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ex husband getting married and can't help the feelings...

ihearthemoose

ihearthemoose

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 3, 2014
Messages
469
Location
candylnd, ny
My idiot ex husband is getting married on new years. AS recent as 2 weeks ago he was sending me pics of his junk. I can't help but be sad and fucking pissed off because he keeps fucking with my head. We have a 5 year old together. I want him to stop fucking with my head.
 
that's a tough situation especially considering he's sending those kinda pics to you still. i feel bad for his new wife. he'll only keep fucking with you as much as you allow it, you know? sounds cliche but it's the truth. be happy you're moving on with your life, maybe with someone loyal in the future? don't look back anymore, just try harder to look ahead and once you've decided you're done with him for good, cut him off. you deserve better than that mind fuckery. i'm sorry and know it must be a pain in the ass (heart?) to let go of. <3
 
adrenalinerushes said:
that's a tough situation especially considering he's sending those kinda pics to you still. i feel bad for his new wife. he'll only keep fucking with you as much as you allow it, you know? sounds cliche but it's the truth. be happy you're moving on with your life, maybe with someone loyal in the future? don't look back anymore, just try harder to look ahead and once you've decided you're done with him for good, cut him off. you deserve better than that mind fuckery. i'm sorry and know it must be a pain in the ass (heart?) to let go of. <3
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Thank you . You have no idea how much I needed to read that.
 
of course, you're welcome. i'm really glad i could help out. if you ever feel like venting or just want to chat you can always message me. girl talk or whatever :) anyway i really am glad to know that was useful to you.. i believe you're above what he's doing and he needs to stop messing with people's heads, focus on how to maturely and appropriately communicate with you regarding your child together and hopefully he can see that it's time to stop the bs and focus on his new relationship so that you can move on. i hope this happens sooner than later.
 
I do as well. Unfortunately I will have to have him in my life as we have a child together. If he doesn't stop with his bullshit I'm going to tell his new wife. I just don't care about his consequences. If he really loved her he would leave me the fuck alone . We have been divorced for 2 years and he still tries to have sex with me. Pathetic. A year ago this would make me go out and get fucked up. And of course thats what I want to do now but I know the outcome of that
 
ihearthemoose said:
My idiot ex husband is getting married on new years. AS recent as 2 weeks ago he was sending me pics of his junk. I can't help but be sad and fucking pissed off because he keeps fucking with my head. We have a 5 year old together. I want him to stop fucking with my head.
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Ignore him, even if you have to pretend. Some men, like your husband has huge egos and they don´t like to be ignored. Try to find someone you can trust and talk to. It will help you immensely!
 
Erikmen said:
Ignore him, even if you have to pretend. Some men, like your husband has huge egos and they don´t like to be ignored. Try to find someone you can trust and talk to. It will help you immensely!
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this is very true!

and i agree with the idea of talking with his new wife. i think any woman would want to know if her soon to be husband was doing what your ex is doing.
like i said before, i do feel bad for her!

so you're sober now and used to use, if i'm reading correctly?
 
Yes sober now. I was an alcoholic for many years. And I've come to grips with that, you're right about the huge ego thing and that is him. Huge ego and mind of a 12 year old. I knew he was getting married, but it hit hard hearing it was happening so soon. Especially because he is always flirting with me and trying to fuck me! I think you guys are right I need to ignore this shit and try to move forward. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year a few weeks ago and am alone.
 
i'm sorry to hear about your bf situation but being alone isn't always as bad as people make it out to be. maybe you can use this time to focus on yourself and that's usually always a good thing. i'm glad to hear that you're sober now from alcoholism. sounds like a really awful addiction and habit to cut out of your life but since you've done something like that, i imagine you are pretty tough because that's not easy, alcohol is terrible and i've seen it ruin so much for people. props to you for being sober for what sounds like a good amount of time! it can be tempting to fall into old patterns of flirting with an ex when you're lonely/alone, i know it is. but you'll be way proud of yourself for not engaging in his mind games anymore. sounds like he wants to be in control and you're on the verge of taking back the control and really showing him, and more importantly yourself, that you are above his small minded ego trip. egotistical people... ugh. i'm sure he'll be upset that you're choosing to not let him control the situation and your feelings, and he'll maybe even be pissed but don't let that stop you. you can use that as a sign that your plan to move on and be more mature than him is working. i hope you can come to a point where you can remain civil in regards to your little one. may take some time but i'm rooting for you!
 
