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MDMA first time among non rollers, normal dose, how much in control am I?

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mylifeislike

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 5, 2014
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12
Hi,

Basically, I'll be doing my first roll this week as I'll be acquiring some legit MDMA by a very reputable dealer.
Unfortunately, none of my friends are available for rolling around. :( So I am forced to roll together with some family members. They wont know I'm intoxicated.

Long story short, how much in control am I during a MDMA roll, I've heard it's very clean and since anxiety incinerates I assume it won't be a big problem. Plan on dosing around 75mg(erowid).

How bad of an idea is it to do it among non rollers for the first time at home.
We may very likely go downtown during my roll. The relationship between my family and me isn't the best, but not awful. Could any of this pose any problem to me during the trip?

Advice, tips, fun things to do, anything worth knowing? I have already done quite a lot of research, but would still appreciate all advice you can give me to make this super fun :D
- Going to preload some days prior to this event with some magnesium, B-complex vitamins and vitamin c.


jlaw-excited.gif
 
Hi!

First of all, test your stuff! You can buy reagent testing kits online. There could be unwanted (and potentially dangerous) adulterants in it or may not be MDMA at all what you think is MDMA only.
Secondly I advise againt rolling this time. These substances are prone to set/setting. If you want truly magical first time, best if you roll with other rollers. Especially because you will want to share others how you feel. I wouldn't be able to be quiet about it :D
Please do read the MDMA FAQ in this forum :)

Fun thing: DANCING!! I can't imagine a better place for a roll than a party with lights and nice decor. Music will be like you never experienced it before!
(I personally listen to psychedelic trance, truly uplifting, but any music you like will do).
 
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You'll be in control, but keeping in control will ruin your experience. You need to let loose with it. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure your dilated pupils will give you away too.
 
Yep, dilated pupils and you might not be able to stop talking until some physical activity or something that occupies your senses. It WILL dissolve some of your personal boundaries thus you being high will be much more noticable than on weed (minus red eyes :D).
 
I'm not entirely sure why you've decided to drop some MDMA with your family in an inappropriate setting. It just doesn't sound fun to me.

You'll be in control, but keeping in control will ruin your experience. You need to let loose with it
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^^^ That's a big part of the MDMA experience. Being around other like-minded rollers in a comfortable environment (whether that be a rave, at home, etc) to just let loose and have a blast. I couldn't think of much worse than rolling with my family members, worrying about whether they're judging me and trying to control myself. I just wanna roll, talk to people and have fun without being judged. Blocking that blocks a massive part of the overall experience.

Why not just wait for an opportunity to roll with your friends at a club or something?
 
mylifeislike said:
They wont know I'm intoxicated.
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They will, after spending about 30 seconds with you =D have you ever seen what someone on proper MDMA looks like? Even at a low dose they will know something is up no doubt, as it is your first time, you will look very alien, like a kid in a candystore, with saucer-eyes, a craving for cuddling and a hunger for fun

This will completely ruin what is supposed to be one of the most magical nights of your life. Please don't do this, you will regret it I guarantee you.

Apart from ruining your first roll I get the impression your family members aren't really pro-drugs, this will create friction as soon as they notice you are under the influence, which will be almost instantly. Just wait until you get the chance to roll properly and let it all go, until a time where you have nothing restraining you, no obligations, good friends with you, good music and a good atmosphere. Your roll will be 1000x better than with unaware family members (this is about the worst scenario to roll in I can think of actually)
 
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BlueBull said:
Apart from ruining your first roll I get the impression your family members aren't really pro-drugs
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That's can't be closer from the truth.

Long story short, I have terrible anxiety and would like to be free of it this specific week.

I have next to zero friends that are into drugs of any kind besides alcohol and nicotine.
Those that are, live very far away, which I rarely meet and which probably wont be available to roll this week.

However, you guys have made me change my mind, I'm not going to ruin my first MDMA roll.
I'll give it some more time, though that disappoints me a little bit.

