FrogWarrior
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2013
- Messages
- 153
I've been on so many different substances over the past 5 years, mainly amphetamines but looking at withdrawal threads on benzobuddies, I see I've done way more benzos than most of the people talking about withdrawals there. Opioids, GHB/baclofen/phenibut, and various antidepressants just stopped working on me. Now I'm 5 days out from a short relapse and I'm actually feeling great. I mean my mood is good, I got this euphoria in my stomach. And at the same time I'm feeling like crap in other ways. I have all kinds of symptoms, but I don't have to work right now, I can just sit around all day in front of my laptop, which is all I feel like I can do but without having to do anything, this withdrawal isn't that bad. Anhedonia is a real bastard, that follows me into dreams, but once that wears off things seem to get 100 times better because I'm not bored out of my mind while sitting on a chair all day. Akathisia is horrific but it seems to come and go, right now its barely there at all. I must be doing something right because I remember withdrawals being so much worse than this. After a paranormal experience I had a while ago (I got pinned down by something invisible, scared the crap out of me) I'm much more open minded about everything, so I've been going to this Reiki master and it actually works. Unless we both had collective hallucinations, this is real, the things I felt she started describing them to me and I hadn't said anything to her about them. Like this massive ringing in my ear, she said she got the same thing. But the notable thing is I was free of the symptoms while she was doing that reiki thing on me, I felt like I was in an altered state and I felt stoned for a good hour or so afterwards too. Maybe this is whats making the withdrawal easier. Maybe its the change in my belief system. I realise now that I'm not completely at the mercy of my neurochemistry like I believed before.
I'm also heaping vitamins and nutrients into me, I much rather drinking water with vitamin C tablets dissolved in it since it tastes better so I've been taking between 3 and 5000mg of it per day. I think the combination of stimulant and sedative withdrawals balances out the sleep issues. I wake up a few times each night, but I've been getting 8 hours sleep each night. I'd probably be sleeping 18 if it wasn't for all the sedatives I was using over the years. Things become a nightmare when I decide I'm going to take a break from the withdrawal and go on a short binge, because I start craving getting high so badly that its all I can think about. But being high isn't even all that good, I don't know what the big appeal is to me. I'm thinking that now because my state is alright, but when the symptoms come on strongly then I understand what the appeal is. Thats why I think people with substance abuse issues, they're self medicating because if they were in a decent state to begin with, they wouldn't have any need to keep altering their state. Most people don't understand why I have this urge to constantly take substances, my guess is thats because most people have good baseline neurochemistry. Mine seems to be improving with this reiki thing (my neighbour is a reiki master and she barely charges anything for it) so the need to take drugs is dropping. Before I had this paranormal experience, I thought all these alternative healing practices were bullshit, I was open minded on the surface, but that was the belief at the back of my mind. So this crazy experience was a blessing for me. If a grown man can be completely overpowered by something invisible like that, then fuck knows what else is possible. I had a confirmed out of body experience years ago but this entity attack thing is what really made me more open minded. So I think beliefs plays a huge role in why people find themselves stuck in shit states. Everyone theoretically believes in the placebo effect because its accepted as a reality by mainstream science, but mainstream science is also what prevents most people from utilising it. If the placebo effect is real, then people expressing skepticism about things outside of the mainstream are interfering with peoples ability to utilise it. By lucid dreaming you get to know how all this works. You need to KNOW something for your subconscious to act on it, just theoretically believing its possible isn't the same thing. The mother of all ways to override these self imposed limitations is to know the ultimate truth about reality. That we don't know shit. That keeps the mind open.
I'm also heaping vitamins and nutrients into me, I much rather drinking water with vitamin C tablets dissolved in it since it tastes better so I've been taking between 3 and 5000mg of it per day. I think the combination of stimulant and sedative withdrawals balances out the sleep issues. I wake up a few times each night, but I've been getting 8 hours sleep each night. I'd probably be sleeping 18 if it wasn't for all the sedatives I was using over the years. Things become a nightmare when I decide I'm going to take a break from the withdrawal and go on a short binge, because I start craving getting high so badly that its all I can think about. But being high isn't even all that good, I don't know what the big appeal is to me. I'm thinking that now because my state is alright, but when the symptoms come on strongly then I understand what the appeal is. Thats why I think people with substance abuse issues, they're self medicating because if they were in a decent state to begin with, they wouldn't have any need to keep altering their state. Most people don't understand why I have this urge to constantly take substances, my guess is thats because most people have good baseline neurochemistry. Mine seems to be improving with this reiki thing (my neighbour is a reiki master and she barely charges anything for it) so the need to take drugs is dropping. Before I had this paranormal experience, I thought all these alternative healing practices were bullshit, I was open minded on the surface, but that was the belief at the back of my mind. So this crazy experience was a blessing for me. If a grown man can be completely overpowered by something invisible like that, then fuck knows what else is possible. I had a confirmed out of body experience years ago but this entity attack thing is what really made me more open minded. So I think beliefs plays a huge role in why people find themselves stuck in shit states. Everyone theoretically believes in the placebo effect because its accepted as a reality by mainstream science, but mainstream science is also what prevents most people from utilising it. If the placebo effect is real, then people expressing skepticism about things outside of the mainstream are interfering with peoples ability to utilise it. By lucid dreaming you get to know how all this works. You need to KNOW something for your subconscious to act on it, just theoretically believing its possible isn't the same thing. The mother of all ways to override these self imposed limitations is to know the ultimate truth about reality. That we don't know shit. That keeps the mind open.
Last edited:
