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I'm going to go sober for a long time

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Deleted member 175441

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Dec 14, 2010
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I need to live before I don't know if I'm dead
I just finished abusing ethylphenidate today. I could focus on reading and thinking at a fast (probably normal rate for non brain damaged ppl) rate about what I just read with interest. hours later I just get songs stick in my head and can't figure a single thing I give a fuck about.

I'm going to try to get in shape by exercising a lot. Who knows maybe being fit will help my schizophrenia.

Are there people here who can offer support and don't mind listening when I'm really down or suicidal?

I really will never be able to cope with having schizophrenia. It's most likely from smoking meth. I have to deal with one of the most debilitating diseases there are from a few mistakes I made. This will ultimately end my life.
 
whynaught said:
I just finished abusing ethylphenidate today. I could focus on reading and thinking at a fast (probably normal rate for non brain damaged ppl) rate about what I just read with interest. hours later I just get songs stick in my head and can't figure a single thing I give a fuck about.

I'm going to try to get in shape by exercising a lot. Who knows maybe being fit will help my schizophrenia.

Are there people here who can offer support and don't mind listening when I'm really down or suicidal?

I really will never be able to cope with having schizophrenia. It's most likely from smoking meth. I have to deal with one of the most debilitating diseases there are from a few mistakes I made. This will ultimately end my life.
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Hey man <3. It will be okay. You probably have a clue but I've been there many times from going too far down the rabbit hole. Days I KNEW I would never come back. Days after that first day it ran out that I knew I wasn't coming back..hell if I didn't come back in 3 days I'm never coming back. I did come back :). From the most realistic and horrifying psychotic breaks that I will admit can still haunt me today if I allow them. I don't know if those memories will ever go away. Or if I'll ever be able to pull a triple shift ever again without sleep.. But you aren't broken. I know that feeling and trust me you may think "no you probably didn't do what I did or how much I did, or how long I did it for" I can assure you that those same thoughts ran over and over in loops in my panic stricken head as people tried to console me.

All I can offer is the assurance that you won't feel like this forever.. You will most likely feel better in a few days granted you get good rest, eat well, drink well, and take some nice long showers. As much as those all probably sound grotesque and/or impossible at the moment if you do them they will heal you faster.

<3 You're not alone and you're not fucked so try to calm your brain. Remember this bad experience so that you never have to encounter it again and be thankful that you're alive and will be okay <3.
 
Does anyone have any tips on stopping cocaine addiction?? it is the only thing i like doing anymore and its becoming a huge problem
 
^IDK I'll tell u when I stop doing meth. Stimulants can be so fucking hard to quit because of the mental aspect. Sure we don't get sick from stopping, but we might as well be sick laying there at night begging for a hit or a line.
 
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