Weren't you the guy saying you start your day by taking a piss and then immediately commencing to drink?
I'm him! But my remark was facetious, man. The point was to illustrate that I drink quite a bit, and without any consideration to the time of day. Why? Well, without sounding too nauseatingly saccharine and pitifully emotional, one may think that I like to drink because I dislike not drinking.
Oh, and the libation's pot-vivant effect is greatly potentiated when experienced by the a psychopathologically worrisome winebibber; on par with onanism, easily.
Your posts have a bizarre, surreal, inflammatory quality to them and you seem obsessed with justifying your alcohol intake. I don't even knew if you're kidding or not sometimes.
I would say that a majority of my posts I've ever submitted on BL were indited whilst drunk, high on some other downer (e.g., benzodiazepines, barbiturates, quinazolinones, and/or a gallimaufry of other pharmacologically-similar, yet chemically distinct, medicaments), or, usually, both.
I'd lay off the sauce for a while, judging by your posts and your alcohol intake you're well on your way to damaging yourself.
What you would, wouldn't, or might do is your own prerogative, führer. I was a damaged neurotic before the drugs. With the drugs, I'm only a depraved dipsomaniac.
Wanna see what chronic alcoholism gets you?
No, but I've got a disquieting feeling you'll still tell me. *Yawn*, another unsolicited pious harangue, another loathsome day. Where's my drink? May I at least have a few shots before you kill my buzz and scold me dead, Chairman?
Have you ever heard that song, 'From Here to Eternity', by Giorgio Moroder? Or 20/20's song, 'Yellow Pills'? Great songs, man. That's the salubrious effect downers (to wit: GABAA recepter agonists and positive allosteric modulators) give me, only not in song form.
I don't need to be patronised, castigated, admonished, punished, pitied, disdained, and most especial of all, helped. I am not some drowning dumbass who slipped and fell into a pool of liquor, desperately wanting you to toss me a life jacket or flotation device.
My life is and has no ever been a life worth the energy, time, and reason to endeavor living. I have been plagued by severe anxiety, chronic insomnia, agoraphobia, OCD, a pastiche of pangs and , etc etc etc. Years of therapy (from an 8yr old to now—less than a month shy of my 21st birthday), SSRIs, good sleep hygiene, mindfulness, meditation, religion—I've tried and am trying them all. The effectiveness is nowhere to be seen.
I've asked God for his aid, but alas, dis aliter visum. Otherwise there's no personal God(s) (or Gods at all) to beseech, or he's deaf or apathetic.
What has worked most? Unsurprisingly, concomitant administration of anxiolytics and somnifacients. Why must my life be in a state of abject misery because you, and too many others, think their own ideas of risk vs reward are objective enough to force feed to others?
I'm not you (thank God!), so I would be obliged if you'd attempt not to be so hubristic and supercilious to think your notions and experiences are more important or valid than my own. I find it grotesque and impudent. And redolent of an officious, prudent nanny that won't shut the fuck up and leave me to be myself.