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Poppy seed tea being cheap and borderline legal is ruining me - need strategy to quit

bdomihizayka

bdomihizayka

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Joined
Jul 30, 2012
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The game changed as soon as I discovered poppy seed tea. It's borderline legal and cheap.

Therein lies my problem.

I could talk myself out of coping pills or heroin because of the legalities, price, inconsistency in product, etc. But with poppy seeds, I can buy them in the supermarket I buy my usual food - I can get them damn near anywheres. I cannot AVOID them.


And now it's ruining my life I guess- I cannot stop.


Any advice - everything changed as soon as I discovered these bastards.

I am honestly on the verge of suicide. I cannot stand up to my cravings when the high is legal and cheap and so goddamn readily available. I may actually go through on it.
 
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So would a place like wallmart or HEB have those? I only ask because I'm in horrible withdrawal from hydromorphone and this would be helpful.
Sorry to hear about it destroying you shits hard to quite when its all around you.
 
Thats tough because you will have the problem for a long time. You could try going on subs or methadone but I dont know if your problem is even remotely there as I have no understanding of PST, just heroin and oxy. Do you have intense withdrawals? I would say if you can manage through them and seperate yourself from the seeds for a little you'll end up ok. Its probably dependant on where you live as I do not see them where I am. So the good news is when you are financially able you can move away from the seeds and have them fade into the past. Then you can live in fear of your wife (or life partner) wanting to live near the dreaded life destroying seeds (my lame attempt at a joke because being afraid of seeds sounds funny to me)

But seriously you either need to avoid them, move, or get on something to help. I would strongly recommend suffering through it maybe have a good friend you need to report to, I find it easier to keep to things if i have to tell someone i fucked up. Good luck dude, your life is worth more then a few seeds. Also lol at the post above mine, classic junkie stuff right there. "dude sorry about your life destroying problem, but theres seeds that can get you high? could you show me where?"
 
bdomihizayka said:
And now it's ruining my life I guess- I cannot stop.



I am honestly on the verge of suicide. I cannot stand up to my cravings when the high is legal and cheap and so goddamn readily available. I may actually go through on it.
Click to expand...

@lazylazyjoe, did you miss this part of his post?

OP, I guess you have to see it like an alcoholic sees it: it's legal and it is readily available but that means dealing with it like any other addiction with that layer added into the mix. Since I am a strong proponent of every drug being legal, this is interesting to me. It really does remove one layer that might act as a deterrent for some people. I guess the reason I still come down on the everything-legal side is that the opposite (making drug addiction a criminal offense) ruins more lives more effectively and permanently than drugs do.

What have you tried as far as committing to a plan to stop? It sounds like you are near a breaking point and that is often a place of motivation if you can push the fatalism in your thinking aside (herculean task, I realize). Get outside support in whatever ways you can.
 
Hey buddy,dont try so hard to quit kinda just slowly cut back.u may be increasing the cravings because all the anxiety of trying to stop completely.just enjoy them and slowly cut back week to week and then start days off and since price and legality are not an issue this shouldnt be a problem.just take it easy and enjoy the last few months of the drug and when u feel ready after the taper try switching the use with a hobby u enjoy or workout. Good luck %)
 
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It's that the main issues with addiction are usually availability,money,& legality. Also, opiates are a functional drug,unlike alcohol, so you can do your dose and go about your day. It's kind of like being on a methadone clinic, but you don't have to go to the clinic every day.

I genuinely wanted to know how it was ruining the OP's life in this situation. Is it just a self-esteem issue, or are there other aspects of his life that are being affected?
 
a drug compulsion can be looked at analogous to a lot of things like turning down sex you shouldnt have or anxiety attacks.

Everytime the compulsion to use pops in your mind, just take each step at a time. Say this time, im stopping myself. And distract yourself.

Ever heard the phrase, "how do you eat an elephant? ..one step at a time." :)
 
Something about it taking away my ambtions.

I used to love making music and playing guitar.

I used to love chasing girls.

I used to love working on my cars.

I used to love to write.

I used to love to travel.

It sucks everything right on out of me - I have NO hopes, dreams and aspirations anymore at all....and because of that, I want off.

I do suffer withdrawals....

I am a huge proponent of legalizing everything as well, because of the legal consequences messing up loves moreso than the drugs in most cases.



But I cannot stop this cycle. It's too readily available - I feel doomed....and as soon as I get that money I'm owed, I feel like I'm going to get some bullets and end it. I have noone to talk too- my 2 best friends died 3 months ago a week apart from an overdose. I am so fucking lonely I just need one caring person.


I'm sorry for the me me me look at me I'm suffering angle, I truly do-

I'm just venting
 
You have nothing to be sorry about. Losing two good friends just three months ago is a terrible loss and makes perfect sense that you would be plunged into deep suffering over that alone. But the fact that they died of overdose and you are feeling powerless over your own use must add terror and helpless feelings as well as simple grief.

It makes sense to be in a "me me me" state when you are trying to save your own life. A good place to start might simply be to acknowledge the enormity of your loss and let yourself feel as bad as you do without making the assumption that this will be forever. Even the most painful grief shifts and changes and morphs. Life can hold the terrible and the wonderful side by side. Venting is good.<3

You can regain your life (your motivation) but it will take faith on your part. Being in such early days of trauma is bound to affect your faith in yourself. Go slowly, be gentle and try to build it back up from within. If you can force yourself to do one thing, make it writing. Write as honestly as you can, just for you.
 
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Ive had buddies OD. Alcohol and nitrous made it seem like it wasnt happening to me.

It sucks to realize your connected to that shit.

Its hard to rise above third person and put it into perspective.

Realize other people will feel the same you do now if you were to OD.

Be careful with the morphine. Theres nothing wrong with drugs.

Reminds me of a Courtney Love quote: "I always just loved the feeling. Kurt was always seeking oblivion"

Or a john lennon quote: "Dont get fooled by dope and cocaine, its okay feel your own pain"

Think through why all the shits bothering you BEFORE you dose a drug. That should sort it out.

good luck.
 
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Oh also, realize if you have insurance, hospitals will give you things like valium. You dont have to go the rehab route. Its legal.

Or look up a close by shrink. If you have money for groceries you could probably afford appointments. They could give you something like nerontin.

If youre having trouble quitting, get the small bottles of valerian root and advil pm.
 
Hey I started out with pst a decade ago. Eventually switched to poppy pod tea. I had the same problem, the borderline legality and constant supply, delivery straight to me, no dealer. I actually convinced myself it wasn't that bad. But I was a full blown addict for ten plus years. I got on suboxone and am currently tapering down. It honestly saved my life. Maybe you should go this route? Although at my clinic they had not heard of ppt or kratom (which I was trying to taper with). So I just told them how much methadone it took to hold me (which I sometimes had access to). Good lucK!
 
You could do this ^, OP, or you could also go the loperamide route. There is lots of info on loperamide here. The only problem is that it can be addictive itself and is also OTC.
 
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