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When is it OK for a man to hit a woman?

MDAO pretty much nailed it.

Eloquently said sir.

You know I know exactly what you are talking about.
 
Defense yes. i got jumped in a below ground mall parking lot by 2 mexicans and their girlfriend and yeah i hit that bitchs she was scratching me she stopped after i did and sat down
 
The only way i could see myself ever hitting a woman would be if it was absolute self defense and it was a situation that could get me killed. I'm not going to hit a woman back for a lousy punch but if one came at me with a gun,knife, bottle, etc and it came down between me hitting a woman and ending up in the morgue id pick the former.
 
The idea of "OK" is highly subjective. There is no "right" answer because morals are a fabrication of the human consciousness.
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I have a different take on this, and I'm going to touch a nerve here.

I think this endless controversial debate is actually a proxy, or even red herring, for an issue that's surprisingly much harder to talk about frankly, and tends to make the mood much more awkward. I'm talking here about the social fiction we keep up in society that being a potential physical threat no longer has any bearing on a man's social status. Well, as a man of slight build and gentle nature, I've been shown numerous times just how much a fiction this is.

Reread One Thousand Words' post on page 1. Show me any man who says what he says with true conviction, and I'll show you a man who is probably big, obviously strong, and has many subtle physical and personality traits of a high testosterone male. This is not at all incompatible with being kind and loving in deeds and words -- as many women will conclude when they dig deep, "I want a nice guy made of badboy material." Such guys have nothing to prove to anyone, since just one look at them is all it takes 95% of people to know subconsciously that angering them is a bad idea. It's all about potential, not actual, violence. You either come off to people as someone with the unrealized capacity to do them harm, and you automatically get a good bit of respect, or you don't and you'll always have something to prove.

When a woman physically assaults a man, his status in the hierarchy of who has the potential to kick whose ass gets put into sharp focus, both for him and for others who witness or hear about the attack. For a clearly potentially menacing male who has nothing to prove to other men, simply refusing to take the female attacker seriously (let alone fight back) is the obvious solution. But for a man who isn't potentially menacing to anyone and has been differentially singled out for mistreatment at various points in his life, he's in a bit of a lose-lose situation. If he hits back, then he's showing everyone just how lowly and insecure he is. If he refuses to hit back, he stands an actual chance of being injured (most women are not THAT physically weak, especially ones who'd initiate a fistfight), or at the very least probably won't be able to deflect her attack gracefully on a moment's notice, and makes people think, "Wow, he's so wimpy even a girl can beat him up!" (And/or, "Wow, he's such a fool that he's an ass to people who are clearly willing and able to beat him up!")

So yes, while I agree that women are on average less physically threatening than men, I reckon that nine times out of ten, a man self-righteously enshrining this bit of chivalry is actually indirect advertising that he's top dog. And due to this indisputable general fact of sexual dimorphism, no man can say anything but nod in agreement, lest they both challenge the alpha male, and make themselves look lowly and depraved, in one fell swoop.

I'm against physical violence in general, always have been. I generally do my best to not do anything to anyone that would make most people angry enough to hit me. Or maybe I've just opted to run in social circles where people have too much to lose to resort to physical retaliation 99.9% of the time. But apparently I learned this lesson a bit too well. I was too people-stupid to realize that even in a world where actual physical violence is rarely seen, the perceived potential you have to bring physical harm on those who've wronged you still remains a key ingredient to how others regard and relate to you, at least as a male.

This is really the key to understanding my darker side and why I'm paradoxically both a humanitarian and a loner. I've got more of myself to give, and a deeper well of compassion, the less navigating of human (especially male) hierarchies of dominance I endure.
Click to expand...

It's nice that you were able to avoid violence but its not always an option.
 
I am a woman, and I have beem in more physical fights with males than I have beem with females. I am 19, going to be 20 in a few weeks. 5'1, and 114 lbs currently, so I'm a small girl. Every male adult that I had in my life as more than just an aquantince, has usually been violent or agressive, and always had an angry nature. Family members, My dad, but I haven't been around him since age 2, I heard he was abusive to my mother. And then my mother's sister, my aunt had an adult son 18 years older than me, his dad who was never around was abusive to my aunt. And her son, my cousin was abusice towards me in every way possible. We were always fighting throughout my life. Then my aunts boyfriend, who she has been with over 20 years, my uncle has been abusife towarss me, and maybe her, but im unsure. My first love, and serious boyfriend, was abusive to ,me later on. Several non important males I met were physically abusive to me, ever since I can remember, but it got worse and worse after age 16. Had another boyfriend, somewhat violent and abusive, but not as much physically, just agressive, angry. Then 2 other guys I dated, one was not at all, was more of my protector. Then the guy I am with now gets angry, aggressive, and somewhat violent, but isn't physically abusive.. also before him I had a longterm relationship with a girl who became very abusive, worse than anyone I have ever known. So I have a lot of history with violence, fighting, and physical abuse, as well as males hitting females. I think it honestly depends on the people, situation, size, age, etc.. I wouldn't exactly justify it, ever.. but I would understand in certain situations, or excuse it. I used to believe it was never okay. But idk now, some situations. But I do not believe a man should fight a girl, the same way he would another man, especially if he is a lot stronger or bigger than her, that isn't a fair fight. But I probably deserved to get hit in the face by a guy a few times, I put myself in a man's position. I needed to get knocked down, and realize how small, and fraigle I am, instead of believing I was 10 foot tall and bulletproof.
 
Family gatherings at your place during the holidays must be a real hoot.

