Desperate to quit opiates, any advice is welcome

[Genghis.Khan]

Hi folks ! First I want to apologize for my bad english...hope you can understand me well...

I´m a 32 yrs old male and since I was a teenager I always have troubles with drugs... can say my personality leads to addiction quite easy as I suffer from GAD and ADHD...well guys, I used to be addicted to cocaine and alcohol but I quit these drugs long ago, trying to live as sober as I can because Im married and my wife doesnt desserve me drunk or stoned... but I could never imagine my worst nightmare would come from actually "legal" drugs ... just a short resume :
back in 2011 I was opiate naive, as I live in a country where opiate abuse is almost non-existant, there is no heroin on streets like all south americsn countryes, so it´s very restricted, now Im as a user I discovered that 99% of opiate addicts are people who work in health area as these drugs are extremely rare over here. It doesnt matter anyway, I will tell what happened : as I told earlier till 2011 Iwas opiate naive and didnt even know about oxycodone, morphine and stuff, I had very little or no knowledge about those substances. What happened is sad because I have low back pain for long time and it´s really bad, and I can´t take any anti inflamatory medication as I suffer from renal problems and Im not allowed to take any of these substances..so..when my back problem get worse the doctor had no choice other than giving me opiates and strong muscle relaxers to threat my condition. I remember I was unable to work and do my daily stuff properly, so a doctor prescribed me codeine 4 times a day, here we have a drug called "codein" it´s 30 mg codein per tablet, no paracetamol or aspirin, just plain codein phosphate. Well...I started to enjoy the codein and in a matter of days without docotor concern I raised my daily dosage because I was feeling in a good mood with that stuff. ...as I get addicted easy to anything that makes me feel alright, with the codein wasnt different. But it was under control, not big deal codein is not a full opiate agonist and it´s easy to give up, but I started to get more information on opiates and get in touch with a guy that know a guy that know a guy ..and they managed to get me oxycontin..I did some research and find intersting this drug and wanted to try it...I remembe my first purchase was 3 bottles with 12 pills each, it iwas oxycontin 20 mg little pink pills... I tried and was hooked, cant explain how good my life become with the oxy and I started to waste all my money with that guy, taking everyday from 40 to 80 mg..my tolerance raised very quick, in begin I was able to snort 20 mg and eat 20 for day , soon I was not able to get any high even snorting 40 mg at once...I was desperate because the oxy is extremely expensive and when you buy from black market its even more...so I meet the morphine, the same guy told me I could get a box with 50 pills of 30mg each for a reasonable price, so I bought 10 boxes, 500 pills at once...dont need to say they didnt last long, I was taking from 10 to 15 pills a day, 300 to 450 mg of morphine. I started to plug the drug to get a better BA, and also was taking tons of codein and tramadol that I can obtain quite easy with doctors...now, 3 years after , Im in deep shit, I tried to quit the morphine inumerous times and in the second or third day I cant support the shit my life become and I start to take the drug again...I tried to reduce my daily intake and was able to survive with 60 mg a day but feeling withdrawals and bad mood and depression . I m no longer buying any oxycodone as this drug is a hell for me, if I put my hands on it I become a monster and dont stop snorting till the last pill, my wife discovered everything and give me support but its a hard time. I talked to a psychiatrist and it didnt help, there is no methadone or suboxone here in my country to threat addicts, the doctor gives me alprazolan and said to deal with the withdrawals or get in a clinic for recover, what I dont want because I cant lost my job and tell the people whats going on.
I tried loperamide for a few days to lower withdrawals but didnt work also, in resume..I try to quit, but I always relapse and start with the drug again its a loop I cant get out and I dont enjoy the morphine , it makes me depressed, heavy, changes my mood, its not like in the beginning when it used to gave me peaceful and euphoria now I need larger doses, something around 450mg to feel a good thing and its bad. Normally Ive been taking 6 pills a day...180 mg ..to avoid withdrawals, I get no high or anything for that...only thing I get is constipation, tired of laxative medicines to be able to float a log...Im tired of opiates...I say you guys I love oxycodone but it´s my worst enemy and Ive been tampering this addictin with morphie for over 1 andhalf year and cant quit it also ...
Any idea how detox myself or live with it will be apreciated..lI read many forums about detox plans but cant go ahead with any...
My advice to people who are starting to take opiates : avoid it, this shit will ruin your life, belive-me...some friends told me in past to avoid these drugs, I didnt listen and Im fucked up now.
sorry for the confuse statemant but my mind is no good at all cheers...

