Is it possible to reprogram thinking?

[Bamagirl88]

Well, I've ran out of my meds early. Two reasons, one my husband gets into my meds when he's out of his and I had some hard days and screwed up by taking just an extra one.....than this led down that go hunting expedition I so hate...I've told myself and husband this has gotta stop. We can't afford the fill ins, we can't afford buying pills. And I can't afford to get sick with withdrawls and miss work. Something has gotta give. And, this month I had to barter fill ins for my oxy 60s...I had to trade my upcoming script. I traded off my ir15s, three of them for one oxy 60. I don't like the ir15, they set me up for bad things so I choose not to take them. But I am sooo dependent on my 60's.

so my question is....can I reprogram my thinking? I don't get high anymore..I've got to stop chasing that feeling. I never get it. I get one hour of euphoria followed by a terrible headache when I take that third pill...and then because of that added by covering for hubby who is scripted morphine I cover him, then he repays me back. But I hate hate hate morphine. Dose nothing for me except gets me out of detox. I think he likes my oxy so he'll ask to trade and I oblidge him. I told him this morning I'm tired of arguing about medicine. Who dose more, who's fault it is, etc etc...

he he gets mad at me when I chase my buzz but I'm supposed to accept his behavior. It's really fucking twisted. And cause his friend gets what I get he borrows meds. But I feel shorted. I feel like I never am starting on my whole script. Ever. I'm always two days or a week behind.

ive also talked about going back to na/aa meetings. For whatever reason those meetings helped me. Helped me stay clean. So I'm thinking can they help me stay on track?

i really hate having to take meds of this nature. It really fucks up travel dates, planning vacations, you know. I have decided to taper down. My first thought is to take a whole 60 in morning than half at night. Get adjusted to that and then decrease down the half to a quarter. Then take away the evening med completely. This will be a long taper. And keep,walking down. Cause this way ain't working no more. Too much chaos.

has anyone had any experience with tapering down oxy?

 

[Corazon]

You have too many excuses.

You have to stick to the dosing schedule, and absolutely refuse to break the dosing schedule.

If you never once take more than your scheduled dose, you will never lose control and abuse them.

If you are unwilling to make that commitment, then you need to pursue other options. Doing so hurts yourself and it hurts other pain patients.

Now I'm going to try to and give you additional helpful advice.

Well, I've ran out of my meds early. Two reasons, one my husband gets into my meds when he's out of his and I had some hard days and screwed up by taking just an extra one.....than this led down that go hunting expedition I so hate...I've told myself and husband this has gotta stop. We can't afford the fill ins, we can't afford buying pills. And I can't afford to get sick with withdrawls and miss work. Something has gotta give. And, this month I had to barter fill ins for my oxy 60s...I had to trade my upcoming script. I traded off my ir15s, three of them for one oxy 60. I don't like the ir15, they set me up for bad things so I choose not to take them. But I am sooo dependent on my 60's.

This paragraph alone is enough to know pain meds are not for you. This is the type of stuff that fucks it up for people that are responsible, yet have to wait weeks for pain treatment because of activity like this

so my question is....can I reprogram my thinking?

Yes you can. First you have to go cold turkey for about a week, then you have to stick to exactly your dosing schedule from day 1. If you aren't willing to do that, then it will not work. It seems like you aren't willing to do it.

ive also talked about going back to na/aa meetings. For whatever reason those meetings helped me. Helped me stay clean. So I'm thinking can they help me stay on track?

Sounds like a good, positive idea. They helped you in the past. Maybe the meetings would provide you support and responsibility with the group as well. You seem like your best option is to get clean and stay clean.

has anyone had any experience with tapering down oxy?

Very hard to do once you are abusing them. Usually I would rationalize simply taking my regular dose and run out regardless.


Look , you seem like a good person. Some drugs are not for some people. Regardless of what you choose to do, please be careful to avoid rationalizing and excuse making behavior as it will keep you trapped in this cycle. Good luck.

 

[harmacologist]

has anyone had any experience with tapering down oxy?

I know lots of people that TRIED.

