hospital, the doctors and nurses can't or don't believe the amount of IV dilaudid that I have to take to get any relief. It almost always turns into a big to do / argument. It has become something I dread to deal with when I go into the hospital. That is another reason that I want to get off of it. I would need about 6 or 7 milligrams of IV dilaudid per hour to get any relief, and I'm a sickly 124 lbs male. . . (6'0" feet tall). so they don't understand how my body can take such high doses and still function totally fine. BUT all it took was that lady ER Doctor to start me on a vicodin script at age 22 and it ended up sending me down the opiate road of hell. But I never ever abused that shit until just this year. . .14 years down the line. Unreal. I had to have a PICC line put in and sent home on home health care. Well, I was depressed as hell, soooo bored, hurting so bad, and I got the brilliant idea of, "Hey, I have hundreds of sterile saline flushes, I have dilaudid pills, and I have a direct line in my huge vein so I won't even have to stick myself. Screw it. I hurting so I am ONLY going to try injecting a few times!" Long story short, PICC got infected with Staph and I got super sick. They pulled my PICC and I came clean to the docs about injecting into it. I swear to them I was done with that stupid shit, and I really did mean it! But a month down the road I am at home, depressed, hurting like hell and go the needle route. Wish I had never even tried that. My arm veins are so screwed. I also got busted by my family and I felt like a piece of shit. . .yet I still do it once again. I hate the damn catch 22 that you spoke about!! I have the same exact situation.
Got that sounds like a hellish existence, makes me feel like a douche for getting wrapped up in pain pills simply because I wanted to catch a buzz. Must be truly awful having to deal with severe pain and also struggle with opiate addiction, i can't even imagine...