 

[VitamaN]

Opiates turned on me as well due to my abuse. I still use them but the high is barely a buzz and it just basically helps me function in the morning and drops me by noon.
The drug i fell in love with and could do 120MGs and feel great all day turned into sometimes consuming an entire G of CWE and im like you,
I gotta stop. I don't know what kind of withdrawals await me, because im a binger I don't use every single day like I used to (but I use SOMETHING every day)
but here's what got me off the opes when I really kicked it for a while - clonidine , short term use of klonipin , soma, and promethazine for stomach issues.
The trouble is you have to get to an addiction Dr who is willing to prescribe those and it'll cost you. Self detox KILLS compared to medically assisted detox. Best of luck I mean it ... and when you crave, and you WILL crave, just remember that you're craving a drug that no longer "works" .

 

[bcfly7x7]

Hi folks ! First I want to apologize for my bad english...hope you can understand me well...

I´m a 32 yrs old male and since I was a teenager I always have troubles with drugs... can say my personality leads to addiction quite easy as I suffer from GAD and ADHD...well guys, I used to be addicted to cocaine and alcohol but I quit these drugs long ago, trying to live as sober as I can because Im married and my wife doesnt desserve me drunk or stoned... but I could never imagine my worst nightmare would come from actually "legal" drugs ... just a short resume :
back in 2011 I was opiate naive, as I live in a country where opiate abuse is almost non-existant, there is no heroin on streets like all south americsn countryes, so it´s very restricted, now Im as a user I discovered that 99% of opiate addicts are people who work in health area as these drugs are extremely rare over here. It doesnt matter anyway, I will tell what happened : as I told earlier till 2011 Iwas opiate naive and didnt even know about oxycodone, morphine and stuff, I had very little or no knowledge about those substances. What happened is sad because I have low back pain for long time and it´s really bad, and I can´t take any anti inflamatory medication as I suffer from renal problems and Im not allowed to take any of these substances..so..when my back problem get worse the doctor had no choice other than giving me opiates and strong muscle relaxers to threat my condition. I remember I was unable to work and do my daily stuff properly, so a doctor prescribed me codeine 4 times a day, here we have a drug called "codein" it´s 30 mg codein per tablet, no paracetamol or aspirin, just plain codein phosphate. Well...I started to enjoy the codein and in a matter of days without docotor concern I raised my daily dosage because I was feeling in a good mood with that stuff. ...as I get addicted easy to anything that makes me feel alright, with the codein wasnt different. But it was under control, not big deal codein is not a full opiate agonist and it´s easy to give up, but I started to get more information on opiates and get in touch with a guy that know a guy that know a guy ..and they managed to get me oxycontin..I did some research and find intersting this drug and wanted to try it...I remembe my first purchase was 3 bottles with 12 pills each, it iwas oxycontin 20 mg little pink pills... I tried and was hooked, cant explain how good my life become with the oxy and I started to waste all my money with that guy, taking everyday from 40 to 80 mg..my tolerance raised very quick, in begin I was able to snort 20 mg and eat 20 for day , soon I was not able to get any high even snorting 40 mg at once...I was desperate because the oxy is extremely expensive and when you buy from black market its even more...so I meet the morphine, the same guy told me I could get a box with 50 pills of 30mg each for a reasonable price, so I bought 10 boxes, 500 pills at once...dont need to say they didnt last long, I was taking from 10 to 15 pills a day, 300 to 450 mg of morphine. I started to plug the drug to get a better BA, and also was taking tons of codein and tramadol that I can obtain quite easy with doctors...now, 3 years after , Im in deep shit, I tried to quit the morphine inumerous times and in the second or third day I cant support the shit my life become and I start to take the drug again...I tried to reduce my daily intake and was able to survive with 60 mg a day but feeling withdrawals and bad mood and depression . I m no longer buying any oxycodone as this drug is a hell for me, if I put my hands on it I become a monster and dont stop snorting till the last pill, my wife discovered everything and give me support but its a hard time. I talked to a psychiatrist and it didnt help, there is no methadone or suboxone here in my country to threat addicts, the doctor gives me alprazolan and said to deal with the withdrawals or get in a clinic for recover, what I dont want because I cant lost my job and tell the people whats going on.
I tried loperamide for a few days to lower withdrawals but didnt work also, in resume..I try to quit, but I always relapse and start with the drug again its a loop I cant get out and I dont enjoy the morphine , it makes me depressed, heavy, changes my mood, its not like in the beginning when it used to gave me peaceful and euphoria now I need larger doses, something around 450mg to feel a good thing and its bad. Normally Ive been taking 6 pills a day...180 mg ..to avoid withdrawals, I get no high or anything for that...only thing I get is constipation, tired of laxative medicines to be able to float a log...Im tired of opiates...I say you guys I love oxycodone but it´s my worst enemy and Ive been tampering this addictin with morphie for over 1 andhalf year and cant quit it also ...
Any idea how detox myself or live with it will be apreciated..lI read many forums about detox plans but cant go ahead with any...
My advice to people who are starting to take opiates : avoid it, this shit will ruin your life, belive-me...some friends told me in past to avoid these drugs, I didnt listen and Im fucked up now.
sorry for the confuse statemant but my mind is no good at all cheers...

