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Mental Health What happens during schizophrenia/psychosis?

D

Dre1990

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May 30, 2012
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Hi bluelighters

Does anyone have schizophrenia or been through a psychotic episode? What does it feel like and how do you behave?
I`m struggling a lot with feeling bad mentally. Some symptoms I have:

-Feeling very depressed, guilty, remorseful. Only see negative stuff, everything gives me bad vibes (watching TV for example)
-Depresonalization, derealization (including lots of existential questions)
-Intense social anxiety
-Drinking a lot
-Social withdrawal (I'm not talking to anyone unless it's very necessary or work related)
-Having a hard time keeping self-care (taking showers for example)
-Suicidal thoughts
-It's very hard to concentrate on stuff and finish tasks
-VERY irritable
-Paranoia, I think

I dont think I'm having hallucinations or delirium though. My mind seems to be working. I can read, drive a vehicle, type stuff at work, carry out some conversations, deposit money in the bank. But some health publications say that the above could be early signs of psychosis. Or is it just some bad depression? I don't know.
 
Your mind goes blank and all you have is the paranoia in severe untreated schizophrenia. Very low mood, emotional emptiness that persists for what seems like forever, not really feeling like you exist. On edge all the time, like anything could set you off or kill you or something. Although the mind is usually 'blank', sometimes when you try to imagine something and 'succeed' you can't really distinguish it from memory. Imaginings seem very likely, you jump to conclusions. Abstraction is largely impossible, you think concretely, only seeing the obvious, generally being really dumb externally. All thinking moves as one vague whole.
 
Dre, what you are going through sounds more like severe depression--with the exception of the paranoia. Is the paranoia extreme?
 
It would be more helpful if you wrote in (short) paragraphs instead of in points. But we can't tell you what you have. But I do suggest seeing a doctor as the social isolation can make things ten times worse.
 
We can't diagnose you, and on principle you shouldn't diagnose yourself. It seems these things you describe are problems and hinder you in some way. Time to go see a professional.
 
herbavore said:
Dre, what you are going through sounds more like severe depression--with the exception of the paranoia. Is the paranoia extreme?
Click to expand...

The paranoia I feel is not intense. Is not anything like the paranoia from methheads on a three day binge or people suffering a bad acid trip. It is subtle, as in Paranoid Personality Disorder. I see negativity in everything and everyone. I see a lot of negativity while watching TV, on news. Is like I feel that human life is a big cosmic mistake. In my daily life I'm very sensitive, I feel insulted and put-upon easily. I feel very hurt when superiors give me any order. I don't like to even think about dealing with authority. I'm very suspicious of pretty much everyone's motives, including people in my family. I keep myself in my room when I'm at home, I dont like to face my parents because they make me angry and I have exploded into rage before. And I'm very resentful about a LOT of people in the past, with resentments that go back all the way to childhood. Also, never in my life I felt so capable of using violence against people (although I havent done anything).

Again, my mind seems to be working, otherwise I wouldnt be capable of going to work and performing some tasks, cook a meal, ride a motorcycle, etc. But I'm not a very functional person. I struggle everyday to keep moving, to concentrate on stuff, get up go to work, keep up with my personal hygiene. I have no goals in life other than survive. I try not to even think about women because I'm so ashamed of my height, my arms and of my life. I fantasize a lot about becoming a bum so I dont have to work anymore. Also I'm a daily vodka drinker.

I know of a few people that are labeled schizophrenics that are suspicious and non-functional. I keep fearing that my mind will deteriorate to the point that I will suffer from full blown hallucinations and delirium :(



edit: I forgot to say that my behaviour in social situations lately is probably the best it has ever been. It's like at last I'm finally controlling myself and not saying/doing stupid things that I regret later. I very often behave like an arrogant, loud person, that always do/say things that catch people off guard. I'm tired, I dont want to be that way anymore. Maybe this is what is sending me into a depression though...
 
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I don't think you have schizophrenia. It sounds like you have some issues you could sort out with a therapist. I don't know why you jumped to the conclusion you have paranoid personality disorder... subtle paranoia or even episodic paranoia can be a normal thing. It seems like to me that you have a drinking problem which could get in the way of showering and other daily tasks, i wouldn't know though i dont drink. You have no delusions or hallucinations, you're really only experiencing negative symptoms of schizophrenia so you might just be depressed. Paranoia for me was more like the federal government was coming for me so I was about to drop an anvil on my head right before they show up
 
^I've never had it that bad at all, but I've had it. No suicidality here. If you're suicidal, call the hospital.
 
Ho-Chi-Minh said:
If you're suicidal, call the hospital.
Click to expand...

^This.

Dre, as far as I know, there are no psychiatrists hanging out in this subforum. So I would not put much stock in getting diagnosed by a bunch of anonymous people on an online forum, however helpful our intentions may be. If you are indeed experiencing these symptoms then please, go see a doctor and be honest about the problems you are having.
 
I had drug-induced psychosis, that I thought was schitzophrenia. Went to a psychologist and told that it would likely leave with time and abstinence from cannabis and meth.

It did, but I am still left with anxiety from WHAT I WENT THROUGH!

Ok, do people's faces always seem angry? Does a persons face that does not smile look pissed off or upset?

Do you think in loop-thoughts? Over and over the same thoughts?

Do you hear little whispers from strangers about you as you walk by?

Can you concentrate whenever you want or ONLY when you are really interested?

Can you speak fluent sentences every-time, or do you sometimes stuff up?

Does the world look a little darker/grey?

This my friend, is psychosis.
 
teological said:
I had drug-induced psychosis, that I thought was schitzophrenia. Went to a psychologist and told that it would likely leave with time and abstinence from cannabis and meth.

It did, but I am still left with anxiety from WHAT I WENT THROUGH!

Ok, do people's faces always seem angry? Does a persons face that does not smile look pissed off or upset?

Do you think in loop-thoughts? Over and over the same thoughts?

Do you hear little whispers from strangers about you as you walk by?

Can you concentrate whenever you want or ONLY when you are really interested?

Can you speak fluent sentences every-time, or do you sometimes stuff up?

Does the world look a little darker/grey?

This my friend, is psychosis.
Click to expand...
This sounds a lot like me on cannabis, where I had my psychotic breaks. Good description.
 
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