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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

I decided that with nothing to do tonight, I should go on a classic movie watching binge of those that I haven't watched. First up, Pulp Fiction. Holy SHIT. What a masterpiece. I must say, I'm still going over it all in my mind an hour later.

Not sure which I'm going to watch next, but I'm thinking either Reservoir Dogs, Sin City, or Taxi Driver.

I hope everyone is having a great Saturday night <3
 
Wow, my Saturday night got pretty intense. I received my new MXE yesterday and decided to christen the bag, but couldn't get ahold of anyone so I was going to do it at home by myself. Then literally 15 seconds before I ate some, my friend texted me and wanted to do some with me, so I drove over there. He took 30mg and I ended up taking about 65mg total with redoses. It was a really great, therapeutic trip for everyone (even, I think, for the guy not taking it, he was really on the wavelength and we talked through all sorts of stuff). Me and my friend who took it talked about some really heavy shit that he had never told me and we worked through that as much as possible, and then discussed our other friend's toxic girlfriend situation and also with him and hopefully made some headway there... then when things started to feel pretty dark and scattered, we turned the conversation to the universe and the special place we have in it. Hard to put into words but it may have been my most profound MXE trip yet.

Oh and also at one point my friends were starting to talk about soldering and I had this crystal clear moment of clarity about how it works on a chemical level, turns out I was right, but I have never done or read anything about soldering before.
 
So I tried 3-meo-pcp last night and got just about zero effects. And i ended up pushing upwards of 20mg. Idk why this would be the case, friends had done the same batch and had overwhelming effects. Any ideas? I think next time I'm going to use a much larger starter dose? Maybe 10-12mg instead of 5
 
Weird, natural tolerance maybe? Food in the stomach? Seems like a pretty high dose.

So she isn't going to make it to the waterfall today. Fuck it, I'm going anyway. Gotta live up the summer while I can. I think I'll take some of my 2-FMA sample for it too.
 
Xorkoth said:
Yeah man to be honest it sounds like it. <3 I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping for something with this person, and maybe it will work and that will be awesome. But you are not protecting yourself here. It sounds like you've already defined what it is in your mind and you're setting yourself up for a crushing letdown if she doesn't reciprocate. Daydreaming is fun, don't I know it. :) But, it's just daydreaming until she actually contributes her part to the situation. If you're already planning trips with her I just fear for the pain you would feel if she didn't feel that way.

Hopefully she does feel that way! It sounds like she might at least from what you say. But you have to protect yourself man, you have to build these things one step at a time with the other person, or else it's all in your head and it hurts so much to realize that when you feel so strongly. So better to be cautious and that way there isn't a loss of a relationship for you to deal with (a relationship that only existed for you), it's just the loss of a great possibility.

Which is totally the same lesson I've just been learning. :) Easier said than done I know.
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aye... been really stuck in fantasy world the past couple of days. guess its the coming down off the drugs, self realisation etc... been a fucking journey. i seem to invest my emotions too heavily in some people or myself and always spit something negative out at the end of it... time is just passing so damn slowly now, despite me losing my entire summer to a copious psychedelic binge (which i don't regret whatsoever). wonder what the future holds for me frankly, i feel myself maturing, but its like the child inside me doesn't want me to let go and I'm not sure i do either. fucking life man. always seems to put me up in the corner and i get myself out somehow but with this i don't know....

waiting for my shipment of drugs to come, will likely be friday, so will have a final weekend of madness and then I'm seeing my adhd doctor - get my life back on track. studying biomedicine, can't wait for my course to re-start again but have to find things to do around it. have a real problem with my impulses and bordem frankly which leads me to temptation and bad things. also waiting for my friends to come back to england so i'll have people to socialise with, do drugs with, chill with etc. been far too long on my own really.

thanks for your words xorth. really appreciate them.

really craving the aMT, beer, fuck, just about anything i could get my hands on atm. had no idea aMT could kind of get a hold of me like this, it's actually a pretty damn addictive substance.
 
^damn...any idea of his current condition? I wish we could round up the massive amount of 25x remaining in the country and send them off to be returned to their former 2C-x compounds.
 
