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Vent/Rant Thread vs. Don't get in my way

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My brother's best friend called me last night (he is also my friend, but was my brother's friend first)... Well, during the phone call he admitted to liking me and missing me. We fooled around the few months I was in CT. We went through a lot together up there (witnessing our friend die was one of them). However, I ended up going back home to PA and haven't seen him since March. I've been missing him so bad, but didn't know what to do, or if I should have even let him know. The thing is he is an alcoholic and heroin addict, and I know I can't get involved, but I stupidly can't let him go. He was clean from dope, but admitted to me last night that he started again and my brother has as well. Ugh. Why, does he have to be everything I want?! Just cut out the drug part and it would be perfect, but that isn't going to happen. I miss waking up to him playing guitar. I miss spending the majority of my days with him... He helped me through a lot, and is a good friend, but now that serious feelings got involved... I don't know. I fell for him when I layed on his bedroom floor and he read me the childrens book he's writing... and I'm kicking myself in the face.
 
im pissed off because i got into an argument with my parents who think that israel is justified in destroying palestinians. they think that palestine wants to set up a muslim world order to conquer the world and institute sharia law upon all other nations. it just makes me sick to my stomach. i should know better than breaching any political or religious topic with my parents, but i slipped up... how the fuck did i get 2 parents with the most fucking absurd/racist/fundamentalist ideologies on the planet??? and i have 6 more months that i have to live with them, FUCK!!!
 
That's frustrating man... you have my sympathies. I have a friend who was recently telling me about her family dynamics... her parents are super fundamentalist southern Baptist and they think that yoga is the devil's work (as well as most anything else - I just used a particularly ridiculous example. She said to them "guys, it's just stretching, it's just exercise!")... once when she lived with them, they searched her room and found a bunch of books about random stuff, science, eastern religions, etc... they called her a witch and made her move out, with crying and laments about an eternity of hell, etc. They even think that science is the devil. Growing up she had to participate in daily chanting ceremonies to ward off satan. It made me feel like any little issue I had with my parents wasn't no thang!
 
BAH!! I love thunderstorms and all, but NOT when I had plans too go to the beach today :(((
So bummer.... Hopefully it subsides before noon *crosses fingers*

Havent had a single chance to leave the city alllllllllll summer, and I'm going STIR CRAZY! Gotta get outta here at least once before summer is over. I can't stand my city X(
 
Well at least you're not hung up on him anymore, that's good. :) But yeah, try to work on dropping the anger and just not caring, because anger hurts you.
 
Xorkoth said:
That's frustrating man... you have my sympathies. I have a friend who was recently telling me about her family dynamics... her parents are super fundamentalist southern Baptist and they think that yoga is the devil's work (as well as most anything else - I just used a particularly ridiculous example. She said to them "guys, it's just stretching, it's just exercise!")... once when she lived with them, they searched her room and found a bunch of books about random stuff, science, eastern religions, etc... they called her a witch and made her move out, with crying and laments about an eternity of hell, etc. They even think that science is the devil. Growing up she had to participate in daily chanting ceremonies to ward off satan. It made me feel like any little issue I had with my parents wasn't no thang!
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wow.. well its good to know (kinda), that there are more radical christian parents out there.
 
fuck benzos. it's been a year. i still feel like i'm tripping acid. my skin still burns. my dick still won't get hard, i still have blurry vision. the first 8 months i was abusing heroin just to go to a fucking meeting. i'm 23 god damn years old. i loathe the heroin addicts who after 3-6 months return to full life, have kids, go to college, work etc. i slept 30 minutes a night for months on end. i felt like my nerves were being torn piece by piece. everything smelled disgusting. food tasted disgusting. my teeth were loose. i haven't successfully smoked pot or taken a nap in a year. i havent experienced morning wood in a long time. but i can look on the bright side, my pupils are dilating nicely as i regain my motor skills, with which i'm going to give my doctor a swift punch to the fucking nads for prescribing me this fucking garbage for 3 years and telling me i could go off of them in a couple days, and that the withdrawal would last a couple weeks max. i lost a child. i lost a house. i lost a girlfriend. because i had anxiety. 2 months ago i was wiping the bloody sinus discharge from where it ran down to my mouth, running to the window every 5-15 minutes to take a piss and waking up to a panic attack with shit in my pants and vomiting constantly after looking myself in the mirror and saying "I promise I'm not going to kill you today". That was when my reflection wouldn't shake it's fucking head and walk away. I live with an alcoholic father and i cant even have a sip of beer. Fuck benzos, fuck heroin, fuck a fucking yard flamingo, i don't give a fuck. I'm going to lay down and pray for death some more. PEACE
 
Xorkoth said:
That's frustrating man... you have my sympathies. I have a friend who was recently telling me about her family dynamics... her parents are super fundamentalist southern Baptist and they think that yoga is the devil's work (as well as most anything else - I just used a particularly ridiculous example. She said to them "guys, it's just stretching, it's just exercise!")... once when she lived with them, they searched her room and found a bunch of books about random stuff, science, eastern religions, etc... they called her a witch and made her move out, with crying and laments about an eternity of hell, etc. They even think that science is the devil. Growing up she had to participate in daily chanting ceremonies to ward off satan. It made me feel like any little issue I had with my parents wasn't no thang!
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That's really scary and horrible. It actually reminds me of the Waterboy's mama in Adam Sandler's movie... except it's not nearly as funny, bc it's actually real life. Sometimes, Christians can be the worst people on Earth, ironically. I feel for that girl, hopefully everything ends up alright. To be honest her moving out is probably the best thing for her anyway.
 
