Im sorry if this is in the wrong place,i didnt really know where to put this kind of thread.
So,like everybody i used to do crazy and prolly dangerous things in the past-mixing heroin(my regular DOC for 7 years now) with ridiculous amounts
of 3-4 different kind of benzos,topping it off with alcohol and stupid stuff like that.Also heroin/cocaine was another common combo for me,always adding some benzos to the mix+weed.Dumb shit for sure,dont see how snorting 2-3 grams of H then popping 12 pills would be a good idea,but you do stupid stuff when you wanna get high.
But lately(last 1-2 years) its been almost like the total opposite for me,as for some reason im almost scared of taking one more pill to achive that desirable high.Except from heroin,im strictly restricting my benzo use at 1 pill a day(never crossed that restriction since then) and although i know that taking 1 more single pill,even half of it would give me a nice "feelgood" chillout feeling,i always hesitate.I had the opportunity to do some great coke
in the past few months but i passed,thinking i had already taken my heroin+1 pill for the day.Its been like that for almost 2 years now.I barely drink any alcohol anymore,and thats because "mixing alcohol with other drugs can lead to overdose etc".I mean wtf kind of a junkie am i ??
Anybody experienced the same feeling of remorse/illogical and maybe subconcious fear about that little push you need to get high?I mean its not like i had a traumatic experience or anything,since i got hooked ive been snorting and sometimes smoking the H,so no IV overdoses ever happened,i never felt "in great danger" or anything,so why is my survival instict keeping me from getting a good buzz every now and then?
So,like everybody i used to do crazy and prolly dangerous things in the past-mixing heroin(my regular DOC for 7 years now) with ridiculous amounts
of 3-4 different kind of benzos,topping it off with alcohol and stupid stuff like that.Also heroin/cocaine was another common combo for me,always adding some benzos to the mix+weed.Dumb shit for sure,dont see how snorting 2-3 grams of H then popping 12 pills would be a good idea,but you do stupid stuff when you wanna get high.
But lately(last 1-2 years) its been almost like the total opposite for me,as for some reason im almost scared of taking one more pill to achive that desirable high.Except from heroin,im strictly restricting my benzo use at 1 pill a day(never crossed that restriction since then) and although i know that taking 1 more single pill,even half of it would give me a nice "feelgood" chillout feeling,i always hesitate.I had the opportunity to do some great coke
in the past few months but i passed,thinking i had already taken my heroin+1 pill for the day.Its been like that for almost 2 years now.I barely drink any alcohol anymore,and thats because "mixing alcohol with other drugs can lead to overdose etc".I mean wtf kind of a junkie am i ??
Anybody experienced the same feeling of remorse/illogical and maybe subconcious fear about that little push you need to get high?I mean its not like i had a traumatic experience or anything,since i got hooked ive been snorting and sometimes smoking the H,so no IV overdoses ever happened,i never felt "in great danger" or anything,so why is my survival instict keeping me from getting a good buzz every now and then?