I've read that the first roll should be done in a controlled environment at home with some good friends. Since I have next to zero good pro-drug friends at hand atm what would you guys advice me? Wait for the right moment till someone becomes pro-drug or go to a club where most people are drinking with some of my alcohol buddies and roll there. That's stupid...

I'll probably end up doing it alone in the future anyway or with non close friends, but that are into MDMA.
 
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Hi mylife, hey brother I wouldn't advise popping for the first time with family unless they know what your doing ahead of time and they're cool with it. No way possible to hide it, I promise you. I'm not big on "friends" either so you gotta do what you gotta do. It's MUCH better to be around at least 1 other person that's rolling too otherwise your gonna be kinda locked in your own head so to speak. Your gonna want someone around who feels like you feel at that moment, you may not think so but you will. I'm as antisocial as they come and spent a good 6 months rolling alone gritting my teeth and gurning away lol. The first time is a very special thing bro. It's a mind blowing experience and you'll definitly want someone who's chewing away just like you lol. Just to chat and get to know better. Whoever you roll with well, you guys/girls will lose any front you put up for society, your darkest secrets exposed to one another and that's one of the best parts of that first roll is getting to know your "friends" much better. If you roll alone you'll be the only one sharing those secrets. It's a social drug and you'll want to open up your heart to someone and you'll want them to do the same, but if they're not rolling then their front will stay up while your wide open. Shit dude I wish I had a pill right now lol, I'd chat you the fuck up but I'm not a "friend so it wouldn't be the same. It's a great drug and doing it the first time is something you'll never get back bro so make sure you got it all planned out proper, you won't regret it. Damn my first time kinda sucked, driving around selling shit mad paranoid lol. Don't fuck that first time up. If there's no hope of finding a friend or family member to roll with you then, well, then you gotta do what u gotta do and I certainly understand that pill is burning a whole in your pocket. Sooo if ur family is cool with it and knows ahead of time it won't be the worst thing ever but it won't be the best either man. Your gonna look/feel like a straight up alien though and you will not be able to play it off bro, no fuckin way!! I rolled everyday for, shit, for at least 6mths maybe a year, 10-20 pills a day, I don't remember much lol, even toward the end, even if I only took a small dose, there was no way in hell I could've hidden it for more than 5 minutes. And family knows you better than anyone so they will definitly know ur on something, if they don't know what then they'll make crazy assumptions as to what ur on, they'll probably think it's LSD or maybe something you would never dream of taking and wouldn't want anyone else to think u take, u know what I'm sayin bro? If you let ur fam know and they're cool with it then see if one of the family members your very close to will roll with u. Your gonna wanna roll with someone your very close to for sure cause u don't want all the delicate info u expose to be used against u if that makes any sense...
Anyway no matter what you do brother, make sure u enjoy yourself, your underestimating the power of the E, it's a powerful beast bro, take it easy and enjoy :) ahhhh to pop for the first time, ahhhhhhhh... Lol
 
I once went out rolling. Not a noisy dance club, but club anyways. I was hanging out in the table with friends and met couple of chicks. after about 30 mins later when I was left alone with the chick, she asked directly: "OK, what are you on?"
Got me totally by surprise! Drug usage in my part of the world is not really tolerated. I thought I acted normal (I have pretty good control on myself), the dose was not that big, she was not someone who I know and who would know how I'm normally etc.

Aparently I was just way too happy and euphoric looking :).
And occasional jaw grinding was there too (nothing to mention about, but apparently she noticed).


So save it for some better occasion. You can lose your MDMA virginity only once and the first time is the best. Don't ruin it.
 
bla-ljus said:
I once went out rolling. Not a noisy dance club, but club anyways. I was hanging out in the table with friends and met couple of chicks. after about 30 mins later when I was left alone with the chick, she asked directly: "OK, what are you on?"
Got me totally by surprise! Drug usage in my part of the world is not really tolerated. I thought I acted normal (I have pretty good control on myself), the dose was not that big, she was not someone who I know and who would know how I'm normally etc.

Aparently I was just way too happy and euphoric looking :).
And occasional jaw grinding was there too (nothing to mention about, but apparently she noticed).