So genghis,

Your situation is almost identical to mine, back pain, started on opiates at 29, just got clean at 36. The reason you're having such a hard time with morphine is because of the half life. Make no mistake some of the withdrawal is still from the oxy. I was upto 300mg of morphine daily. Vit is correct with meds that would help that aren't things like gabapentin. Using as long as you did, you have some serious time you're going to pay. Probably a week or more of hardcore withdrawal, followed by 2-3 months of PAWS. I think (sp) natrexlone would be good too, it's used to reduce cravings and aid in recovery. It can be placed under the skin and releases over a period of 2 months. Find a dr or clinic willing to help out. It's not going to be easy, but if you really want to be free, you need to commit. By the way, read the thread I started about opiates for the naive. It'll probably hit home.

My best,

Bob

 

[VitamaN]

Bobs post about opiates might make you cry like a bitch but its worth reading. (hi Bob )

I sucks to see people going through this opiate hell but in a way it's good because I see a LOT of people on bluelight trying to clean up. That's a plus.
If you go through this hellish situation right now and GET IT OVER WITH as slow and painful as it may seem, think about how awesome your new year will be. a few months from now.....2015 and you're OUT of withdrawal and OUT of post withdrawal. You have to get really really sick before you can get better. I just wish people had more affordable medical assistance with these issues besides getting thrown on methadone at clinics. It cost me about 400 bucks to get in the door and get my meds from a shrink. It was worth it but not everyone can just do that. I was lucky to have help .

 

[rubbinsracing12]

I feel for you and I'm going through the same myself. Exact same drugs you listed but not by choice but whatever I could get at the time. Day 11 and not out of the woods but through the worst of it. For me the support of this forum and seeing how many people have kicked these evils drugs was a huge boost. This forum and the thomas recipe have been the difference between getting through a day or two and giving in/using to 11 days and going strong. Knowing my addictive personally I skipped the benzo's in the thomas recipe because I didn't want to swap one bad habit for another. I've been through a lot of bad and painful things in my life and nothing comes close to opiate withdrawal but it is a battle you can win.

