Crushed

[keeping]

It was all back on track - well not fantastic, but you know - I had an end goal.
Now she's moving to the other end of the country, back with her family and I don't know.
I don't have the funds to follow, and plus my education; but like a 2:1 from a former polytechnic is gonna get me far.
I suppose in the end we're all running from something.
All I want for her is to be happy, I just hoped that maybe I could have done that. I won't ask her to stay.

Because I care about her feelings more than I care about mine.

I just want out, I'm too numb even to cry.

I just want out guys.

 

[T. Calderone]

You have to look at it like this: even if you were able to follow her across country, there's no guarantee you would stay together. Have you talked about possibly maintaining a long distance relationship or is that out of the question?

 

[traybuck]

It truly sucks losing someone you love to be with. Hang in there dude it will get easier with time..like the op^ said any chance at long distance relationship with this girl?

 

[Allein]

From you're posts I guess you're in the UK so I doubt she's more than 3-4 hours away at the most. My partner went to University a good many miles away whilst I was already starting my career (I'll call it that for the sake of argument) including her gap year it was 4 long years but we managed, 'love finds a way and all that more than 25 years later we are still together.

Don't be despondent, if you truly want the relationship to continue be positive

 

[keeping]

thanks for the words of support guys, just got back from A&E. had a moment of madness and vertically slit my wrists. i'm fine now, and will take everything you've all said into account]

love you all

 

[Maya]

You have to look at it like this: even if you were able to follow her across country, there's no guarantee you would stay together. Have you talked about possibly maintaining a long distance relationship or is that out of the question?

I agree on this post. I was in a similar situation with my now live in partner. He lived in a different province so we have decided to jyst stay at friends but we did keep in contact. This was 2006 and after several yrs we started talking again and he has decided to move herr with me. It really depends if she will want a long distance relationship but you have to also take into consideration that some things are not going to work and you should just accept it. Let us know how your conversation goes with her.

 

[keeping]

I agree on this post. I was in a similar situation with my now live in partner. He lived in a different province so we have decided to jyst stay at friends but we did keep in contact. This was 2006 and after several yrs we started talking again and he has decided to move herr with me. It really depends if she will want a long distance relationship but you have to also take into consideration that some things are not going to work and you should just accept it. Let us know how your conversation goes with her.

*trigger warning*

well, here's the narrative. it makes for an interesting read if you've nothing else to do

her family is from Cornwall, which from London is far far away but still inside the country. i live in London and met her there at a fashion show, she blew me away, she truly was the most beautiful soul i had ever met, and we connected before we even spoke. but i knew she had a past, she was running from something, or someone back home in her home town. she went home for christmas and told me she was coming back after seeing all her relatives. on the day of her return i answered the door and it was her and her aunt there to collect her things and move her back to her parent's in Cornwall. she said the past month of her being home made her realise how much she missed all her favourite people (present company excluded), and how they are are really what being at home means to her. she knows i can't come with her because of my job and my uni and that she loved me more than anything in the world, but she came to London for all the wrong reasons, to escape something, or someone, and how it made her feel and how it was wrong to do.

she is really broken, and she really needs to fix herself. she took my number and promised to always have keep it, but deleted hers off my phone. i have no way of contacting her. i don't think ill ever see her again. she said she was sorry, and doesn't want me give me a false hope of something happening, when this really seems like a goodbye.

i kissed her, i smelt her hair, she smelled so good, and she and her aunt went to the door and closed it. i turned around, walked into the kitchen, took a serrated blade from the knife board and vertically opened my wrist over the sink. i was considering ODing, but my benzo tolerance is sky high so probably would have just been a waste of good drugs.

i have no idea how i am still here, nor do i particularly want to be. and Sash, if you're reading this, whenever the morning birds sing, and the sky pinks a little, and i think 'oh shit I only have 2 and a half hours before work', i'll be thinking of you.

 

[Maya]

That was really a very emotional post and i am so sorry that you feel that way, but it is still not a reason to end your life over someone. I have had a broken heart and like anyone else who has been deeply in love and got hurt and never thought i wouldnt be able to get over that dreadful feeling, here I am, stronger than ever. This is probly cliche but time heals, you might still have the scar of the past but you can look at it to always remind you that you have survived, at least thats how i see mine.

 

[keeping]

thank you, on the plus side, pain meds for my wounds (woo).
i know how time heals, i'm just so scared of getting hurt again, i don't think i'll ever have enough time to be comfortable enough to let someone in like that again, yet conversely, an eternity alone terrifies me.

but im rambling, and intoxicated.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Keeping

I am so sorry for what you're going through

I was alone for a long time after a 7 year relationship ended

It was so hard on me and I am so thankful I am still alive

Whether or not she was the one - there is someone out there who will make you happy again

You're such a gifted writer, and I would miss you

 

[Captain.Heroin]

*trigger warning*

well, here's the narrative. it makes for an interesting read if you've nothing else to do

her family is from Cornwall, which from London is far far away but still inside the country. i live in London and met her there at a fashion show, she blew me away, she truly was the most beautiful soul i had ever met, and we connected before we even spoke. but i knew she had a past, she was running from something, or someone back home in her home town. she went home for christmas and told me she was coming back after seeing all her relatives. on the day of her return i answered the door and it was her and her aunt there to collect her things and move her back to her parent's in Cornwall. she said the past month of her being home made her realise how much she missed all her favourite people (present company excluded), and how they are are really what being at home means to her. she knows i can't come with her because of my job and my uni and that she loved me more than anything in the world, but she came to London for all the wrong reasons, to escape something, or someone, and how it made her feel and how it was wrong to do.

she is really broken, and she really needs to fix herself. she took my number and promised to always have keep it, but deleted hers off my phone. i have no way of contacting her. i don't think ill ever see her again. she said she was sorry, and doesn't want me give me a false hope of something happening, when this really seems like a goodbye.

i kissed her, i smelt her hair, she smelled so good, and she and her aunt went to the door and closed it. i turned around, walked into the kitchen, took a serrated blade from the knife board and vertically opened my wrist over the sink. i was considering ODing, but my benzo tolerance is sky high so probably would have just been a waste of good drugs.

i have no idea how i am still here, nor do i particularly want to be. and Sash, if you're reading this, whenever the morning birds sing, and the sky pinks a little, and i think 'oh shit I only have 2 and a half hours before work', i'll be thinking of you.

If it's any consolation, I would have felt equally devastated

I probably would have self injured to
That doesn't make it good, but I know those feelings

It's a constant battle to not let the feelings win for me

You can always PM me when you are feeling this way

If there's anything I can say to help I would love to try

 

[keeping]

If it's any consolation, I would have felt equally devastated

I probably would have self injured to
That doesn't make it good, but I know those feelings

It's a constant battle to not let the feelings win for me

You can always PM me when you are feeling this way

If there's anything I can say to help I would love to try

thank you, it means so much. my wrists are healing nicely PLUS my grandmammy said she'd pay for tattoo's to cover the scars.
you've all be so inspirational, i'm still on the brink, but you make everyday worthwhile.

... and I would miss you

and I you, friend.