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Folley said:
What the fuck, man :(


Some kid OD'd on 25i at my house last night. I have no fucking idea where he got that shit..!! Ended up having to do CPR the entire way to the hospital :(
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Sucks to hear. I hope he ends up ok. :(

I've "forbidden" myself from ever touching nbXX compounds, but I do occasionally get tempted to try them out. Just yesterday I was considering "throwing in" some 25i-nboh alongside an order of allylescaline, 4-ho-mipt, and 4-aco-met. I had to go look up all the incidents with that shit and remind myself it's not worth it--People taking "normal" doses of 1-1.5mg while others experience catastrophic organ failure at 2.2mg, that's about as narrow an OD threshhold as you can find anywhere. Imagine if 40mg of 4-aco-dmt was a lethal dose!

I can safely say, fuck that shit.
 
I went to the waterfall again today, great as always. The girl didn't come with but she did chat with me for a while and said she DOES want to go with me sometime for sure, and also that she wants to take a camping trip with me. So, that's a good thing. :)

synthetix said:
aye... been really stuck in fantasy world the past couple of days. guess its the coming down off the drugs, self realisation etc... been a fucking journey. i seem to invest my emotions too heavily in some people or myself and always spit something negative out at the end of it... time is just passing so damn slowly now, despite me losing my entire summer to a copious psychedelic binge (which i don't regret whatsoever). wonder what the future holds for me frankly, i feel myself maturing, but its like the child inside me doesn't want me to let go and I'm not sure i do either. fucking life man. always seems to put me up in the corner and i get myself out somehow but with this i don't know....

waiting for my shipment of drugs to come, will likely be friday, so will have a final weekend of madness and then I'm seeing my adhd doctor - get my life back on track. studying biomedicine, can't wait for my course to re-start again but have to find things to do around it. have a real problem with my impulses and bordem frankly which leads me to temptation and bad things. also waiting for my friends to come back to england so i'll have people to socialise with, do drugs with, chill with etc. been far too long on my own really.

thanks for your words xorth. really appreciate them.

really craving the aMT, beer, fuck, just about anything i could get my hands on atm. had no idea aMT could kind of get a hold of me like this, it's actually a pretty damn addictive substance.
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No problem man. :) I think you'll be fine. I tend to work my emotions up about people too, it's something I've been working on, especially with this girl I like. We all have issues, the key is to be aware of them and try to remain in an observer place where when you see it happening you can catch yourself and stop it. Easier said than done of course. But we're all human beings, animals who are to a large extent controlled by their brain chemicals. However we have the ability to be aware of our own awareness and that gives us the power to react to the things we're feeling in any way that we want. I have been finding that it gets easier with age. You'll get there man. :) Sounds like you have some good stuff going for you, And biomedicine sounds like a very interesting field to get into.

And yeah AMT can be quite addictive, I abused the shit out of it for a couple of years, like really crazy frequency of dosage. 7 days in a row once. :| I don't recommend that at all. AMT is best kept to a once in a while thing, like all monoamine releasers.

Folley said:
No clue :\ was the first time I've literally watched someone dying :(
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Sorry man, that's intense. <3
 
folley i'm so sorry about that. i watched my best friend OD on speed in the hospital once. thank christ he survived but now has a life long heart condition. was an absolutely terrifying and horrifying 16 hour ordeal i went through just holding his hand trying to get him back to earth. he kept coming back to whenever he was given a shot of diazepam at the hospital but then went back into a state of catatonia, was hyperventilating, couldn't talk etc.... was just terrible. was so scared he was going to die i completely forgot about the world and myself at that moment he was the most important thing in the world to me, even though id done the same and dosed terrible amounts of speed. luckily i didn't suffer the same fate, my mum and sisters came to visit me and him but i sat beside him all day and night holding onto his hand to make sure he made it through and if the worst came to the worst he had someone with him when he went. can't imagine going out alone in this world. is bringing me to tears at the moment christ. was a horrific time in my life and his I'm so glad he's still with us today, he's like a brother to me. helped me, supported me through the hardest times in my life.... couldn't imagine this life or world without him frankly. waiting for him to come back to america so we can get on with our journeys! christ. first time I've burst out in genuine tears for a very VERY long time.

yeah xorth. sascha shulgin and the psychedelics finally kickstarted my passion towards studying it, my drug abuse gave me something to relate it all to. always had it in the back of my mind as used to to study philosophy, politics and history quite intensely beforehand but just got tired and bored of it, couldn't continue along with the opiate abuse. slowed be down a lot but hopefully am getting back on track!

gotta learn to keep our emotions in check. used boxing as a means for that for a long period of time however not gotten back into it really, just been too lazy, but its seriously a fantastic way to manage them. if you get angry - you're finished. need to control the rage, control is key! same goes for life really, don't overstrain yourself and keep it cool and relaxed. you can do it man i know you can!

got a shipment for a lot of amt inbound for tuesday... truly too excited for words. really can't wait. it's terrible i know. hoping its just a phase.

