Thans....taco dude...it is indeed sad...the thought of me going thru life without her is unimaginable....but I strongly feel the only REAL way of bettering this situation is when BOTH of us are truthful with each other as far as right or wrongs. Me taking all the responsibilities will ultimately lead to me having an underlying anger and resentment.... It's simply important to me to have the perso I admire most in the world to admit to me that, in fact, I am NOT at fault 100% of the time. I don't know if anyone knows how it feels be of the belief that EVER SINGLE PROBLEM in a marriage is ones fault.....for someone who considers the self a decent human being, it can be crushing....27 years together.....and EVERY SINGLE problem was my doing????? Kills me.
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OD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
Opioids Whats your take on my story??
- Thread starter gabagool
- Start date
Guys, I just want to say thank you again, to everyone. I guess I'm really lonesome. In two months I've spoken with no one. My inlaws wont talk to me....at work my employee will tell me anything I want to hear...I don't blame them, they are afraid of alienating me....but I'm not looking for yes men, just some simple conversation on how this addiction can effect relationships. You know, I always battled with myself whether addicts should be considered criminals, and now that I feel like I'm being treated as one.....I feel it's so wrong, and I'm not even breaking any laws.......selfis, I know...and that another thing that gets me down.....I've never considered myself as selfis....but maybe I'm wrong. I know self pity isny attractive and I DONT reflect that day to day....but it just feels right to express true feelings to people who understand the WILD variations of feelings addicts go through
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
Well, I didn't say that.
In my opinion you were making things right, and doing a damn good job. You just wanted to slow a taper slightly (of a drug she knew about, that your doctor prescribed and agreed with you, that you were still making steady progress on lowering the dosage, wtf.) ? Big whoop.
If your wife had a family member who was really REALLY deep into opioids, like smashing your window and stealing her stereo deep, she'd be thanking her lucky stars she has a husband who not only feels like shit, but keeps beating himself up. Stop it man, it was a little lie. You weren't cheating on her with a women covered in subutex packaging. You ate a tiny bit more of a gross tasting medication.
I mean, what, is she perfect or something? A rhodes scholar? Part of the presidents cabinet? A self made millionaire on her own who feeds orphans in her spare time? It honestly sounds to me like it wasn't really all about the buprenorphine in the first place. She sounds a bit passive aggressive, and this is THE thing to beat you over the head with, and make sure you know you're trash.
It just blows my mind that she'd go off like that over such a tiny amount of a prescribed drug you've been tapering successfully! You'll be alright though. I'd really consider the loperamide route I was talking about, a fast 10-15-18 day taper starting with like 40 mg (only you take ten every two hours until you feel normal) And then reduce it by 1mg a day, or half of that.
You'll be ok if you truly love each other. You generally have to do more than tell a white tiny lie like that (unless your wife is the odd woman out) to destroy a marriage. But there are those people who would divorce you over caffeine so who knows.
btw, if you needa talk to someone, I can send you my skype name!
wouldn't be a problem, I know the feeling.
Thanks lol......u really think a quick taper like that wouldn't fuck me up, gives me PAWS???? I heard Imodium is great, but I heard that u can become hooked on it.....and IM SURE. She would see this a a sigh of weakness, needing another crutch......so I gotta lie again......
You make it sound real appealing, I do some research on it. Did u use bupe????
You make it sound real appealing, I do some research on it. Did u use bupe????
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
Dad was a Psychologist, Mom was a social worker, it comes naturally lol
No I don't do bupe - ever. I have some sitting behind me that I found, but it would cause precipitated W/d and not be fun anyway even if it it didn't. I guess I like to think that I'll take it in two years after I'm off opioids for a year, when it will actually be euphoric again, at least for one time (when I was opioid naive, I abused the hell out of 24 2mg bupe pills for a month and a half, nodding out every night, high constantly and when I ran out experienced no withdrawals whatsoever *shrug*)
Why's she need to know about the lope? You buy one two pack from wal mart (144 pills) and tell her you're taking them for the diarrhea from the cold turkeying, which you are. Only difference is you'll be taking SLIGHTLY more and tapering it rapidly. She probably doesn't even know that loperamide is an opioid mu agonist just like heroin.... only not CNS active.
