Pitiful incomprehensible demoralization

[brownbradley39]

I surely believe tonight is the feeling in the title above. It's truly been awhile since i've been this low. My best friend kicked me out on the street after stealing pills, i'm out on the streets cold and it's the first time in a long while questioning the will to leave. I just honestly at this point can't see a life without this sort of letdown at some point. I don't know but the tunnel has never seemed this darker. I'm to afraid to turn to anybody for everybody has thought things were turning around for me. Suicide has never seemed more inviting but I don't want to die, I just don't want to live at this point. I'm really at a troubling point.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I'm to afraid to turn to anybody for everybody has thought things were turning around for me.

Don't let your pride stand in the way of asking for the help you need.

I spent years and years refusing to show anyone any vulnerability and it really fucked me over. We're all imperfect and make mistakes, it's what makes us human.

Don't let your brain trick you in to believing your own bullshit. I'm sure those people that you don't want to disappoint by admitting you've fucked up again will shed more tears if you top yourself than if you turn to them asking for help and being honest about your problems.

I'm very unhappy at the moment but the way I see it either I top myself or I try and pick myself up and push forward and deal with my issues each day. I don't want to cause people all that pain by topping myself so pushing on it is. Try and set yourself an achievable goal each day that will move you towards where you want to be, and try to make sure you complete it. Even if it's something as simple as saying sorry to your mate. That way no matter how bad things are you can at least get your head down in the evening knowing you've made progress and you can wake up each day feeling as if you have some purpose. If you don't complete it, well at least you have been trying and that is something you can be proud of.

That's how I try to think anyway.

 

[brownbradley39]

The only thing keeping me somewhat sane right now is that i'm moving 9 hours away from him and his family, my best friend. His last words to me were "fuck you". I just hope this can be a new start.

 

[herbavore]

I am sorry that things have swung so low. What is your strategy for starting over somewhere else? Hang in there and have faith that you can create change deep inside that will manifest a different life for you. Take help wherever it is offered.

 

[Maya]

Hi borwnbradley how is your relationship with your family? Do you think you can get in touch with them to see if they are willing to take you for this moment?

 

[NaN]

Hmm. I'm sorry to hear that and I can partly relate. How long have you known him? I lost contact to my best friend I've known for 20+ years due to some unfortunate events and it lasted for more than a year. Eventually I ended up messaging him something because I missed him and the reply was something like "I never thought that we wouldn't see each other again", and the last message before this was also "Fuck you" to me. SO, what I'm trying to say here is that real friendship is such a thing... and maybe time will heal. Try not to think it as a new start right away if this friend is important to you, rather call it a "timeout". Hope you're doing fine anyway!