maybe we need a new label?
I would fall into the label "sociopath", except that I am not evil, and there is sooooooooo much stigma attached to the label. The 'other' word "psychopath" is even more stigmatized.
I don't really feel confident that I could find a local psychiatrist or psychologist within my coverage umbrella who can separate the stigma from the symptoms. I feel even less confident that I could be open with non professionals.
even the definition is ridiculously stigmatized bullshit: so·cio·path
noun \ˈsō-sē-ə-ˌpath, ˈsō-sh(ē-)ə-\
: someone who behaves in a dangerous or violent way towards other people and does not feel guilty about such behavior.
NO. No. no...
I don't behave in dangerous or violent ways towards people. I don't have any desire to, either.
Society acts like every intelligent, confident person who happens to lack empathy and lacks some kind of moral systemic conscious is "bad" or "evil".
Here is a semi-decent list of traits:
GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
Isn't this basically everyone in the media and everyone working?
GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
I'm one of the best on the planet at my skill. Then again, there are a lot of things that I'm incompetent at.
Yes, I do in fact have a low tolerance for irrational emotional behavior from others, but I also greatly respect wise people.
NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
Yes, I need tons of stimulation. No, I do not lack self-discipline. In the age of the internet, I doubt that a tolerance to stimulation is very rare.
PATHOLOGICAL LYING — Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
I don't believe in some moral honesty code. However, I try to remain honest. I like truth, not bullshit. I'm much better with reality than some artificial bullshit dynamic. I don't know about this one. Pathological indicates a pathology. The other day a bartender accidentally gave me a $5 with some $1's in the change. I notified her. But if a girl I want to fuck asks me if she's fat, I'll say "no".
CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
This is a stigmatized one. No I'm not a con artist. If I worked in advertising or the corporate world, I wouldn't have a problem following their standard practices, but this is another "evil" stigmatized trait label.
LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
It's hard for me to feel sad for others. I live a hard life and I don't feel empathy. Maybe others do? I do feel remorse when I make an error. I do cry at movies occasionally. I don't have any "victims"
wtf?
SHALLOW AFFECT — Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
My heart surgeon wrote that I had a "blunted affect". Yet I had quit smoking blunts long ago.
. Who wouldn't after 2 major open-heart surgeries? Various trauma and ptsd or post traumatic growth (ptg) seem like they would contribute as well.
CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
I thought we just went over this one.
PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
There is nothing that I hate more than reliance on others for help with basic financial needs.
POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
I'm not a sheep, but I do try to remain in control of my emotions, and behave rationally.
PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
Now this is considered "bad"?
EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
Not at all. I was a good kid, and good student, who played sports all day.
LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
I know exactly where I want to be in a year, and I am working towards that.
IMPULSIVITY — The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
I used to have this problem. I have pretty much overcome any impulsive issues with a calculated rational approach.
IRRESPONSIBILITY — Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
I do pretty well here, but I could be doing better.
FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
I am working on accepting fault. I have no problem whatsoever accepting/admitting errors. I realize that I have a problem admitting fault when I believe that I am acting in the right, although the general rules of a system would indicate that I am technically at fault. I see that as a problem and try to be aware of it and accept responsibility when that happens.
MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
never married, but yes
JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
Nope, I was a good kid. Again, this is stigmatizing of sociopaths.
REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
no
CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.The word psychopath can be replaced with the word sociopath throughout this page. The meaning is very similar, if not the same.
Again with the stigma. I am not a criminal.
I would fall into the label "sociopath", except that I am not evil, and there is sooooooooo much stigma attached to the label. The 'other' word "psychopath" is even more stigmatized.
I don't really feel confident that I could find a local psychiatrist or psychologist within my coverage umbrella who can separate the stigma from the symptoms. I feel even less confident that I could be open with non professionals.
even the definition is ridiculously stigmatized bullshit: so·cio·path
noun \ˈsō-sē-ə-ˌpath, ˈsō-sh(ē-)ə-\
: someone who behaves in a dangerous or violent way towards other people and does not feel guilty about such behavior.
NO. No. no...
I don't behave in dangerous or violent ways towards people. I don't have any desire to, either.
Society acts like every intelligent, confident person who happens to lack empathy and lacks some kind of moral systemic conscious is "bad" or "evil".
Here is a semi-decent list of traits:
GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
Isn't this basically everyone in the media and everyone working?
GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
I'm one of the best on the planet at my skill. Then again, there are a lot of things that I'm incompetent at.
Yes, I do in fact have a low tolerance for irrational emotional behavior from others, but I also greatly respect wise people.
NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
Yes, I need tons of stimulation. No, I do not lack self-discipline. In the age of the internet, I doubt that a tolerance to stimulation is very rare.
PATHOLOGICAL LYING — Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
I don't believe in some moral honesty code. However, I try to remain honest. I like truth, not bullshit. I'm much better with reality than some artificial bullshit dynamic. I don't know about this one. Pathological indicates a pathology. The other day a bartender accidentally gave me a $5 with some $1's in the change. I notified her. But if a girl I want to fuck asks me if she's fat, I'll say "no".
CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
This is a stigmatized one. No I'm not a con artist. If I worked in advertising or the corporate world, I wouldn't have a problem following their standard practices, but this is another "evil" stigmatized trait label.
LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
It's hard for me to feel sad for others. I live a hard life and I don't feel empathy. Maybe others do? I do feel remorse when I make an error. I do cry at movies occasionally. I don't have any "victims"
wtf?SHALLOW AFFECT — Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
My heart surgeon wrote that I had a "blunted affect". Yet I had quit smoking blunts long ago.
. Who wouldn't after 2 major open-heart surgeries? Various trauma and ptsd or post traumatic growth (ptg) seem like they would contribute as well.CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
I thought we just went over this one.
PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
There is nothing that I hate more than reliance on others for help with basic financial needs.
POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
I'm not a sheep, but I do try to remain in control of my emotions, and behave rationally.
PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
Now this is considered "bad"?
EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
Not at all. I was a good kid, and good student, who played sports all day.
LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
I know exactly where I want to be in a year, and I am working towards that.
IMPULSIVITY — The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
I used to have this problem. I have pretty much overcome any impulsive issues with a calculated rational approach.
IRRESPONSIBILITY — Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
I do pretty well here, but I could be doing better.
FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
I am working on accepting fault. I have no problem whatsoever accepting/admitting errors. I realize that I have a problem admitting fault when I believe that I am acting in the right, although the general rules of a system would indicate that I am technically at fault. I see that as a problem and try to be aware of it and accept responsibility when that happens.
MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
never married, but yes
JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
Nope, I was a good kid. Again, this is stigmatizing of sociopaths.
REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
no
CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.The word psychopath can be replaced with the word sociopath throughout this page. The meaning is very similar, if not the same.
Again with the stigma. I am not a criminal.
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