It is a crutch though, I hold it really fucking tight. I was never gonna go down the methadone/bupe maintenance path, 200 bucks worth of lope could last me a year..... no W/D to speak of, I just need to be more diligent about writing down my dosage so I can be moving in a linearly negative direction. (I probably took no more than 18-24 mg today (9-12 pills) and I only took those 9 pills after I started feeling my legs get a tiny bit sore - I'm a pussy. Not too bad, a few weeks ago some days I was taking 50-60 pills one day, and 30 the next.
You however are at .5mg of bupe.... I somehow think you wouldn't even need 20mg. I mean the maximum amount on the bottle it says not to take in a day is 16mg.
TheLostBoys
Bluelighter
Not to be mean, but your wife sounds like a bitch.......how can she still be as mad with you as she was back then? She sounds like a self absorbed cold hearted psycho bitch.
I can understand if you had 3 million & you were cheating on her while snorting coke of a hookers ass, but the only thing you did was drink tea which gave you the ability to start a successful company that made her very happy & secured the families future & you did very well.
Most wives if not all would ask you if you wanted anymore tea.......& can they suck your johnson while you're sipping that tea.
Now I'm not saying to leave you family/wife for good but grow some balls & tell her that you're getting treatment & in time you will be back to your old self. Also tell her to show support towards your recovery........
I can understand if you had 3 million & you were cheating on her while snorting coke of a hookers ass, but the only thing you did was drink tea which gave you the ability to start a successful company that made her very happy & secured the families future & you did very well.
Most wives if not all would ask you if you wanted anymore tea.......& can they suck your johnson while you're sipping that tea.
Now I'm not saying to leave you family/wife for good but grow some balls & tell her that you're getting treatment & in time you will be back to your old self. Also tell her to show support towards your recovery........
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
Have you read his posts? He loves his wife and wants to reconcile in the quickest way possible, not fucking give her an ultimatum. I agree, he deserves a hell of a lot more slack then he's gotten, but saying "You're being a bitch, I'll go at my own pace, support me or fuck off" ain't gonna go down well from how this relationship sounds.
TheLostBoys
Bluelighter
I read his posts & it sounds like she has his balls in her back pocket......if he wants to be treated like a dog, then fine by me.
I've owned several businesses with my father & brother & I always great people the way I want to be treated.
I'm not married but do have a gf & we treat each other respectfully & as long as she treats me fair, all is good.
Money is nothing in a family without respect for each other & love for one another.
I've owned several businesses with my father & brother & I always great people the way I want to be treated.
I'm not married but do have a gf & we treat each other respectfully & as long as she treats me fair, all is good.
Money is nothing in a family without respect for each other & love for one another.
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
I think you meant treat. Maybe she feels that she'd want tough love if on a low dose of a maintenance medication for opioid addiction, even if it is was probably the among the most calm addictions I've heard of, and definitely one of the more determined people I've heard about trying to get of bupe.
soapdealer
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2014
- Messages
- 3
Just a suggestion but you can always try the taper plan I used. Since your already down to .5 mg your already ahead of the game and should be proud of yourself! Bupe can be a rough thing to kick. This was my taper and I'll just start at what your at.
Since your stable at .5mg you can drop that to .25mg and remain on that dose per day till you have no withdrawal symptoms, you may not even feel any WD's; I stayed on that dose for 1 1/2 weeks but that's just me and had no issues.
Once your stable at .25 mg you have the option to reduce that to .125 mg and continue same as above or start skipping days. Personally I went with skipping days.
So you'd dose on day 1, then skip day 2, then dose day 3, then skip day 4 and 5, then dose on day 6, then skip days 7 8 and 9, then dose on day 10 etc.
After your skipping over 3 days you can just jump off, I stayed on till i was skipping 4 days then jumped. I experienced very very little if NONE withdrawal symptoms, you can also use Loperamide throughout this process if needed.
You are truly in a rough situation but I believe you can make it right again =) My GF also HATES all drugs so I know where your coming from.
I wish you the best my man, stay positive
Since your stable at .5mg you can drop that to .25mg and remain on that dose per day till you have no withdrawal symptoms, you may not even feel any WD's; I stayed on that dose for 1 1/2 weeks but that's just me and had no issues.
