I don't know what holing is like. I was fully conscious of my surroundings and everything, but it felt like I couldn't hold reality together so that everything made sense. I've had the same feeling on shrooms and salvia. I become frightened that I will stay that way forever and will never be able to get back to the way things were before. But yes, as Xorkoth said, I always do eventually get back to the way it was before. In fact, by now I should be able to have confidence that I will get back to reality every time it happens but still, when it's actually taking place I always manage to think that this time is the time when I really screwed up the universe for eternity because I took a weird chemical.
The scariest part is when I think I am realizing that the universe can't really exist. It's not really possible. I realize that the universe is really just me. There are no other real people or anything. It's just me and what I did was somehow create the universe by a trick. I managed to trick myself into creating the entire universe by getting myself to temporarily believe that it's possible. As long as I can trick myself into forgetting that's it's impossible for anything to exist, as logically you must all agree (because how can something come from nothing, right?), the universe can exist. But if ever I become conscious of the fact that the universe, my life and everything I am aware of, is not actually possible then the whole thing will collapse and it will go back to eternal nothingness. That's what brings on the extreme panic, the feeling that I'm getting close to remembering that it's all just a trick and nothing really exists. If I ever get all the way to no longer being fooled by my own trick, that will be the end of everything that ever existed or ever will exist. So far the trick is still working, but for how long?
The fact that the universe exists right now shows that I succeeded in formulating a complicated enough trick that it's still holding together. That was the greatest accomplishment I ever made, I figured out a way to make the universe exist even though in reality it's impossible. I made a trick so incredibly convoluted that I haven't been able to remember what it was yet, which thereby allows it to continue to work. I had to make it so complicated that I myself could never figure it out. Think how hard that would be. I also get the feeling that I created the universe numerous times before but all those times I hadn't made the trick complicated enough therefore they all collapsed and I had to start all over again, making it more and more complicated every time. That's why the universe seems so complex right now, with the galaxies going on and on seemingly without end, because this is the most complicated version yet. I made this one so complex that it will take a real long time for it to collapse due to the trick eventually failing to convince me that the universe is real. Maybe this one will actually work permanently. Maybe I made it so perfect this time that I will never fail to believe that the universe is real again and therefore it will never collapse.
but it's certainly possible and something that shouldn't be counted out without experimentation.
Then after that the next few times were pretty weird and unpleasant, and at some point I "broke through" and had another magical experience, and it's been like that since every time, though it's less intensely so now than it used to be because I was using it too often for a little while.