 

[methamaniac]

You have to change the behavior to change the mind. Trying to condition oneself to stop wanting a drug while still using it is more than likely a fruitless effort. Many, Many, many an addict have tried to manage their addiction.
Problem with the whole taper thing is you have become addicted. I dont really think there is a cure for this. Srry, dont want to be pessimistic just want to be real. Maybe moving to something non addictive might help. Only you know your pain level and steady if this is fesible.
Good luck

 

[tamarinds]

http://www.austincc.edu/colangelo/1318/cognitiverestructuring.htm

 

[Bamagirl88]

Thanks for the posts...and thank you corazon for stating the truths...yes I have had too many excuses for this big merry go round of mess. I sit in one hell of a situation with my health. Ms kicks my ass from pain plus other issues. I am just gonna jump off all ,eds again. I made it two years without anything than talked myself into reaching for the meds. I do need something for the pain. But not this. Gotta go back to the drawing board. Gotta do so,etching different.im so exhausted tho. Physically and mentally. Physically from the ms, mentally from this hellish merry go round. And super pissed at my husband. When I go back to my pain management doctor I'm going to bring up this discussion. But mostly I've got to get strict with myself again. And remind myself that when bad days come bad days will also go....it really sucks being a cronic pain person. Quality of life really changed. It is what it is...and my whining about this ain't helping me.

im going to also research some more holistic approaches. There's gotta be another solution to my pain problem. And I've got the flu now so I'm jumping today. I'm really sick anyways so what's a better time than now? I am at the 48 hour mark of no narcotics and can't say if I even feel them as sick as I am. Went to the doctor yesterday...family...and brought everything up and she prescribed me clonidine for bp, Bentyle for stomache to add into my meds as well as antibiotics and non narcotic cough and predisone.

i have a very weak immune system. And I'm taking other stuff to ease my symptoms. As far as methadone or suboxone I've tried the suboxone but it wasn't a good fit. Made me crazy.

ive told myself I can do this, and pumped myself up. If I can't manage those oxy why even try to taper, just jump. I do hope that the withdrawls don't go as long as the last time. It took me three months to level out mentally. Depression set in hard. But I've only been back on the oxy for 6 months not long. Last detox I was on them for eight years.

gotta put my big girl panties on and just do this...please pray for me and support me as I stop.

 

[Xorkoth]

Good luck, it sounds like you have made a mature and responsible decision. Opiate addiction is the WORST, trust me I know, I was addicted to opiates for 10 years (but just recreationally, I am not in pain, that must make it a lot harder).

 

[Bamagirl88]

Is my detox making my fever worst on top of my flu? I just checked my temp and its 101.4... Took some Tylenol and Motrin. Alternating the two to break the fever. I can't hold ANYTHING DOWN. Not even water. Am sipping Gatorade but it won't stay down. I vomit after 30 minutes or so. I'm worried about dehydration. Any suggestions? And my body freezes and then sweats.

My my eyes hurt too....but I know I've got the flu. Tested positive in dr office...
i can't feel the detox. All I feel is flu. There's a difference in the feeling.

should I try protien shakes this soon? Tomorrow? I need fuel for my body to heal.

please any suggestions.

 

[methamaniac]

BAMAGIRL88,

Withdrawl definitely isnt helping but not something to use over in my opinion. Fever is sign your body is fighting virus. I once got the flu in withdrawl by myself and thought I was going to die. I was shivering so bad I couldn't leave blanket and fireplace. Thank God for fireplace. I didnt die obviously lol.
Sipping on water/Gatorade/pedolyte/ anything hydrating (simple Google search) is what worked for me. I know it is hard, but only real alternative is IV fluids.
It was hard for me to drink bunch at once in withdrawl because I would either get nauseous or have to get up and pee every 2 minutes because my bladder is sensitive/weak during withdrawls(just temp returns to normal).

Think about it like this, when a flash flood hits the ground cant soak it up so it runs right off and goes down waste streams and rivers.
But when it is a slow gradual downpour the ground/trees/flowers etc are able to get their fill. Instead of baby steps it is baby sips.
Snacking on crushed ice will help with dry mouth. Up your electrolyte and potassium when you can get something down, they help shuttle water where it is needed in body.
Water goes where it is needed first in the body within minutes of ingestion. Staying hydrated is real problem because of loss of mineral that aid in hydration.
PLease google symptoms of dehydration as you can recognize them. Craving water most obvious some not so obvious. Up your vitamin C too. Emergen-C works well.
Hope you get better soon
ps. Go Vols beat Bama
TMRW 7:30
( a guy can dream cant he)

 

[Bamagirl88]

vol don't stand a chance...roll tide roll. I feel like Crimson tide rolled on me

 

[methamaniac]

vol don't stand a chance...roll tide roll. I feel like Crimson tide rolled on me

Understatement of the year. Were practically playing all freshman and our starting QB out
When I was a kid there was no bigger game.

Here goes the kickoff.....
Hope your fever has subsided.