Once your stable at .25 mg you have the option to reduce that to .125 mg and continue same as above or start skipping days. Personally I went with skipping days.
So you'd dose on day 1, then skip day 2, then dose day 3, then skip day 4 and 5, then dose on day 6, then skip days 7 8 and 9, then dose on day 10 etc.
After your skipping over 3 days you can just jump off, I stayed on till i was skipping 4 days then jumped. I experienced very very little if NONE withdrawal symptoms, you can also use Loperamide throughout this process if needed.
You are truly in a rough situation but I believe you can make it right again =) My GF also HATES all drugs so I know where your coming from.
I wish you the best my man, stay positive
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
You could do that, but I'm pretty sure if he took 15mg he'd be fine, and then taper .25mg a day. You keep tapering with lope .25 a day, you'd be at 0 in two months.
While perfect for withdrawing from bupe, he still has to take a controlled drug. 15mg is less then the maximum dose written on the bottle. It removes all withdrawals just like bupe, only without the energy, or the price.
Ksa
Ex-Bluelighter
I have to leave in like 30 seconds so here's my 30 seconds response: Are you sexually submissive? Do you enjoy this?
You see the issue, according to women equal rights principle, if you made 3M$, now it's her turn to make herself 3M$ and contribute to the family. If however she chooses to be a classical wife, or, a house wife, God forbid she ever questions your ways, not to mention "demand" things from you. In such a case, it would be a lack of respect to even insinuate that taking opioids is wrong, because you would obviously have the final word on what is right and what is wrong. Even if you are wrong, even if you say 2 + 2 = 5, it's lack of respect for her to say it's 4 and question you. Why? Because you bring the income and you know better obviously.
What she's doing is she's having the best of both worlds. She is a classical wife when it comes to taking responsibility especially with respect to income, but she's a modern wife when it comes to demands and asking you to leave. I suggest you find a good lawyer...the "or leave" part bothers me. Someone who loves you wouldn't say that, especially in your situation where you are highly functional and made so much money.
This is why religion can play a positive role in some families, meaning, it sets straight, from the beginning, the roles of each life mate so that later on there is no ambiguity, and one cannot demand more than he/she is entitled to demand.
Also, be VERY careful at the medical advice given by your family. Your family will give you medical advice based on what THEY want, not on what is right for you, so the medical advice will likely be wrong 100%. Simply put, dude, you've started a business, you've showed you have initiative and management skills, you can surely manage your opioid addiction under doctor supervision, any idiot can manage that, you don't need improper tapering advice from your wife, especially when your doctor also tells you it's wrong.
It is good that she's pushing you to do things but from the looks of it, it's more towards her interest than towards your own lol. It's such a lack of respect to even suggest you go to rehab...dude she's treating you like a junkie, I would slap her shit big time, but that's just me. It has nothing to do with women, it's the way the brain works, if you set no limits and give her your hand, she'll take your leg too.
You're telling her that she might have to put up with your withdrawal symptoms, in a way, you try to tell her that HER decision to get you off the opioids might not have been right after all. You're like, hiding behind a window, waving a white flag hoping she'll notice you and not shoot you with an RPG. Are you crazy? The decision making belongs to you obviously. My judgement is only based on your perspective of things, reality might be very different. Is she a L'OREAL model?
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Ksa
Ex-Bluelighter
Media in North America is like the star reading oracle in Matrix: It tells you exactly what you need to hear.
A 60 y.o. baby boomer who never took a Tylenol needs to watch something that makes him feel good about himself. He watches people OD on CNN and thinks "It's what you get for using drugs...junkie."
In my personal opinion, if you recognize yourself in the above description, you should find a good priest and pray the idiot away from your body, obviously because any logical explanation will fail to fix you.
You know in India, Media broadcasts hot milk ceremonies! Where boiling-hot milk is poured on babies to make them strong! The torture goes live also, with screams and of course the commentator laughing and bringing joy to his audience. Why? Because it's right? NO! Because it's what Indian people need to hear. That their practices are ok. So of course, every time I see an OD case on TV and a cocksucker talking about drugs, I change the channel.
A 60 y.o. baby boomer who never took a Tylenol needs to watch something that makes him feel good about himself. He watches people OD on CNN and thinks "It's what you get for using drugs...junkie."