So save it for some better occasion. You can lose your MDMA virginity only once and the first time is the best. Don't ruin it.
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Well? What did you tell her?
 
InterestingFACT said:
Well? What did you tell her?
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I told her the truth cause apparently there was no use of lying (and she got me off-guard). Her reaction: Oh I'm so envious of you!
:)
That was one of those great nights out there to remember.

Ps. my earlier comment on "drugs not tolareted" is just to indicate that one should not look like one is under some drug influence, so I needed to pay attention on my appearance.
Alcohol on the other hand... Oh the double standards...
 
mylifeislike said:
That's can't be further from the truth.
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I see. I just thought they were anti-drugs because you were going to try to hide it from them. Guess I was wrong :D

You probably have your reasons for this, but if they're really thát pro-drugs, why not just tell them you'll be rolling? That would still be far from an ideal situation but at least you won't have the added anxiety of having to hide it from them. Perhaps ask the one you have the best bond with to roll with you? That is if any of them actually do drugs

I do not know what your family is like, so probably you have your reasons to hide it from them and not rolling together with them, I'm just throwing some ideas out there

*edit* Oh one more thing, I read that your reason for wanting to roll this week is because of anxiety and wanting to be free of it. Personally I do not think this is a good reason to roll. Drugs should never be used to combat certain issues a person has, except for maybe in a therapeutic setting. But that is just my personal opinion of course. I know I started using weed because of reasons like that, and my usage spun out of control really fast. Same goes for a lot of other people that used other drugs for this. Of course weed is pretty harmless but if you do the same with other substances it can really backfire...
 
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Why rush into it? If it's your first time I absolutely would not advice doing it in this situation, then again it's not my experience to have.
 
Oh. Sorry, big mistake. I meant: "That can't be closer to the truth". My family has this biased attitude towards all drugs and think that every drug besides nicotine and alcohol are gateway drugs and should be avoided at every cost. Just another reason to delay it obviously.

Anxiety has been a big problem for me for a very long time. What would be considered a good or bad reason to consume narcotics is in my opinion a difficult topic.
Since MDMA is used theraupetically for PTSD patients I thought this would be very beneficial for me.
I can reflect a little bit on my anxiety and be free of it for the time being and hopefully have a great time. :)

Doing it alone is better than doing it with anybody I suppose, but at the same time I really don't want to roll alone. '
Locally, raving and rolling is a deserted topic and alcohol is the "in" thing.
However if I am able to find just one person - that is more than an acquaintance- that would be great!
 
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There is a BIG difference between MDMA therapy with a professional and self dosing to attempt to overcome anxiety issues.

MDMA is an extremely powerful substance and if you want to seek out its therapeutical (as opposed to recreational) properties you have to prepare and ideally be with a professional. Taking it with your family who does not approve of drug use sounds like a potential for disaster.

I have had a great time temporary ruined when a sober bystander looked at my pupils and asked me if I was on drugs. It is a buzzkill.
 
^
Basically what Dawglaw said

My family is exactly the same by the way, sadly. And I would never approach any one of them if I was showing any indication of drug use. They know I smoke weed and disapprove very strongly but do not know I do any other drugs. I would never ever roll anywhere near any of them so I would never try to hide a roll around them. Apart from the fact that that's impossible to hide from anyone around you longer than 30 seconds it would spark a 'war' if they noticed I was on hard drugs. It would send their indoctrinated anti-drug minds into complete and utter shock which would make them do drastic things like: "let's do an intervention". "Let's try to get him to rehab". "Let's call the police" even. Let's..." and so on, all while sipping from their whiskey =D

Well there is one exception, my brother, I hide nothing from him though he still disapproves of my hard drug use. He however handles it in a mature way. He was with me on a roll once even to see it for himself, so he could see if the media stories about this drug were true, instead of just assuming they were. He was pleasantly surprised but still disapproves because he says a drug with such a profound effect must have negative consequences I'm not considering
 
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Alcohol just makes me stupid and tired.

I've never done MDMA, but I doubt that moderate and wise recreational usage does not also have therapeutic value. I can't really prove it, but I find it ridiculous if it didn't.
 
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