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Yeah she's an awesome girl, I really like hanging out with her. She seems pretty well-adjusted. I think the moving out happened quite a few years back. She does drugs sometimes (except weed, she does that a lot). She enjoys life. She doesn't seem too messed up but looking at her eyes while she spilled this story (we were smoking one day and she just started talking about it, for like 2 hours, clearly wanted to get it off her chest), she had a very hurt look that I hadn't seen before. I can understand for sure. That would be really painful to know that your parents will never accept or understand you. She is sad that they live in such a frightening and dark world, and that she basically can't even talk to them about anything.
 
I think if her parents choose to live that life, then they are comfortable with it. It definitely seems frightening and dark to people like us, but if they weren't comfortable with it I'm sure they wouldn't choose to live their lives by it. It sounds crazy but our world is the one that is frightening and dark in their eyes. There are less rules, less certainly, less divine protection, etc. So they probably feel safe and happy with their choice of beliefs. The problem comes when other people are harmed because of it. For those who are directly connected, especially by blood, like their daughter, it's hard, but for any of us, sometimes there can be people who are closer to us than certain members of family, for reasons just like that. Unfortunately, blood relationships don't guarantee good relationships. She doesn't have to lose touch with them, but relying on certain other people as her family is probably a better idea for her and her parents. It can be hard to find those people though, and choosing those people wisely can be difficult and sometimes risky. Introverts tend to be more acutely aware of discovering these people in their lives, but it can be harder because they don't go out as much. I am definitely one of these people.
 
Yes it's when people force their beliefs down the throats of others. I really don't believe in that sort of thing that's why I generally consider myself libertarian. Even things like communism, socialism, etc were all created by people trying to force others to conform to their beliefs. Of course, this is all in the interest of good intentions and a brighter future for the "greater good", but therein lies the problem: lack of presence in today. How many people were killed, executed, tortures, imprisoned, displaced, etc in the name of a "better future"? A lot of people tend to not realize the consequences of their actions on others because they believe a spreading of their beliefs is for their own good.
 
I'm sick of not hearing back from employers who I've sent my resume too. Sent a batch out on Thursday and a really hope something comes of it.

Overall just sick of wasting my time on shit only to be let down in the end.
 
Its tough out there man here in Canada too keep your head up though when you least expect it something will find you(most of the time)
Your young at least you got that going that's what employers want just think of all the older middle age people looking for work who canteven get someone to take their resume simply because they want someone younger.
 
I hear you guys. I'm waiting on a job opportunity that fits my current situation, but requires several administrators to coordinate, and the wait is going on a month and half at this time.
 
Papaverium said:
Havent had a single chance to leave the city alllllllllll summer, and I'm going STIR CRAZY! Gotta get outta here at least once before summer is over. I can't stand my city X(
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I feel exactly the same, I'm going nuts here too... The constant noise in my neighborhood and the daily public transit routine is driving me batshit crazy.
I had a car for a few years, which made it so much easier to get out of the city and find some silence by a lake somewhere. I crave that silence, that smell...
Now I'm just counting the days until my vacation at the end of September... Renting a car and getting the fuck away from Montreal!!
 
Lol i cant even leave for a vacay hpw bad is that. Oh well i have 3 more months til i hand in my notice :D
 
*growl* When i send in authorizations for releasing medical records, I should be able to depend on the doctors and the people that work in medical records for a living to then process the documents from their end. That is their fucking job. They do this shit for a living. */growl*
 
God damnit you fucking stupid whore fucking bitch. Why did you have to fuccking scream at me to get you meth. My choice of friends was shit. This stupid fucking bitch would fucking scream for meth and guess what i hooked her up with the towns super tweeker and we smoked so much meth and felt nothing. Guess they dont tell you that you get addicted like the 4th time u do it cuz u just want to feel what they're all fiending for. Oh yeah thanks you <snip> fucking loser for bait and switching meth when i just had a little adderall problem to get me to do it first time

DISCLAIMER: IM PSYCHOLOGICALLY INFANTILE SO MY DREAMS AND HOPES WONT HAPPEN REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY BRAIN CELLS IVED KILLLED AND HOW SCHIZOPHRENIC I AM
 
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I am.absolutely lost for words. My amazing partner at work is now also planning to quit and she actually wanted to quit today already, we are overworked, overstretched and exhausted and not getting the help we need. I have tl regroup my thoughts again but i have come to a point where i just dont give a fuck if i meet our deadlines. I only have two hands so fuck it they can just fire me lol
 
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