People are going to do what they're going to do, they can change but on the whole don't unless they really want to themselves and are commited to it.

Spending your life trying to force people to change is always going to be like trying to pour water uphill, much easier to just accept you're unlikely to change them and surround yourself with people who are going to fit in with what you want instead. It might be hard to accept/break your heart sometimes, but it makes life much less painful in the long run.
 
He's fucking with your head because somewhere along the line, you allowed it, and you continue to allow it. If he's being an ass and sending pics of his junk and trying to get you to sleep with him, I'd just tell him flat out to stop. You want no communication with him period, unless it involves your child and if it goes beyond that, you WILL send copies of everything to his lovely new wife (and remember, she can deal with his BS, you don't have to anymore) and might consult a lawyer about harassment. My ex was doing this until I did just that. Of course I'd not contact a lawyer, but he didn't know that. I threatened him with a harassment suit as well as involving the police if he continued to send unsolicited garbage like that and he stopped. Have barely talked to him in the past 2 years, even with issues regarding our son. Life is so much more peaceful without him popping up whenever he felt like it :)
 
Do you have the custody of your daughter?

If you do,then you should announce him that one more of those little "episodes" and youll have a lawyer to arrange that he wont see her for a long long time(you have evidence and all to make a case of sexual harrasment and lack of parental skills) .

Im not talking about pity threats here,i think that your daughter deserves better anyway,so do you.

Make it clear that you wont be a victim of harassment,and that if he continues to jeopardize your sobriety with his inappropriate behaviour,youll take action immediately!
 
Yeah I never looked at it that way . My mom tells me it Will run its course and eventually he will get what he deserves. Yes I do believe in karma but i think you guys are right . Thanks to all of you for the support !!
 
Ya that suxks and he sounds very immature to maybe a point he is getting married to piss you off

Ugh I really feeel for you I can barely handle breaking up adrenaline is right focus on you and don't worry about those pics

Makes him look like a bigger waste of time,ignore him block his texts if u can and email and well except for number cuz of child

Hope you feel better and just know he is doing this outnof anger and insecurity distance yourself as much as possible
 
black kat said:
Do you have the custody of your daughter?

If you do,then you should announce him that one more of those little "episodes" and youll have a lawyer to arrange that he wont see her for a long long time(you have evidence and all to make a case of sexual harrasment and lack of parental skills) .

Im not talking about pity threats here,i think that your daughter deserves better anyway,so do you.

Make it clear that you wont be a victim of harassment,and that if he continues to jeopardize your sobriety with his inappropriate behaviour,youll take action immediately!
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This isn't fair to the daughter. If he send you that stuff delete it and pretend it didn't happen. Him sending you a picture like that and you not mentioning it will terrify him, he'll think that you might show it to his no wife.

By the way don't say anything to his wife, he'll easily be able to make you look like a crazy ex. Let her catch him, it'll happen eventually. Just be civil, if he makes any advances ignore them, pretend they didn't happen. Even if it's awkward just pretend they don't happen, he'll stop eventually. If he starts taking it further than pictures you can delete or words you can ignore then make a threat. Don't just run to a lawyer, it's unfair to your child and on a certain level it's really unfair to him.

He might have the wrong idea right now, he might think you're okay with doing this or maybe he's just an idiot who doesn't think things through.

This guy sounds like an idiot but just try ignoring him when he tries anything inappropriate. I mean outright, over the top act like he doesn't exist. Then when he acts like a normal human being, comes to see his daughter, act like a human being back to him. He obviously likes getting attention from you so take that away from him when he misbehaves. Just don't be seen as the "crazy bitch ex trying to come between the new married couple because she's bitter" (not saying that's what you are but that's how he'll frame it to everyone he knows as quickly as possible if you do anything drastic).
 
Can you change your number and call him from a private number? Talk to him through e-mails or landline. It may be that he wants to sex you again as a power thing or something. Don't let him get the last laugh.
 
I've just stopped talking to him. I definitely don't want to be seen as the crazy ex. Basically he wants his cake and eat it too kind of thing. Absolute is power shit. Sad really, he's 33 years old. I'll do everything in my power to make sure my son doesn't grow up to fuck with women's heads like this. They get married tonight. I actually feel relieved.
 
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