 

[Genghis.Khan]

Opiates turned on me as well due to my abuse. I still use them but the high is barely a buzz and it just basically helps me function in the morning and drops me by noon.
The drug i fell in love with and could do 120MGs and feel great all day turned into sometimes consuming an entire G of CWE and im like you,
I gotta stop. I don't know what kind of withdrawals await me, because im a binger I don't use every single day like I used to (but I use SOMETHING every day)
but here's what got me off the opes when I really kicked it for a while - clonidine , short term use of klonipin , soma, and promethazine for stomach issues.
The trouble is you have to get to an addiction Dr who is willing to prescribe those and it'll cost you. Self detox KILLS compared to medically assisted detox. Best of luck I mean it ... and when you crave, and you WILL crave, just remember that you're craving a drug that no longer "works" .

Thanks for replying mate... Its sad to know lots of people out there are in same situation. Im again, maybe for the 50th time, trying to detox by myself, I´m still on day two and withdrawals are still under control with benzos and lots of exercices, but it´s getting worse every minute...I still have plenty morphine pills but I dont want to take any as I know it will lead me to abuse to feel alright...

 

[Genghis.Khan]

So genghis,

Your situation is almost identical to mine, back pain, started on opiates at 29, just got clean at 36. The reason you're having such a hard time with morphine is because of the half life. Make no mistake some of the withdrawal is still from the oxy. I was upto 300mg of morphine daily. Vit is correct with meds that would help that aren't things like gabapentin. Using as long as you did, you have some serious time you're going to pay. Probably a week or more of hardcore withdrawal, followed by 2-3 months of PAWS. I think (sp) natrexlone would be good too, it's used to reduce cravings and aid in recovery. It can be placed under the skin and releases over a period of 2 months. Find a dr or clinic willing to help out. It's not going to be easy, but if you really want to be free, you need to commit. By the way, read the thread I started about opiates for the naive. It'll probably hit home.

My best,

Bob

Thanks Bob...
I already spoke to a doctor but in my country as I said earlier there is little or no opiate abuse at all, so the doctors arenot prepared to threat properly opiate users...I asked for methadone recipe as it´s quite cheap in the pharmacies but doctor only gave me benzos and tell me to deal with the wd´s or get in a clinic to detox, what Im not able andcant do right now...
I´m trying again to detox by myself, still on day 2..feeling like crap but still under control, taking the benzos and doing some exercices outdoors to relief the body and mind. Opiate addiction is a hell, and I dont believe someone is able to have such drugs at home and keep it under control, at least not someone with an addictive personality as me... this time I will go through hell but I will not take any opiate again, I want to be free from that stuff, and for everybody out there in same figh dont give up...there is an option that is give up the addiction and have good life again, as the drugs make life boring and non-sense.

 

[Genghis.Khan]

Bobs post about opiates might make you cry like a bitch but its worth reading. (hi Bob )

I sucks to see people going through this opiate hell but in a way it's good because I see a LOT of people on bluelight trying to clean up. That's a plus.
If you go through this hellish situation right now and GET IT OVER WITH as slow and painful as it may seem, think about how awesome your new year will be. a few months from now.....2015 and you're OUT of withdrawal and OUT of post withdrawal. You have to get really really sick before you can get better. I just wish people had more affordable medical assistance with these issues besides getting thrown on methadone at clinics. It cost me about 400 bucks to get in the door and get my meds from a shrink. It was worth it but not everyone can just do that. I was lucky to have help .

thx for your support man, and I will remember that, and hopefully in 2015 morphine and stuff will be in past ...

 

[Genghis.Khan]

I feel for you and I'm going through the same myself. Exact same drugs you listed but not by choice but whatever I could get at the time. Day 11 and not out of the woods but through the worst of it. For me the support of this forum and seeing how many people have kicked these evils drugs was a huge boost. This forum and the thomas recipe have been the difference between getting through a day or two and giving in/using to 11 days and going strong. Knowing my addictive personally I skipped the benzo's in the thomas recipe because I didn't want to swap one bad habit for another. I've been through a lot of bad and painful things in my life and nothing comes close to opiate withdrawal but it is a battle you can win.