It is definitely a cultural thing. I don't know any family member who beats their wife. It might happen behind closed doors I don't know, but in my social circle violence isn't something that we celebrate, justified or not.
 
NEVER lol no that's BS ..

I was raised never to hit a woman (by a drunk who beat me ..and I looked up to lol and yes that's in the past just pointing out weird..) ..

i cant any hit a girl ..when boxing I had to spar with a semi pro female boxer I don't know her weight division but she was around my size at the time she was probably 5ft6 (shorter) and idk 150-190(held weight well) ... Well I was all ready to spar ..my trainer (also a women for the Olympics trainer commission too ) ..says ok "you" and "you" ..

i said wait where's everyone else ..well 2 guys there had a fight coming too soon to spar (amateur you go in healthy) ...and the other was the other trainer who is a pro heavy weight walking around at 225lbs ..I asked for him but he had a broken rib and closed black eye (not fully) ..

I wasn't ready to spar my trainer had previously claimed as it was only my 2nd month (her rule is 3-6months before sparring) ...
So I don't wanna pass it up but everyone could tell I wasn't in to it..

she said if you can't hit your opponent I can't train you (half sarcastic) ..the girl said don't worry I won't hit you in the nuts lol..

we started a short spar ..I couldn't hit her .,I threw BS jabs ..and got punished for it ..my poor kidneys lol but I just couldn't ..

but that's me ..now if your life's on the line or you're sparring a girl your size basically and =to an opponent you'd have (but more experience and basically a pro) ..you hit them lol

I could see some exceptions and some crazy scenarios like "what if she's drowning your kids" ..yes wreck her ...

basically theres time time but overall you shouldn't .
 
One Thousand Words said:
Family gatherings at your place during the holidays must be a real hoot.

It is definitely a cultural thing. I don't know any family member who beats their wife. It might happen behind closed doors I don't know, but in my social circle violence isn't something that we celebrate, justified or not.
Click to expand...

+ 1

As a woman I have been in an abusive relationship whether its something I said or did to piss him off was not justified. I couldn't stand covering up the bruises and lumps on my body during the hot weather wearing long sleeved shirts and pants.

Here's one for yea the day before my graduation day I had to cover up a black eye...needles to say the relationship ended and I had a PFA put on him he violated it and was sent to jail & still through prison walls he was sending me love letters, he got out and stalked me and went to a high security prison for attempted murder.

There is not a day that goes by that when I'm getting dressed or putting lotion on my right arm that I see those scars where he stabbed me Fucking dickhead.
So any women or young girls that are being abused leave that person it's not love. Learn to love yourself and never let anyone hurt you <3 .

I'm lucky that I'm still here, choose wisly and look out for sings that can end you up in someone abusing you. It's not only men who abuse women but females do this as well.
 
I don't think it's ever okay to hit a woman, I got all blacked out drunk quite a many months ago and after a TON of harassing towards me, on her part, i.e. running up and slapping me in the face, and just plain old being a bitch. I hardly ever use that term but at the time, thanks to Mr. Jägermeister. Which I don't drink anymore thanks to this occasion, I slipped up and hit the woman of my dreams right in the face with a tough left hook to the right side of her face and literally shattered her right orbital socket, orbital socket is your eye socket. I still feel like a total piece of shit for this, even though it's been like 9 months, there's nothing else I'd rather take back than this! Not to mention her brother wanted to KILL me, I had to have the most awkward conversation with him about what took place between me and his sister, luckily I got that same girl off of heroin and he gave me a "one time only" pass because of that! Don't do it, you'll regret it more than anything!
 
Fuck her in the ass & then give her a hard strapping on the butt. No need to punch her in the face, but maybe slap her & pull her hair. Treat her like a dirty slut. That's my theory
 
I think you should use your best judgement. If you feel they are actually going to hurt you, go for it. If they are just being mildly annoying, i'd say ignore then. If i'm playing around with a guy/being bitchy and i smack him without any real intention of doing damage, and he clocks me, i'm gonna be kinda mad, since I obviously wasn't hurting him. But If I take a real swing at a guy, I'm expecting to get one right back. My bottom line is, only fight people your own size, and that doesn't mean only in body size. If she can pack a mean punch and knock you on your ass, she's a fair fight. If she's the size of tinkerbell and she may be trying all her might to punch you but it's just feeling like butterfly kisses, then thats obviously not a fair fight and you're an ass to knock her out. I've punched my husband before (not proud of it) but I know how to throw down and I could seriously hurt him, even though he's twice my size, So when he hit me back, I deserved it. Just my opinion though. I'd still say just don't do it, because the laws on assault are very prejudiced and even if she admits to hitting you first, You're going to be the one going to jail.
 
- If chick shows obvious intent to cause me or a loved one immediate grave bodily harm or death
- If I am being jumped by multiple women
- I dont want to seem homophobic, but if the woman is an ultra masculine lesbian who is initiating physical confrontation with me

Any other situation where the woman is the violent aggressor, I would just firmly restrain her in a way that she recognizes my strength. In an extreme case where the woman is exhibiting rabid like behavior while trying to harm me, I would use this opportunity to apply a chokehold until she sleeps.
Because of my training and conditioning, striking a woman would be catastrophic and an unnecessary use of force. If a volatile situation is inevitable, I would like to adhere to harm reduction. Striking a woman because of emotional distress is weak imo.
 
I used to know a bitch who would literally beat up her bf because she was a fucking psychotic cunt. She broke his jaw, fracatured his ribs, and socked him. He never laid a hand on her, but had I been him, I would have knocked that bitch out. She was the stereotypical tweaker that couldn't handle it. She treated that dude like pure shit.
 
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