Flashbacks of childhood traumatic experiences - how to know if they are real?

[421]

Soberity is bringing them up.

Please help.

 

[blahman8000]

I know what you are going through and it's tricky to experience this. I have been through the same thing. How were these memories brought to mind? False memories, as I understand it, can sometimes happen when they've been introduced to you from an external source. Not always, but that's why it's important to be mindful about any mental help you receive.

I have memories that I'm certain are real, but oddly only came to mind much later in life. It's possible you've opened up a door to ancient memories that you've had kept away for years. I think the best idea would be to see someone reputable and helpful, and figure it out.

 

[421]

How were these memories brought to mind?

I went to church on Sunday and it turned out to be some kind of special sermon for families with children. It was really difficult for me, at the time I thought because of some kind of "I want a family too"-jealousy. But yesterday I started getting some pretty heavy flashbacks. Today I went to a dentist, it's something that has been really difficult for years and not because of the pain (basically I'm so anxious I don't even feel pain). Today the flashbacks have gotten more vivid. The experience (if real) involved a family member who is a dentist.

I wouldn't really care about it otherwise but I'm worried about a couple of young children that she may hurt now.

 

[blahman8000]

It might be hard to believe, but I think I know what you're going through. Especially the part involving worrying about other people getting hurt. The confusion is overwhelming. But the fact that you want to do the right thing is good.

We've all heard what I'm about to say before, but I really think you should talk to someone. You're handling a heavy problem all on your own, although of course many people on this site are happy to help you (trust me, I might not even be here if it weren't for this site). This is something that is difficult to deal with alone. I tried to deal with recovered memories alone without professional help and now I'm considering going to the hospital. And I probably should. The only thing that saved me were certain wonderful people on here. But remaining silent can put you in a very lonely and confusing place. Just don't suffer more than you have to.

I think you should consider making an appointment with somebody who can help you figure this out. There's no shame in that, and it could save you from a world of pain. You clearly have a good conscience, a good mind. I think things will eventually work out well for you.

 

[njirem]

If they happened or not, they're real.

Deal with it, talk about it, dont push them away or they will come back in your dreams.
Ive been through the same thing, there are years in my childhood i dont remember at all, started having nightmares and feelings of impending doom i couldnt explain really, when detoxing and getting sober over the course of last year.

Turned out i was being bullied so badly when i was 7 i had to switch school....twice. Heard that from my sister...
I dont remember shit (28 now),no images, no sounds, no faces no memories, only remember what i felt. Pretty weird.
I do know i can dissociate completely when somebody gets mad at me, or humiliates me, its stange, i just zone out and stop exisiting. That what i did when i was 7 apparently, thats why i dont remember.

Had my EMDR, it helped, want to get hypnosis when im fully stable. I dont want anything to hold me back no more.

 

[VitamaN]

This happens to me when I clean up. You come back...
the good and the bad.
It all swarms back. Totally natural. Please roll with the punches. You're ok.

 

[421]

Thank you for your answers.

More flashbacks keep coming to me. These are from adulthood. Somehow all of the flashbacks seem to be all related though. Some of these I know for sure that happened. Others are things I planned on doing but can't remember if I actually did.

Also lots of dejavu or something like that... really weird. Kinda related to the "not sure if I did" thing but it's like I'm getting "flashbacks" from the future. Some kind of time-space continuum warp. Freaky.

But yes, just gotta stay strong and ride it out. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

 

[VitamaN]

I had to ask my mom... DID THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPEN TO ME?
She confirmed it. Wow...fucked up childhood.
yes, ride it out and be grateful that your brain isn't fried and you haven't forgotten who you are. That would be way more sad than reliving the harsh realities that are our existences .

 

[Xorkoth]

Turned out i was being bullied so badly when i was 7 i had to switch school....twice. Heard that from my sister...
I dont remember shit (28 now),no images, no sounds, no faces no memories, only remember what i felt. Pretty weird.
I do know i can dissociate completely when somebody gets mad at me, or humiliates me, its stange, i just zone out and stop exisiting. That what i did when i was 7 apparently, thats why i dont remember.

This is actually what happened to me too, except probably not as bad because I didn't have to change schools. Up until I was 8, I got picked on bad enough to come home crying many days, but I don't remember that at all. I remember getting picked on in third grade through somewhere in high school though, and that was really traumatic itself. I keep thinking that maybe something worse happened before and that's why I can't remember, I remember other stuff from then. Or maybe it didn't and the trauma from the rest of it was enough. But either way, I do the same things in confrontations, it was a huge problem in my marriage. I have been working on it and have gotten better but it's my reaction, and to not do it I have to battle through that.

 

[Mafioso]

when I got sober I would get flashbacks so strong and uncontrollable that I could do nothing but curl up and sob. It was like every single event in my life that I tried to forget about or cover up with drug use came back to me, strong and guilt-ridden. They would come back one by one, or sometimes all at once. I still get regular nightmares of impending doom or hopelessness, and I think it is because I am afraid of allowing myself to be happy because of childhood events. I always expect the worse by default, and happiness means trouble is near in my mind. I was abused both physically and emotionally as a child and still deal with serious self-esteem and guilt issues on a regular basis.

I don't find myself questioning whether or not they were real- or at least most of my memories for they are still pretty vivid in my mind, but I do find myself wondering if I wasn't exaggerating them in my mind. I find that when the memories emerge from a source of seemingly unrelated stimulation they tend to be genuine versus when they emerge as a way to justify a certain behavior. For example, you say that it was difficult for you to go to the dentist not because of the pain but because someone from your past was a dentist. It seems somewhat unrelated to me, it seems what you fear was being reminded of a past event that you would like to forget. I would say this is probably a genuine memory from my own experience because there is no reason to lie to yourself- it would be different if you were really afraid of the physical pain and were using the association to put off going.

If it is something that really happened, the memory was formed and is there. If you don't like thinking about it, it is possible to keep pushing to down or away but it will continue to surface until it is dealt with. I can not say for certain, but I would venture to say that you really do remember what happened (cognitive memory begins around the age of 3 I think) but maybe you don't want to remember and a lot of time passed so therefore you can not recall on command. It is like a word that you used to know but never used and have since forgotten- the impression is still there and given the right circumstance and stimulation, the memory will return if you listen for it.