Thx for reply...and I know you can win bro, if you are on day 11 you´re already a winner, myself I never could go through day 3 or 4 ..tryed many times and always relapsed...now still on day 2 and this time I want to be out of this shit for good, hope my mind doesnt trick me again..Im planning on giving all my pills to a friend to keep it safefrom myself as I have no courage to destroy it anyway, best wishes for you mate hope you can win this battle too, yore several days ahead, dont give up at this point

 

[rubbinsracing12]

Thx for reply...and I know you can win bro, if you are on day 11 you´re already a winner, myself I never could go through day 3 or 4 ..tryed many times and always relapsed...now still on day 2 and this time I want to be out of this shit for good, hope my mind doesnt trick me again..Im planning on giving all my pills to a friend to keep it safefrom myself as I have no courage to destroy it anyway, best wishes for you mate hope you can win this battle too, yore several days ahead, dont give up at this point

Thank you and congrats on 2 days. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough. It should only get easier from here for you. I hear you, can't tell you how many times I gave in after a day or two because it was so bad. I found that helpful as well expect I flushed my pills. When you're going through this hell and you have them handy it was impossible for me to not take them to make the pain go away. I also changed my phone number because my dealer calling all the time was just as bad as having pills close by. I wish you the best.

 

[Genghis.Khan]

Thank you and congrats on 2 days. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough. It should only get easier from here for you. I hear you, can't tell you how many times I gave in after a day or two because it was so bad. I found that helpful as well expect I flushed my pills. When you're going through this hell and you have them handy it was impossible for me to not take them to make the pain go away. I also changed my phone number because my dealer calling all the time was just as bad as having pills close by. I wish you the best.

Thanks for your support mate
I promise Im doing my best to quit this addiction asap. Oxy was fun, euphoria and a good mood but morphine leads me to severe depression and I become a bad behavior guy with my wife, what´s not good. Need to quit it. Clean myself from this drug, and never again buy oxy or whatever too, as it will lead to full addiction.

 

[rubbinsracing12]

Least I can do after the support I received here was a huge help in me getting through this as well. Give it your all and I'm sure you'll succeed. I know exactly what you're talking about. Mainly I used them to keep me up when I was working crazy hours but when I used them for fun I would go from the quite guy to the life of the party. After a while no matter how many you take you still feel sick and everyone around you gets a bad attitude most of the time. Almost cost me my marriage several times. You should be through the very worst by now and things will only get better and easier. Hang in there and best of luck!

 

[Genghis.Khan]

Least I can do after the support I received here was a huge help in me getting through this as well. Give it your all and I'm sure you'll succeed. I know exactly what you're talking about. Mainly I used them to keep me up when I was working crazy hours but when I used them for fun I would go from the quite guy to the life of the party. After a while no matter how many you take you still feel sick and everyone around you gets a bad attitude most of the time. Almost cost me my marriage several times. You should be through the very worst by now and things will only get better and easier. Hang in there and best of luck!

Thanks for the support mate . It´s day 6 and I tampered the severe withdrawals with tramadol...doesnt seems to be a wise choice but helped a little..mixed with alprazolan and exercices I´m doing well, at least no morphine or oxycodone in this meantime. Hard time, depression is hitting me very hard and dont know whats coming next, hope I can clean my mind and body because I really need that peace.

 

[neversickanymore]

The peace will come eventually. Your doing great even if you dont feal great yet.

Here is some information on PAWS in case you haven't read through it yet.

NSFW:

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Managing depressive thinking
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share something POSITIVE from your day!
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 3: Earth, Wind and Fire!

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread

Keep at it, nothing left back there but the slavery of dependence and the all the rough ground you already pushed through. It gets good pretty quick. Get through the first eight months or so and you should be on easy street.

 

[rubbinsracing12]

Thanks for the support mate . It´s day 6 and I tampered the severe withdrawals with tramadol...doesnt seems to be a wise choice but helped a little..mixed with alprazolan and exercices I´m doing well, at least no morphine or oxycodone in this meantime. Hard time, depression is hitting me very hard and dont know whats coming next, hope I can clean my mind and body because I really need that peace.

Congrats on making it this far and glad to hear you're doing better. Each day from here should only get easier. You're not out of the wood yet but should be through the worst at this point. Try not to let the depression get to you and stay positive. This is a battle that can be won!!