In my personal opinion, if you recognize yourself in the above description, you should find a good priest and pray the idiot away from your body, obviously because any logical explanation will fail to fix you.
You know in India, Media broadcasts hot milk ceremonies! Where boiling-hot milk is poured on babies to make them strong! The torture goes live also, with screams and of course the commentator laughing and bringing joy to his audience. Why? Because it's right? NO! Because it's what Indian people need to hear. That their practices are ok. So of course, every time I see an OD case on TV and a cocksucker talking about drugs, I change the channel.
LOL.....I bought some Imodium today...couldn't find the large size so I bought 4 12 packs...to try...I kinda feel like shit today...don't understand it....been on .5 almost 10 days, I think.....u r right gotta get me a calander and keep better track.......14-15 gr huh?? It's one of these shitty humid days.....one of my biggest problems when I feel crappy....went through that crap the hideous vacation week
Do I take the eh whole 14 gr at once?? Thanks again, man.....big time
LOSTBOYS
Man, I can see how you say that....it's how I described her.......look, I've been with her foe 27 years...she is the most capable, self disciplined woman I've ever known. She is what most mothers would want their sons to marry. She doesn't waste money. She dresses nice.......in fact, to be honest, I'm probably the the only person in this world who she lets get her crazy. I haven't heard I love you in over a dozen years..........but I will. On top of it all, I think she is the most beautiful woman in the world....and I mean that with all my heart. She gets better looking as she gets older.....she's better looking NOW than she was this morning.
God put her on this earth for me, I'm convinced of that............but it hasn't been easy.....and I TOTALLY get what you have to say.
SOAPDEALER- thanks for the schedule...sounds doable....and I really appreciate the good wishes.........here is the ONLY
place I hear them.
KSA......Christ, how can you possibly make more sense?? I really appreciate the religion comment....it's so true.....unfortunately, human beings don't always make sense. I've driven her crazy over the years.....inability to provide......coming home tense and frustrated from 14 hour work days ( I mention the hours because I know SOME men can leave work and put on a happy face...I simply couldn't...I put EVERY OUNCE OF PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL effort into trying to make something out of the business.....just not man enough to put on a happy face for the well being of my wife and kids......I could kick myself in the ass!!!!
Yep...I'm officially feeling like shit...this humidity is killing me.......why now???
Oh, one other thing...I found a place and I'm moving tomorrow....I rented hotel rooms for 8 weeks, hoping she would let me back...but that was costing 1800 a month....so I signed a lease....put a sense of finality of the whole mess......Sooo! I don't want to feel crappy moving, in 90 degree heat....is it ok that I take 1 gr only tommorrow? I was at that for a month...no probs...or should I do .50 and Imodium??? Thanks again, everyone, lifesavers......
Do I take the eh whole 14 gr at once?? Thanks again, man.....big time
LOSTBOYS
Man, I can see how you say that....it's how I described her.......look, I've been with her foe 27 years...she is the most capable, self disciplined woman I've ever known. She is what most mothers would want their sons to marry. She doesn't waste money. She dresses nice.......in fact, to be honest, I'm probably the the only person in this world who she lets get her crazy. I haven't heard I love you in over a dozen years..........but I will. On top of it all, I think she is the most beautiful woman in the world....and I mean that with all my heart. She gets better looking as she gets older.....she's better looking NOW than she was this morning.
God put her on this earth for me, I'm convinced of that............but it hasn't been easy.....and I TOTALLY get what you have to say.
SOAPDEALER- thanks for the schedule...sounds doable....and I really appreciate the good wishes.........here is the ONLY
place I hear them.
KSA......Christ, how can you possibly make more sense?? I really appreciate the religion comment....it's so true.....unfortunately, human beings don't always make sense. I've driven her crazy over the years.....inability to provide......coming home tense and frustrated from 14 hour work days ( I mention the hours because I know SOME men can leave work and put on a happy face...I simply couldn't...I put EVERY OUNCE OF PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL effort into trying to make something out of the business.....just not man enough to put on a happy face for the well being of my wife and kids......I could kick myself in the ass!!!!
Yep...I'm officially feeling like shit...this humidity is killing me.......why now???
