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Severe methadone withdrawal and desperation

Just want to say you are a real inspiration! Knowing others can get and stay clean helps me stay clean.
 
englandgz74 said:
Wow...you had extended QT syndrome on only 40mg?....were you on any other medication that extend QT interval?. That's very unusual. I hope you're OK now.
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No other meds known to cause it, no known family history. I have RA, hypothyroid courtesy of prednisone, and have never had anything close to a seizure happen before all this. By the time i saw a cardiologist a couple weeks later i had dropped the methadone to 25mg and the QTc was down to 480 from 558. Cardio doc gave me 40mg nadolol which dropped my hr to 42 and about strangled me from airway constriction. So i d/c that one.
I just want to get away from doctors as much as possible, try some other way of handling my health w/out docs' bs potions that steal my money, swap one health problem for another (i.e. side effects) and -even if very careful and respectful- can kill you. Most terrifying experience in 50 yrs on this rock.

Hope you're doing well OP!
-izzy
 
I'm still around. I am at 13 days today (AM), tomorrow is 2 weeks. I am already feeling better, sleeping better, and working out every day. I've been in this room for almost 2 weeks now but I have ventured out a few times over the last few days. I feel like I have been walking around in a dream for the last 11 years, like I'm just waking up from a coma. I'm having laughing/crying fits for no particular reason, but my nausea, cramps and most of the WD symptoms have been pretty well non-existent for the last few days. I still feel really bad when I first wake up in the morning, but as the day progresses I feel a little better. Onward and upward. Thanks for all the support :D
 
keemo7 said:
When I was younger, all the detox staff would say "nobody ever died from not sleeping". They would happily let you stay up all night, night after night. I was lucky to be in a place during my second detox, where they went against the rules and let me sit in the tub for hours at a time. Of course now the medical community understands how absolutely essential sleep is to your body and mind. I believe that the lack of sleep compounds the fundamental issues that create the impulse to "get high" to begin with. So then you are left with your originally fucked up mental/emotional process...and now you can't sleep! It's a long and winding road, and the older and more experienced you become at feeling like shit, the more hopeless you become about your future. Happiness is a naturally occurring drug. Unfortunately it's one that you are either born with the capacity for...or you are not. Getting older will not make anything easier. It will just give you more shit to reflect on. If you can manage to rid yourself of the mental crutch that drugs can supply, then I guess it's best to do this at a young age. I wish I could give you more hope, but I have never been good at finding it. I can definitely tell you that you have to sleep. Try the hot water tub for as long as possible, drink some hot milk and go directly to bed. Get yourself one of those noise machines and try the white noise. Sometimes that will help to shut off your thought process a little. I am thinking of you and hoping you can get to a better place.
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My doctor put me on cyclobenzaprine, which I was taking at first and it was helping. Now I can sleep on my own for 4-5+ hours without it.
 
"I feel like I've been walking around in a dream for the last 11 years, like I'm just waking up from a coma". I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I crave that warm opiate blanket, but there's something to be said for being aware of and participating in your world, and not just sleepwalking through it.

"Im having laughing/crying fits for no particular reason". Yup, check. Mine are getting better now.

Keep it up, you're doing great :)
 
My partner and i just jumped ship off sub and it definitely ain't a walk in the park but you can do it! 5-HTP is helping me regulate my sleep again and helps loads with mood and depression. We swear by the stuff. And since you've came 13 days, which btw, is awesome! You should be proud of yourself. I know it's hard to feel proud when you feel like shit but, think of the worst day you've already had and know that that day is already behind you. I am still recovering myself and I still feel like shit but I can feel my true self under the surface now for the first time in a few years. Listen to all the great advice and keep your head up!
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!! ;)
 
Thanks for all the comments. Today is 2 full weeks clean and sober. This is the 4th day in a row that I have been able to sleep through the night and wake up feeling fine. I get a little shaky/nauseous when I first wake up but it goes away as the day progresses. If it weren't for the people on this forum I would not have made it this far, nor would I have the strength of will to keep going. I'm not even having cravings at the moment, which is odd, but I'll take what I can get. Onward and upward.
 
I have been taking Tramadol when I need it for my back (I have a compression fracture and 2 slipped discs) but I've been taking it very sparingly. I've also taken -50mg every day, getting down to the bare minimum and ONLY if I need it, which is typically at night when my back starts hurting the most.
 
2weeks now, wow!! Dude great to see your still kicking bro. A lot of people say they are but they seem to fall off which is normal I guess. Good to see you fighting the good fight. Dude u got some serious physical issues going on, I'm surprised the trams help u at all, but its great they help a little. Tylenol and naproxen work better for physical pain than most narcotics IMO. There's exceptions if course. Well I'm feeling shitty today bro and just wanted to let u know I'm still following your thread and I'm cheering for you man, take it easy brother...
 
It's been awhile since I've been on here. Sorry for abandoning the post, my friends, but I have not abandoned my mission. Today is 40 days with no methadone. I finally got insurance so I've been addressing all of my medical issues. I've had 11 doctor appointments (in various practices) over the last 3 weeks and I've got about 8 more to go before the end of next week. I am starting in pain management on the 20th for the issues with my back (compression fracture, slipped/bulging discs) to see what needs to be done about it. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that if surgery is required, then I'm going to end up back on some kind of opiate. I can't deal with the back pain efficiently the way it is, let alone after surgery. Also... I've been smoking pot (medicinal grade) to manage my pain without going back to opiates. Should I just tell the doctor right away that I smoked some weed or wait and see if it shows up in UA?
 
That's a tough one. I don't get drug tested for my pain management (not that it would matter if I did as I don't like weed). From what I understand pain doctors in the US vary widely in their attitude ranging from zero tolerance to couldn't care less. I guess it depends on how certain you are it will show in the UA. If your certain it will then maybe best to broach it first and explain that you were using it purely as a pain management tool.
 
That's what I planned on doing. I'm going to tell him that I was in a lot of pain (and I was/am). I didn't want to resort to narcotics/opiates, which is true, not that I could get my hands on them even if I wanted to. I guess telling him the complete truth from the beginning is a good way to start the doctor-patient relationship, and to tell him that I'll drop the habit completely since I am now under his care. I just don't want him to flip and kick me out of PM before I even get started.
 
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