I've "forbidden" myself from ever touching nbXX compounds,
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me too. won't go near them with a 10 foot pole frankly. they scare me way too much, can't see the pleasure in them, the fun, the trip everything just sounds chaotic.

allyescaline on the other hand as you've seen and I've found is actually a very forgiving and gentle compound, a lot of fun and definitely gives you a great time. it's a fantastic mixer with just about all psychs i've found! - but i hero dose at 250mg each time though. doh.

ALSO PS ITS MY BIRTHDAY NOW! WOOOHOO!
 
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Happy birthday Synthetix brooooo!!! Hope you have a great day mate :)

I'm in an odd position regarding the NBXX compounds, given my first psychedelic experience ever was on what was probably a bit of a high dose of 25i-NBOMe (2 tabs sold as 600ug/tab). Given I was naive at the time and knew very little if anything about the effects of these compounds (not just side effects; I had no idea what I was actually about to experience either), I'd have to say I was absolutely blown away. If 25i wasn't such a dangerous compound as I now know it to be, it was probably be on par as my #1 psych alongside mushrooms :(
 
Delsyd is right. I will say in my experience, your twenties can be pretty intense, you're really on a journey to discover who you are and become comfortable with yourself. I've had an easier time with that in the past couple of years, and I'm 31. Funny how the slow process of aging changes you so much, but you don't notice it day to day or week to week. Or even necessarily year to year, but looking back, you see it. I feel a lot more stable now. That's also because I got rid of my drug addiction. Addiction fucks you up royally and really hurts your self-esteem and stability.

The key is to identify things in your life that are not working for you, and eliminate them, because otherwise you're living a life that contains something toxic that will slowly eat away at you. In my case it was my relationship and my addiction. This is unrelated to the age thing but it's what I've learned recently. I learned it the hard way.
 
Happy birthday dude! PLEASE, from all of us here at BL, try to be a liiiittle safe(r)?

I know I haven't been on here the past few days, I really miss you guys. I've had a death in the family, all of my posts would be morbid if I had been on here lately. Trust me, you guys would rather not here from me when things happen. There's a reason I use drugs, reality's hard :P

Oh,I will say though, I've been offered before and turned down without hesitation, but finally tried smoking opium the other day. It was while I was already on 4 10 mg ER Opanas, and let me tell you, I haven't been that high off of anything since like middle school. I know this isn't OD, but I thought I'd throw it in there since this is just. Anyone know how long these last? I gotta go to my brother's birthday dinner in a few hours, I figured I could take some ritalin and straighten up. Love you guys, have a good day, and just remember, if you're spinning in circles, walk in a straight line! :)
 
Xorkoth said:
Delsyd is right. I will say in my experience, your twenties can be pretty intense, you're really on a journey to discover who you are and become comfortable with yourself. I've had an easier time with that in the past couple of years, and I'm 31. Funny how the slow process of aging changes you so much, but you don't notice it day to day or week to week. Or even necessarily year to year, but looking back, you see it. I feel a lot more stable now. That's also because I got rid of my drug addiction. Addiction fucks you up royally and really hurts your self-esteem and stability.

The key is to identify things in your life that are not working for you, and eliminate them, because otherwise you're living a life that contains something toxic that will slowly eat away at you. In my case it was my relationship and my addiction. This is unrelated to the age thing but it's what I've learned recently. I learned it the hard way.
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hopefully i'll make it through my 20's! hell I've had a hell of a joinery to get here as it is. been clean now for what feels like forever, feel like drugs are going to be a defining chapter in this party of my story (psychedelics) i believe. ah well. pretty sparkles. opiates destroyed me for a few years but I've got that devil off my shoulder for the time being. winter is when it normally hits me hardest though, so not looking forward to that.

mmmm... im struggling with that monkey. not sure what is and what isn't working if I'm completely honest. well, got a while to test things out eh? :D

@dstr8 nice to see you again dude, missed ya and was wondering where yard gone! sorry to hear about the passing, I'm sending my condolences. ha, safety is my middle name! 8( i think I'm the definition of self-loathing, indulgence and madness. id prefer to be unsafe with my life than bored as hell all the time. like i've said many a times, sobriety for me is the most dangerous drug!

i'm always spinning in circles bro. been doing it my whole life. straight just isn't an option.
 
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