Oh, one other thing...I found a place and I'm moving tomorrow....I rented hotel rooms for 8 weeks, hoping she would let me back...but that was costing 1800 a month....so I signed a lease....put a sense of finality of the whole mess......Sooo! I don't want to feel crappy moving, in 90 degree heat....is it ok that I take 1 gr only tommorrow? I was at that for a month...no probs...or should I do .50 and Imodium??? Thanks again, everyone, lifesavers......
You didn't do anything wrong my friend. The Loperamide just did what it's capable of doing which is lessening/eliminating opiate withdrawal symptoms for a period of time.
That being said, ***PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE LOPERAMIDE!*** It can definitely turn into an addiction before you even realize it. Last winter, I started taking it during the early stages of Suboxone withdrawal to help with my symptoms...welp, before I knew it, I was taking it every day and also increasing my doses at that. I never got too crazy with my use of it (topped out at about 40mg per day) but doing that for six months straight got me very addicted to the Loperamide. I'm currently right in the thick of cold turkey Loperamide withdrawal and it is absolutely no joke. It takes a very long time to get through and the symptoms can be absolutely agonizing.
Use the Loperamide sparingly to help cope with your symptoms and taper off it as quickly as you can tolerate. Good luck!
That being said, ***PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE LOPERAMIDE!*** It can definitely turn into an addiction before you even realize it. Last winter, I started taking it during the early stages of Suboxone withdrawal to help with my symptoms...welp, before I knew it, I was taking it every day and also increasing my doses at that. I never got too crazy with my use of it (topped out at about 40mg per day) but doing that for six months straight got me very addicted to the Loperamide. I'm currently right in the thick of cold turkey Loperamide withdrawal and it is absolutely no joke. It takes a very long time to get through and the symptoms can be absolutely agonizing.
Use the Loperamide sparingly to help cope with your symptoms and taper off it as quickly as you can tolerate. Good luck!
lolwhatzdrugs
Bluelighter
What is a gr? Generally I'd take that to mean grams, but you'd be dead, same if you meant grains lol
You'll have to clarify what doses you're talking about.
Loperamide IS an opioid, my idea was you take as little as possible and taper quickly if you for sure needed off bupe quickly. You will only indeed be backpedaling if you're taking quite a bit of it, as in more than you need. It however does not enter your brain like buprenorphine, and it has a slightly shorter half life (17 hours Vs. 24 hours).
Weren't you on .5mg of bupe?
Also let's delineate addiction and dependency. Loperamide will not get you high, I doubt there's anyone out there tossing it down their throat for a buzz, or if there is they're stupid. Addiction usually has a psychological component, a chase of a feeling. Looks like the only feeling you're after is normal, keep the doses as low as possible (it takes quite a bit to kick in, like four hours for full effects of a dose....) and you'll be ok, as long as you taper .25-.5mg a day.
You'll have to clarify what doses you're talking about.
Loperamide IS an opioid, my idea was you take as little as possible and taper quickly if you for sure needed off bupe quickly. You will only indeed be backpedaling if you're taking quite a bit of it, as in more than you need. It however does not enter your brain like buprenorphine, and it has a slightly shorter half life (17 hours Vs. 24 hours).
Weren't you on .5mg of bupe?
Also let's delineate addiction and dependency. Loperamide will not get you high, I doubt there's anyone out there tossing it down their throat for a buzz, or if there is they're stupid. Addiction usually has a psychological component, a chase of a feeling. Looks like the only feeling you're after is normal, keep the doses as low as possible (it takes quite a bit to kick in, like four hours for full effects of a dose....) and you'll be ok, as long as you taper .25-.5mg a day.
Ksa
Ex-Bluelighter
@gabagool
^_^
Let me know if you got a job opportunity, chemist-engineer here looking for a job, unfortunately, doing so in Canada. I wish I was in US.
^_^
Let me know if you got a job opportunity, chemist-engineer here looking for a job, unfortunately, doing so in Canada. I wish I was in US.
Thanks, lol.....what do u mean taper .25 to .5? Do u mean the lope?? Cause I am on .5 mg of subutex, yesterday being my first day
That I didn't feel so hot.....after about 11 days at that dosage. You're not saying to cut that in half, are u?? Sorry for being so thick.