Guy's i'm reaching out, I really need some help here; First thing first, i'm 21 year old, 6'3, white, handsome male, and I've signed a pretty standard "pain contract" with my Family Practitioner;
I've been taking Norco 10/325 b.i.d./ tid, for 1 year, to treat level 6-7 chronic back and neck pain related to arthritis. Had Mri's, tried chiropractry, stretching, swimming, the whole 9..
It is not effective at all, at the prescribed dosage, and I often use up to the equivalent of 200mg hydrocodone per day, often supplementing my Rx with Opana, Oxycodone, Morphine works great, and when I can't find those I'll settle for Buperenorphine or Tramadol to get some relief.
Contrary to common belief, I don't get high at all when I take these drugs. I do tend to "feel better' in the sense that when I take the pills, i'm able, and willing, to get up off my ass and work HARD.
When I don't have the pills, the pain comes back at least the same intensity, and i'm back to being stuck in a chair, don't want to do a single thing because it fucking hurts, man. The only relief I can get without opiates, is WEED, and I have a huge tolerance, and i'm going broke trying to treat my pain with expensive street pharms and bud, it's just a rip off, I don't care who ya are!!
I want it to be understood that i'm not some junkie who sticks himself and proceeds to suck his own dick for the next hour, but I won't judge anybody...i sincerely just want some pain relief so that I can get on with my life, and contribute to society, sincerely.
Bottom line is, i'm sick and tired of trying to maintain myself, blowing all my money just to get some pain relief.
I have a doctors appt. Monday. I always get so nervous, and this time with good reason. I've decided it's finally time to tell my doctor of my tolerance and possible pseudo-addiction, if you will.
I would really appreciate any of your thoughts on;
1.) Should I tell my doctor of my tolerance/abuse to obtain relief? Like I said, when i'm fixed up, I get up and I work hard until the drugs are well worn off and the pain is back at full gear. It is by no means recreational, unless you consider functioning at a normal level rather fun..i don't but I do thoroughly enjoy being able to contribute.
2.) I've been seriously considering asking for a stronger medication. How should I go about doing this??
3.) I Fear my doctor will want me off all opioids (I always do, drug tests often etc etc..) and if that is the case would it be wise to claim "addiction" in order to get Buprenorpine maintenance?? What are the odds for a Family doc to RX bupe, OFF LABEL for pain??
4.) If I tell my doctor that I've been using Opana, Oxycontin, Dilaudid, Tramadol, and Bupe all from the streets, to treat my pain WILL HE FIRE ME AS A PATIENT?? Or worse, will he red flag me as a seeker??
in leu of my pain contract? (it's rather standard, no early refills, no doctor shopping, drug tests, etc etc..
Basically, any way I can look at this thing, I loose. It's so frustrating to not only be in chronic pain, but having the medications that work so well so tightly controlled, and misunderstood.
Most of my family knows of my pain, and half of them know of my drug use...even the ones who understand are too ingnorant truly "understand" that i'm truly seeking help, they could get "high" off 2 lortab, and I take 10+ a day, so they automatically assume junkie I suppose, although they see how well I function when i'm well, and how poorly I do when i'm not. So the drugs really don't cause any problems with them, other than me constantly asking for money, and seeing me feel like hell when i'm without and in pain.
Any comments or advice before Monday would be greatly appreciated. Sincerley, Treefa
P.S. I'm young, and i'd hate to be red flagged and not get any pain relief, all because of me being honest with my doc, which i'm sure has happened to many.