Bomb319
Bluelighter
Not just coming down, it seems. Like I feel as if I don't enjoy it much to begin with as it just gets me sketchy and paranoid, shaky and heart racing. But I can never leave it alone either. Whatever I have some on me, I know I will end up waiting awhile and doing it agian, only to feel shitty again. I feel like this right after the toke too so not even before comedown. There's nothing I like much about this drug - I'm not seeking a once amazing high. It ends up being mainly out of boredom and the phychology of finding someone to score of off and then taking hits for awhile. I did this all the time with opiates, until I got off methadone. Opiates are my drug of choice and would way way rather have them than any form of coke. It's just crazy how I exhibit addictive behavior toward a drug that I don't really consciously like at all.
Oh and also right after I smoke, I check my heartbeat in paranoia and have these weird facial tics/flexes - like I have to keep moving my eyes or flexing my jaw, know what I mean?
Oh and also right after I smoke, I check my heartbeat in paranoia and have these weird facial tics/flexes - like I have to keep moving my eyes or flexing my jaw, know what I mean?